Achilles heel...

Be strong but not rude.
Be kind but not weak.
Be humble but not timid.
Be proud but not arrogant.

- Unknown

It’s easy to be calm, cool and collected when we’re not personally affected. Problem is, we carry baggage and sensitivities from the past and it’s hard to be rational when old wounds get stepped on. Happily, with some savvy life coaching and focused effort, I’ve realized relationship improvements and minimized unwanted drama. It seems that we can in fact learn new ways of coping and kinder ways of communicating to ourselves and others. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Four important words...

There are four words that, when said, will bring out the best in your team, your employees, and your family. They are:

“I believe in you.”

- Coach K

Powerful words indeed. Maybe we can remember to say them to ourselves more often. Just sayin’ ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Uncomfortable communication...

Communicate. Even when it’s uncomfortable or uneasy. One of the best ways to heal, is simply getting everything out.

- Unknown

I’m still working on this one. I think we’re afraid to hurt people’s feelings and so we remain silent. If we do decide to speak up, we’re not sure how to say that uncomfortable thing for fear of backlash and repercussions. I’ve realized we do need to right the ship however, or we risk troubling distance from one another. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Xmas stress...

I’m dreaming of a white Christmas... but if the white runs out, I’ll drink the red.

- Unknown

Ha ha ha. Seriously though, some people rate Christmas as being more stressful than divorce or being burgled. The endless to-do lists, family expectations, lack of funds and challenging relationship dynamics are legit sources of duress. Helping professionals advise us to lower our expectations and know that we’re not alone. Clearly the bars pack out this time of year for a few reasons, Lol. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs. xo

Merry Holidays all... and if the family stuff gets tough, may you find solace with your friends, great escapes and favourite past times!

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Getting older...

The older I get, the more I realize I don’t want to be around drama, conflict or stress. I want a cozy home, good food, and to be surrounded by happy people.

- Unknown

My thoughts exactly. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. xo

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Laws of detachment...

The Laws of Detachment

Allow others to be who they are.
Allow yourself to be who you are.
Don’t force situations. Solutions will emerge.
Uncertainty is reality - embrace it.

- Sue Fitzmaurice (Author and Coach, formerly nurse, business owner, management consultant and CEO. Fitzmaurice holds degrees is philosophy, international relations and business. Wow. Her purpose now is to teach, research, coach and write about purpose).

Life is such a mixed bag of the expected, the unexpected, the welcome and unwelcome. It’s great to be in our comfort zone and in control whenever possible, but we all know the shit hit has a tendency to hit the fan. A healthy detachment seems like a great idea. If we allow a little room, maybe we won’t be so thrown off by the “bad” stuff. Food for thought. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

More compassion?...

Compassion is so often the solution.

- Unknown

Forgiveness and compassion are supposed to set us free. Now, I’m pretty positive to a fault, but even I’m surprised at how challenging this can be, given some of life’s toughest challenges; betrayal by a trusted long-term friend or romantic partner, unexpected downsizing and job loss in a bad market, relentless family discord? I have experienced all of the above and I can’t say I’ve been a rock star in the compassion department. I aspire, to be sure, but the consequences moving forward require a lot of coping strategies. Betrayal can shake us to the core and require healthy guidance in learning to trust again. Job loss can hurt our finances for years to come and require much patience and commitment while we secure our future. Family discord can be nothing short of “Groundhog Day.” So, what do we do when compassion eludes is? First off, it’s normal to ride the emotional rollercoaster for a time ;) and then.... after twenty-plus years of psychological curiosity, research and guidance from many different experts, I tell myself; shit really does just happen in life, so don’t take it personally, embrace the emotions and hear what they’re telling us, learn the lessons and make sound changes, don’t be afraid to seek assistance when needed and absolutely try working with forgiveness books. Most of all, be patient because letting go in order to move forward is not a quick fix, even with much assistance. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Living well and longer...

The secret to living well and longer is: eat less, walk double, laugh triple and love without measure.

- Tibetan proverb

I think we kinda know this intuitively, but it’s not easy to maintain, is it. Just sayin’ :)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Stay strong...

I truly admire those who stay strong, even when they have every right to break down.

- Unknown

We find out how strong we are when we’re tested don’t we (i.e. job loss, breakdown of a relationship, betrayal, death of a loved one, debilitating injury, financial duress etc.). I’ve faced most of these actually and I’ve been surprised at my lack of capacity to rise at times. My father was dying of cancer and I found it incredibly difficult to face him. It didn’t help that he was scarier and angrier than ever. Still, I was shocked and disappointed in myself. I continue to learn that strength and security need to be cultivated from deep within us. If we have to overcome a difficult childhood, or what have you, so be it, but nothing external can fill us up and make us feel truly safe for the long term. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Self discovery...

30 Questions for Self Discovery

1. How do I feel at the moment?
2. What do I need more of in my life?
3. What would make me happy right now?
4. What is going right in my life?
5. What am I grateful for? List at least 10 things.
6. When did I experience joy this week?
7. List all my small victories and successes.
8. What’s bothering me? Why?
9. What are my priorities at the moment?
10. What do I love about myself?
11. Who means the world to me and why?
12. If I could share one message with the world, what would it be?
13. What advice would I give to my younger self? (Do I follow this advice now?).
14. What lesson did I learn this week?
15. If I had all the time in the world, what would I want to do first?
16. What’s draining my energy? How can I reduce or cut it out?
17. What does my ideal morning look like?
18. What does my ideal day look like?
19. What makes me come alive? When was the last time I felt truly alive?
20. What/who inspires me the most? Why am I drawn to those aspirations?
21. Where does my pain originate? What would need to happen for me to heal?
22. What are my strengths? What am I really good at?
23. What is something I’ve always wanted to do but was too scared?
24. What is something I would love to learn?
25. What hobbies would I like to try?
26. Where would I want to live in my ideal life?
27. Where would I like to travel in the next 5 years?
28. What can I do to take better care of myself?
29. When have I done something that I thought I couldn’t do?
30. At the end of my life, what do I want my legacy to be?

Compliments of lavendaire.com

# 13 is my favourite. I’ve been thinking a lot about my younger self. I would love to tell my naive, people-pleasing self a number of things; wait for a great match, rather than getting caught up in attraction alone, avoid people and things that drain your feel good energy because you’ll never get that energy back and it’ll take away from the good that you can bring into your life and most importantly, learn to say no without apology because you need to take care of your well being above all or happiness will be elusive. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

A meaningful life...

A meaningful life is about being real, being humble, being strong and being able to share ourselves and touch the lives of others.

- Unknown

That cuts through the noise doesn’t it. Of course we’re going to strive for coveted possessions, adventures, career milestones and what have you, but I love the idea of measuring our positive impact on ourselves and others when it comes to success, happiness, fulfilment and meaning. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Lessons of failure...

It’s fine to celebrate success but it is more important to heed the lessons of failure.

- Bill Gates

Coming from Bill Gates, that means something. In other words, a certain amount of failure is to be expected. I find that very comforting. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Leap of faith...

There's so much talk around "Mind Power" and our ability to impact our world. Obviously we can't control everything. Life brings what it brings... but I’ve been noticing more and more, that when I make a big, heart-felt wish and then set it free, miracles keep happening in my life. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Setting goals...

A goal is not always meant to be reached. It often serves simply as something to aim at.

- Bruce Lee

Well that’s very wise and makes me feel better about not accomplishing some of my goals. I realize I’ve spent loads of time pursuing certain avenues that have not as yet produced a return. What I do know is how much I’ve enjoy these activities and maybe that’s enough. Perhaps some passions are meant to be hobbies and nothing more. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

The new rich...

Happiness is the new rich. Inner peace is the new success. Health is the new wealth. Kindness is the new cool.

- Unknown

What are we striving for? Maybe it’s just balance. We can’t pretend money isn’t important, but on the other hand, we can’t sacrifice our foundation of health and well-being to achieve more more more. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

What the Dr ordered...

The six best doctors: sunshine, water, rest, air, exercise, and diet.

- Wayne Fields (American Author and Lynne Cooper Harvey Distinguished Professor of English, American Literature, and American Culture Studies).

No question about the contribution of healthy living and nature as calming influences. There’s more to it though, isn’t there. Our emotional world is complex, with deep and long reaching roots. Sometimes we need to dig a little deeper... if we so choose of course. I get the numb and escape route. Digging in is not an easy path and seems to be an ongoing (and expensive) project with more layers than we can count. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Forgive yourself...

Forgive yourself for not knowing what you didn’t know before you learned it.

- Unknown

This is a tough one. When we look back, having all the information, things become ridiculously clear and it’s hard not to feel foolish. Life is certainly a work in progress and it would be so great if we could just allow for some shit to go down. I will keep repeating this to myself because I struggle with the perfection thing. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Talk to yourself...

Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love.

- Brene Brown

It’s curious that we don’t necessarily think to do this. We can be so critical of ourselves. I wonder if it’s that old “internalized parent” thing. Our parents do their best to keep us safe and guide us to a happy and productive adult life. Unfortunately, we can end up feeling damaged, flawed and less than. I hope we can ease up on ourselves. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Changing the game...

Pray when you feel like worrying. Give thanks when you feel like complaining. Keep going when you feel like quitting.

- Unknown

I’ve been trying this and it actually works. I’ve made allowances for people because I would be so grateful for kindness when I mess up. Rather than complaining, I’ve replaced the thought with “Well, life isn’t perfect. Things fall through the cracks.” I’m still working on the worry thing. I have a perfection issue and as I’ve gotten older, I seem more anxious. I love the idea of praying (or wishing) the stress away. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. xo

Blessings,

Chatgirl

The art of the pause...

Practice the pause. When in doubt, pause. When angry, pause. When tired, pause. When stressed, pause. And when you pause, pray.

-Unknown

Do I ever need to take this advice to heart. I am permanently on fast-forward, which leads to many klutzy moments. I fell over the weekend and ouch, I can barely use my right arm. As far as praying goes, we’re not all religious or even spiritual, but taking a deep breath and making a wish sounds peaceful. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Remaining calm...

Someday, everything will make perfect sense. So for now, laugh at the confusion, smile through the tears, and keep reminding yourself that everything happens for a reason.

- Unknown

I’m not certain about everything happening for a reason. What does amaze me though, is how often I am completely surprised (and wrong) in life. I have been wrong about people, both to my dismay and to my pleasant surprise. I have made assumptions and later realized I was way off, due to lack of information. I have worried needlessly, only to find an outcome absolutely lovely. (i.e. meeting my sweetheart’s ex/mother of his two boys and realizing she is completely wonderful and a blessing in my life). So, I guess we just don’t know until we have that 20-20 hindsight vision. I still think it takes effort, discipline and practice to remain calm and trust that we’re going to be ok. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Allowances for human weakness...

Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good times and bad. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weaknesses.

- Ann Landers

I wish I had understood this a long time ago. Spending time in the “wrong relationships” is a learning experience and I know we’re not supposed to have regrets, but I would have preferred more time with my one and only true love. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Hopeful?...

Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.

- Helen Keller (One of the most famous deaf people in history. Keller, a prolific author, was well-traveled and outspoken in her convictions. She was inducted into the Alabama Women’s Hall of Fame).

Many wise people say that we have to believe something before we’ll see it in our reality. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Power over you...

It all begins and ends in your mind. What you give power to, has power over you. If you allow it.

- Unknown

I’ve been working on this one for a while, and I continue to be amazed at the lasting impact of past experiences and disappointments. My favourite life coach says go easy on ourselves because the body, on a cellular level, holds onto trauma. Our past traumas can be “triggered” and send our central nervous system into the past wher our body (and mind as well potentially) thinks “it” is happening all over again. So Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is a real thing. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Making friends with insecurity...

Insecurity is the worst feeling. How exactly do we become secure? Is this our parents’ job? Or do we gain confidence from our abilities, accomplishments and popularity along the way? Well, I did manage to succeed at school, at work, at extra-curiluar activities and with friends. The home life on the other hand, not so much. My parents were angry/depressed/disappointed with their not so happily-ever-after and their exhaustion and frustration with raising three children was very clear to my brother, my sister and me. I get it (given my rocky relationship track record... until now, thankfully), but as a child dependent on the situation, I can’t say I appreciated the weighty baggage I was left to dredge through for years to come (with professional help and a lot of curiosity). I have come to the realization that it is my right to feel angry/hurt/resentful/let down/disappointed/ripped off about the world war three home life I was brought into. On the other hand, my favourite therapist says we have to accept the cards we’re dealt. We have to “own” our story, reconcile the dissonance and move forward with a plan for our best success and happiness. Sure, we’re allowed to feel sorry for ourselves, but at some point we need to become the responsible adult in our lives and start making meaningful and rewarding decisions. In a nutshell, we’re supposed to have our own backs by honourinng what we’re feeling and acting accordingly. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Felt with the heart...

The best and most beautiful things in the wold cannot be seen or even touched - they must be felt with the heart.

- Hellen Keller

Ah, the old brain vs the heart/soul/gut thing. Ever made a decision because it just felt right? I read an article about the top Fortune 500 CEO’s and how they felt they owed their succeed to gut instinct, rather than spreadsheet intelligence. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Can it be enough?...

Something just occured to me. Can “it” be enough? Can our best be good enough? Can others’ best be enough? What if we were to just keep repeating this. When we let ourselves down, we just say, “well, that was the best I was able to do in that moment... and that’s ok. I can pick it up where I left off next time and try to do better.” And how about with others? Someone doesn’t follow through and we say “well, I was expecting blank, but I guess that’s all the person was able to do at that moment... and that’s ok. Better luck next time.” I don’t know about you, but I find this idea very freeing. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. xo

Blessings,

Chatgirl

The journey...

Is filled with ups and downs. Don’t confuse the two as ever being everlasting. Get up everyday and apply yourself, be authentic, trust your instincts and know that the more you apply yourself the better you get day by day. The day you are waiting for is the day you want to give up, that is when you MUST keep going. That’s the barrier between normal and greatness.

- Jackson Kiddard

Ahhh, the old battle within. Do we do it now, or put it off until tomorrow or whenever. I don’t know. Sometimes I put things off and then I have a huge burst of energy and accomplish more than I could have imagined. I think we need to give ourselves a get out of jail card once in a while. If we’re in a full on rut, well, that’s something else. Big changes are hard to make and and may require much procrastinating, ha ha ha ;) Just as long as we don’t leave it until waaaaaaay past the end, like I did, and then the bookshelf falls on our head. Nicer if we can plan things out a bit and make the kindest transition possible (i.e. get a new job, leave a toxic relationship, set some healthy boundaries, update skills, add more water and vegetables to the diet, start saving for a better future?). Just sayin’ ;) Hugs. xo

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Life’s many lessons...

Anything that annoys you is teaching you patience. Anyone who abandons you is teaching you how to stand up on your own two feet. Anything that angers you is teaching you forgiveness and compassion. Anything that has power over you is teaching you how to take your power back. Anything you hate is teaching you unconditional love. Anything you fear is teaching you courage to overcome your fear. Anything you can’t control is teaching you how to let go.

- Jackson Kiddard

When emotions overtake, I lean on one or more of my favourite lifelines and dive into; the darkness of a soulful matinee, the good kind of pain from a demanding work out, the glossy beauty of a fashion magazine, the pull of a truly classic slow song. Distractions don’t solve our problems , as some of our issues have very deep roots. Having stepped away, however, I find it easier to be forgiving of myself and others. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. xo

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Imperfect and enough...

The truth is: Belonging starts with self-acceptance. Your level of belonging, in fact, can never be greater than your level of self-acceptance, because believing that you’re enough is what gives you the courage to be authentic,vulnerable and imperfect.

- Brene Brown (Research professor University of Houston and author of four #1 New York Times bestsellers - The Gifts of Imperfection, Daring Greatly, Rising Strong, and Braving the Wilderness: the Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone. Brown’s TED talk - The Power of Vulnerability - is one of the top five most viewed TED talks in the world with over 30 million views).

My favourite therapist says we have to stabilize and solidify our own adult/parent, to take over where our parents left off. If not, our “Inner Child” is left floundering, and then so are we. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. xo

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Celebrate you...

When nobody else celebrates you, learn to celebrate yourself. When nobody else compliments you, then compliment yourself. It’s not up to other people to keep you encouraged. It’s up to you. Encouragement should come from the inside.

- Joel Osteen (Non-denominational Christian Televangelist in Houston, Texas, whose sermons are seen by over 20 million viewers monthly in over 100 countries. Osteen has written seven New York Times Best Sellers. Your Best Life Now remained on The New York Times Best Seller list for more than 200 weeks).

My favourite therapist says that if we rely on something or someone outside of ourselves for love and stability, what do we do if/when it goes away (break up/death/job loss/friend moves away)? I have found this to be quite the work-in-progress. The “Inner Child” just loves attention and approval. Just sayin’ :) xo

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Precious time...

The trouble is, you think you have time.

- Buddha

I had a challenging relationship with my father over the years and spent the majority of our time fearing him and disagreeing with his philosophies and practices. He died at 59 (when I was 33) and I was blown over. I had no idea how this would affect me. I expected to feel relieved. I would no longer suffer his judgments, his disapproval, his narrow view of how I shoud live my life (i.e. be a teacher because this is a great job for a wife and mother. Never mind my personal passions and interests). As the years pass, I realize I would give anything for another crack at moving the needle on his thought processes and beliefs. To his credit, my father worked hard in his later years at establishing a new and improved relationship with his three children. I will always appreciate the special Valentine’s dinner, dancing at the big Italian wedding, Dad teaching me to play golf and him finally listening to my thoughts around his troubled relationship with my mother. So have I miraculously transformed all of my important relationships? Well, I’d like to think my work-in-progress is in good shape. I still struggle to “address” conflict in relationships. It’s not easy to deliver information that might hurt someone. My favourite therapist says we absolutely must draw good boundaries and come clean with our loved ones when we need to make meaningful requests. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

To make the right choices...

To make the right choices in life, you have to get in touch with your soul. To do this, you need to experience solitude, which most people are afraid of, because in the silence you hear the truth and know the solutions.

- Deepak Chopra

Solitude brings us face to face with the potential “void” doesn’t it? Why do we have a void? How do we fill that void? I don’t think we tend to explore these ideas, unless forced ;) I’ve had a passion for psychology and human nature for a long time, but it wasn’t until I faced significant relationship challenges that I looked into my own limitations and fears. The exploration continues and has not been a quick, easy or inexpensive venture, so I understand the avoidance. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

To love...

To love is to recognize yourself in another.

- Eckhart Tolle

I often wonder why our minds so easily go to judgment and criticism. When asked why there is such suffering in the world, the Dalai Lama explains in The Art of Happiness (and I’m paraphrasing of course) that we can’t truly empathize with others until we’ve lived a similar pain. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Your future self...

Do something today that your future self will thank you for.

- Unknown

That is so interesting. I often thinking about what I would tell my younger self if I could; don’t take things so personally, drop perfection as a goal, don’t make assumptions, give yourself and others greater flexibility. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Completeness...

In your neediness you repel, in your completeness you attract.

- Abraham

Ever notice those people who do whatever they want, seemingly oblivious to everyone else. There’s something comfortable about it, like we can accept them because they seem so cool, calm and at peace maybe? My favourite therapist says if we draw boundaries from the heart and soul, others will accept them easily, improving on our relationship with self and others. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Imagination...

The true sign of intelligence is not knowledge but imagination.

- Albert Einstein

It’s so easy to compare and critique. I wonder if this adds more stress than we realize? Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Letting go...

Gives us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness. If, in our heart, we still cling to anything - anger, anxiety, or possessions - we cannot be free.

- Thich Nhat Hanh (Buddhist monk, peace activist and author of more than 100 books, who gives retreats and talks internationally).

We can ruminate on things, can’t we (sibling rivalry or parental favouritism, mean gossip, mistakes we aren’t proud of, wanting more or better vacations/home/new iphone/promotion)? A lot of wise people talk about the importance of managing our thoughts, but this can be easier said than done. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. xo

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Unfuckwithable...

(adj.) when you’re truly at peace and in touch with yourself, and nothing anyone says or does bothers you, and no negativity or drama can touch you.

- Unknown

Now that sounds like true freedom. Something to strive for. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Chaos within...

The best thing you could do is MASTER the chaos in you. You are not thrown into the fire. YOU ARE THE FIRE.

- Mama Indigo (Karate Instructor, International Author, Universal Guide, who “prefers to support others in finding their own way much like a mother with her children.”)

My favourite therapist says that all of our reactions and responses are ours to manage, regardless of what others do or don’t do. We are supposed to own all of our feelings and strive for greater strength and security from within. Takes work, that’s for sure. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Personal power...

When you choose to forgive those who have hurt you, you take away their power.

- Unknown

Having said that, our hurts can run pretty deep, so this may be easier said than done. My favourite therapist talks a lot about our “Inner Child” and how old wounds, if left to their own devices, can run the show in a counterproductive way. The whole thing is very complex. I’ve certainly needed guidance over the years, to minimize the unwanted drama in my life and relationships. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. xo

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Negative people...

Stay away from negative people. They have a problem for every solution.

- Eistein

I wonder what causes that sort of disposition? Is it genetic or a chemical thing? Just sayin’ ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Encourager...

Be an encourager. The world has plenty of critics already.

-DaveWillis.org (Pastor and Author of The Seven Laws of Love, iVow, Marriage Minute, Soul Caffeine).

I’ve read that when we judge others, we judge ourselves at the same time, which can erode our self-esteem and emotional stability. I’ve experimented with this notion and interestingly enough, when I choose to defend and make allowances for others, I feel better about myself and about life in general. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

It’s not personal...

There is a huge amount of freedom that comes to you when you take nothing personally.

- Unknown

Man, I sure haven’t mastered that one. We don’t think much of it when we “observe” and comment on the lives of others, but when the spotlight lands on us, not so nonchalant. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Battle within...

There are some people who always seem angry and continuously look for conflict. Walk away; the battle they are fighting isn’t with you, it is with themselves.

- Unknown

One of my brilliant coaches references “A Course in Miracles” which states that (and I’m paraphrasing) all of our issues/reactions are about us. In other words, rather than blame others for upsetting us, we are supposed to own all of our “stuff” and look for opportunities to heal and become stronger. This is not an easy concept because most of us have been victims in the past and have a right to be angry/hurt. As adults however, we’re pretty much left holding the bag on our past. We can choose to be jaded, or we can empower ourselves and do things differently moving forward. I think this takes time, patience and potentially professional help. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Life experience...

As you age, you’ll learn to value your time, genuine relationships, meaningful work, and peace of mind, much more. Little else will matter.

- marcandangel.com

Life experience is a powerful teacher, that’s for sure. We learn about what/whom we don’t want in our lives and what/whom we can’t live without. Decisions that support our health and well-being seem to be more obvious. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Everyone else...

Everyone you will ever meet knows something you don’t.

- Bill Nye (“The Science Guy” - Cornell graduate, author, American science communicator/advocate and television presenter. Nye was a mechanical engineer at Boeing, where he invented the hydraulic resonance suppressor tube used on 747’s and he also helped develop sundials for the Mars Exploration rover missions)

I’ve been hugely impressed by the talent, creativity, and ideas of my colleagues, friends and family. Maybe we expect too much from ourselves. After all, there’s no way we can know everything. Just sayin ;) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Need less...

Once you need less, you will have more.

- Unknown

Honestly, I couldn’t relate to this in my younger days. Perhaps the silver lining in my career meltdown a few years back helped me with this one. I now enjoy not spending and instead watching my bank account grow. It’s counter-intuitive because not spending can leave us feeling hard done by. On the other hand, when the money begins to accumulate, abundance fills the air. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Apologies...

Apologizing doesn’t mean you’re wrong and the other person is right.
It means you value your relationship more than your ego.

- thepsychmind.com

Same idea around forgiveness, according to the experts. Calming a relationship storm and/or forgiving someone for their “limitations,” (or forgiving ourselves for certain decisions) is a healing kindness. We can be pretty hard on ourselves looking back, can’t we? Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Battle with self...

There are some people who always seem angry and continuously look for conflict. Walk away; the battle they are fighting isn’t with you, it is with themselves.

- Unknown

Accorinding to my favourite therapist, negativity and anger (jealousy and envy as well?) come from a place of hurt. If we can find the root issue(s), we may find a new lease on life. It takes energy to be pissed off all the time. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Daily routine...

You’ll never change your life until you change something you do daily. The secret of your success is found in your daily routine.

- Unknown

I have found this to be true. As they say about weight loss, we have to make a lifestyle change. It might only take a small change too. Got nothing to lose. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

The next 24 hours...

Don’t think about what can happen in a month. Don’t think about what can happen in a year. Just focus on the 24 hours in front of you and do what you can to get closer to where you want to be.

- Unknown

That’s what Ekhart Tolle says in The Power of Now. Our minds take management, that’s for sure. There seems to be a survival instinct that has us scanning through all of our worries and concerns, rather than focusing on the exciting miracles that could happen. It’s pretty frustrating actually. I think it takes much discipline and blind faith to focus on our wants and needs. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Know yourself?...

26 Questions to Help you Know Yourself Better

1. What are my strengths
2. What are my short-term goals and long-term goals?
3. Who matters most to me?
4. What am I ashamed of?
5. What do I like to do for fun?
6. What new activities am I interested in or willing to try?
7. What am I worried about?
8. What are my values? What do I believe in?
9. If I could have one wish, it would be_____?
10. Where do I feel safest?
12. If I wasn’t afraid, I would_______.
13. What is my proudest accomplishment?
14. What is my biggest failure?
15. Am I a night owl or an early bird?
16. What do I like about my job? What do I dislike?
17. What does my inner critic tell me?
18. What do I do to show myself compassion and self-care?
19. Am I an extrovert or an introvert?
20. What am I passionate about?
21. What is my happiest memory?
22. What do my dreams tell me?
23. What is my favourite book? Movie? Band? Food? Color? Animal?
24. What am I grateful for?
25. Whe I’m feeling down, I like to_____.
26. I know I’m stressed when I______.

- Compliments of PsychCentral

Gets a person thinking, doesn’t it. Just sayin ;) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Empowering ourselves...

Almost every successful person begins with two beliefs: the future can be better than the present, and I have the power to make it so.

- Unknown

There is much consensus on this with helping professionals and happy/accomplished/noteworthy individuals. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. xo

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Better this time...

Don’t be afraid to start over. It’s a chance to build something better this time.

- Unknown

I’ve had to start over... It’s daunting at first. It feels like failure. Then something new happens and you can end up feeling really smart and more capable in the end. Go figure. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Perfection or paralysis?...

Understanding the difference between healthy striving and perfectionism is critical to laying down the shield and picking up your life. Research shows that perfectionism hampers success. In fact, it’s often the path to depression, anxiety, addiction, and life paralysis.

- Unknown

In a different context, I remember Steve Jobs speaking about technology as an ongoing work-in-progress. He said if you wait until everything is “perfect” and “complete” to launch, you’ll never launch your product. Mental note (because I have a tendency toward anal and OCD in the kitchen and around the house, for a start). Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Blind Faith...

Faith is a place of mystery, where we find the courage to believe in what we cannot see and the strength to let go of our fear or uncertainty.

- Unknown

We have to talk ourselves down from the ledge at times, don’t we. Maybe too often? ;) Hopefully it gets easier with practice! Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Much needed break...

I need a break from my own thoughts.

- Unknown

I guess this is what yoga, meditation, nature, a good nap, etc. are all about. We’re so plugged in with our devices and constant engagement, it’s no wonder we’re pooped. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

How we feel... (all of us)

My role in society, or any artist or poet’s role, is to try and express what we all feel. Not to tell people how to feel. Not as a preacher, not as a leader, but as a reflection of us all.

- John Lennon

Wow, profound. So humble, deep and beautifully loving toward our fellow man... all of us. What a refreshing message, given today’s whacky politics and scary lines being drawn. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Off balance...

If another can easily anger you, it is because you are off balance with yourself.

- Unknown

Hey, in a perfect world, we’d never lose our temper, Lol ;) My favourite therapist says that we can address past traumas and learn to better manage our emotions and reactions, but some things we just have to accept. We cannot change who our parents are, or what sort of upbringing we’ve had. All we can do is our best with what we’ve been given. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Saying no...

Saying yes to happiness means learning to say no to things and people that stress you out.

- Unknown

This one is harder than one might imagine, especially when it comes to family. My favourite therapist says we should NOT do things out of duty and obligation unless we make that choice willingly and happily. Sometimes it feels better to take one for the team, but we can’t abandon ourselves in the service of others. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Bridging goals and results...

Discipline is the bridge between goals and results.

- Unknown

No question, accomplishments take work. How do we stay motivated though? Speed bumps inevitably hit and we’re only human after all ;) Maybe if we expect and allow for moments of weakness and procrastination, we can forgive ourselves. Sometimes the break gives a new lease. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

It matters...

It hurst because it matters.

- John Green (Author, producer, actor, editor. Green won the Printz Award for his debut novel, Looking for Alaska, and his sixth novel The Fault in Our Stars debuted at number one on The New York Times Best Seller list).

My favourite therapist says to pay close attention to our responses and what we feel, particularly in our bodies. He says to mine those emotions for information and then decide if something needs to be done/changed/accepted? Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Trust in oneself...

A bird sitting on a tree is never afraid of the branch breaking, because her trust is not on the branch but on it’s own wings. Always believe in yourself.

- Unknown

What brings us strength? Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Never lose...

I never lose. I either win or learn.

- Nelson Mandela

I love that sentiment. Lets us off the hook in some way doesn’t it? Just sayin’ ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

How we react...

Attitude

The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. It will make or break a company... a church... a school... a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you... we are in charge of our ATTITUDES.

- Charles Swindoll (Christian Pastor, educator and author of more than 70 books. Swindoll founded the Insight For Living ministry and radio program, which airs on more than 2,000 Christian and non-Christain stations around the world in 15 different languages. Christianity Today produced an article naming Swindoll as one of the top 25 most influential preachers of the past 50 years (1956-2006). Swindoll is the recipient of numerous awards and has a Doctor of Laws and Doctor of Divinity).

Absolulely. There’s one thing though... we all have old wounds and skeletons and if they’re not looked at, we may not have the editing control that we might like. My favourite therapist says that our “old stuff” can really run the show if we don’t go back and deal with it. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

To love...

To love is to recognize yourself in another.

- Eckhart Tolle

I think it takes work to stop our internal judgments (of others and ourselves). My favourite therapist says we all have an ego and that ego can be a bit of a shit. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Confidence...

Confidence is silent.
Insecurities are loud.

- Unknown

I guess if we feel good about ourselves, we have a nicer approach to the world? Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Do what you can...

Do what you can with what you have where you are.

- Theodore Roosevelt

As Ekhart Tolle says in A New Earth, “do not resist.” He says we cause ourselves a great deal of pain by denying what is or what was. He says we need to accept where we’re at and then make some decisions and possibly take action? This of course takes a great deal of courage and strength. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Shifting our energy...

Gratitude will shift your energy.

- Unknown

I have found this to be very true. Fear and doubt can be hugely crippling. Many wise people say to try and flip over to love and gratitude instead and ease the mind out of worry. There's blind trust involved, but with practice it seems to get easier. Just sayin' :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

We mature...

We mature with the damage, not with the years.

- Unknown

Have I ever found this to be true. A lot of silver lining has come with the toughest times, though, so no complaints. Just sayin' :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Confidence how-to...

"To gain anything, you must practice

If you want confidence then you will have to work for confidence. Journal everything you do that helps you become a better you and keep yourself accountable.

There are three pillars of confidence:
Mental confidence - inner voice, mental toughness
Physical confidence - health and fitness
Spiritual confidence - hope, belief and meaning"

- generationpioneer.com/how-to-be-confident

We learn a lot from formalized education; elementary school, high school, college/university, trades, technical or art schools etc.. Our parents also arm us with as much guidance as they are capable of. It doesn't seem to be enough though, does it? Who teaches us about the intricacies of a great relationship? Who teaches us how to be resilient, disciplined, motivated, inspired, passionate, engaged? Some of these things fall back on us unfortunately. Just sayin' :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Things to quit...

5 Things to quit right now:

1. Trying to please everyone.
2. Fearing change.
3. Living in the past.
4. Putting yourself down.
5. Overthinking.

- Unknown

Such a good reminder. Maybe if we cut ourselves extra slack, we'll have more energy, capacity and courage. Who knows where it might lead. Just sayin' ;) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Power over your mind...

You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.

- Marcus Aurelius

This is the concensus among many wise and accomplished people. Just sayin' :) Hugs. xo

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Way of thinking...

Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact.
Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.

When you arise in the morning, think of what a
precious privelege it is to be a live - to breathe, to
think, to enjoy, to love.

Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all
within yourself, in your way of thinking.

- Marcus Aurelius (Roman emperor from 161 - 181, and the last of the so called "Five Good Emperors." His writings are considered by many to be one of the greatest works of philosophy. His death in 180 is widely cited as the end of Pax Romana and the beginning of the eventual "Fall of the Western Roman Empire.")

The most successful and fulfillling days of my life began with positive changes and an increased investment in my own inner and outer world. Just sayin' :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Ego patterns...

"Discover the ego patterns that have run us and our relationships into the ground. We begin to move from being baffled, righteous, or victimized by our love lives to taking 100% responsibility for the state that our most significant relationships are in. All of our dynamics and imposed barriers to real intimacy, committed love and monogamy are faced."

- Joel Brass (Therapist and seminar leader).

I can't recommend Joel's work enough. Looking into this stuff isn't easy, fun or cheap, but holy cow, what a life changer. Just sayin' :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

The mind...

The eyes are useless when the mind is blind.

- Unknown

A lot of wise people say we are what we think about and that limiting beliefs can really hold us hostage. Just sayin' :)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Something to be learned...

A wise person knows that there is something to be learned from everyone.

- Unknown

I continue to notice how much I learn from my colleagues and friends. It seems so simple after the fact. I wonder why I didn't figure it out on my own ;) Just sayin'!

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Being a good person...

Never regret being a good person, to the wrong people.
Your behaviour says everything about you, and their behaviour
says enough about them.

- marcandangel (founders of Marc and Angel Hack Life, a website that offers inspiring messages)

I've always found inspiration to be a powerful motivator. Just sayin' :)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Ignoring things...

Learning to ignore things is one of the great paths to inner peace.

- Robert J. Sawyer (Award winning Canadian/American author).

My favourite therapist says there are things we cannot change and so we must accept them and move on. If we get fixated on the past or stuck in fear, we will suffer even more. Just sayin' :)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Scapegoat...

Psychologists say most people need a scapegoat -- a personification of wickedness and ignorance onto which they can project the unacknowledged darkness in their own hearts.

- Rob Brezny

The old blame game. My favourite therapist says we need to own our choices in order to empower ourselves and make happy changes. Just sayin' :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Total control...

The two things in life you are in total control over are your attitude and your effort.

- Billy Cox (Keynote speaker, author and sales trainer. "Billy Cox is undeniably one of today's leading authorities on the power of human potential and an expert on the mental aspects of winning.")

It's up to us isn't it. We're adults now and no one's coming to get us out of bed in the morning, or nag us to do our homework. Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Being honest and genuine...

It takes so much energy to lie.. I wish people could grasp the sense of freedom and liberation that comes with being honest and genuine.

- Mama Zara

My favourite therapist says if we wanna be truly happy we need be completely honest with ourselves and others. Not sure why this isn't easy and natural. Maybe we're too busy trying to measure up to others' expectations and/or fit in? It's very liberating once you get the hang of it. Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Love it....

Here is the simple truth that will move you most expediently through absolutely every unwanted and unwelcome feeling, state or condition you may descend into. It works like a charm with every single one of the so-called negative feelings or states. It works with anxiety, fear, sadness, anger, hurt, shame, pain, guilt, and grief. It works with jealousy, nervousness, despondency, disorientation, loneliness and discouragement. Here is the simple way to "pop", like a floating bubble, any of these inner feelings or states that seem to plague and torment you.

Love it. That's right. Love it and love the person who is experiencing it. Love it. Accept and embrace the feeling or state. Whatever arises, love it. If you truly love it, it will leave you and disappear as the ephemeral illusion that always was. Every time.

- Joel Brass (Therapist, Seminar Leader).

I highly recommend Joel's two seminars; The Inner Child Workshop and The Relationship Workshop. They'll change your life. Just sayin' :)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Most dangerous...

The most dangerous person is the one who listens, thinks and observes.

- Bruce Lee

I think we underestimate learning. We think we should know everything already. Just sayin' :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Saving people...

You cannot save people, you can only love them.

- Unknown

The old saying "God helps those who help themselves" comes to mind. A savvy coach of mine said that rather than "save" people, we tend to enable them. Just sayin' :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Noise of others...

Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice.

- Steve Jobs

When I was younger, I was more hesitant. I don't think I could tell the difference between gut instinct (inner voice) and fear. My favourite therapist says to trust what we feel in our body (anxiety, just feels wrong or off), rather than what our mind is telling us. Just sayin' :)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Accepting what comes...

Spiritual guru's (and my favourite therapist) talk about accepting everything that comes our way. We don't have to like it, but we cannot change the things that happen, and so in order to achieve peace, joy and love, we must find it within ourselves to accommodate what life brings. We also don't know what each event may lead to. The worst moment in our lives, may bring us to the person and/or life of our dreams. I happen to have had such an experience. Just sayin' :) Hugs. xo

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Fact or opinion?...

Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is perspective, not the truth.

- Marcus Aurelius

My favourite therapist says we all wear a certain pair of lenses, or filters, based on our upbringing, life experiences, genetics, attitude. Just sayin' :)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Love the one you're with...

How we see and feel about ourselves determines so much of our experience of life and love. Self-love, as opposed to self-judgment or self-attack, is in my opinion the single necessary and often the most difficult path to the continuous experience of personal happiness and inner peace. For many it is even easier to forgive and love another than to forgive and love oneself. This need not be.

- Joel Brass (Therapist and seminar leader extraordinaire. If you want to change your life and enjoy better quality relationships, look him up. Joel has offices in White Rock and Vancouver, British Columbia).

Blessings,

Chatgirl

We rise...

We rise by lifting others.

- Unknown

Hmmm. I get that. It feels good to give back and to help those in need. Not at our own expense and well-being though. Just sayin' :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Talk to yourself...

Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love.

- Brene Brown

When I remember to be kind and forgiving to myself and I remember to think my best is good enough, I feel more comforted than I could possibly have imagined. Now I just have to make it a habit of it. Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Happiness a choice?...

Happiness is a choice, not a result. Nothing will make you happy until you choose to be happy.

- Unknown

I get the idea. Thing is, sometimes life is very, very heavy and stressful and it can go on for a while too. Post 2008 financial crisis, I experienced such a time. I was put to the test in a big way and I wouldn't say I sailed through it like a champ. I had no choice but to tackle each day and endure the sleepless nights and life limitations due to lack of funds. As I look back, I can see the strength and resolve I've gained. I think I'm more capable in my career and I have a deep knowing that I can survive. I surprised myself with the capacity to be creative, resourceful and imaginative and I'm the better for it. Let me just say, there wasn't great comfort along the way, but things are pretty sweet on the other side.  Just sayin' :)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Put out good...

Keep putting out good. It will come back to you tenfold in unexpected ways.

- Unknown

What have we got to lose, right? I don't see the downside ;) Just sayin'!

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Inhale courage...

Inhale courage, exhale fear.

- Unknown

So simple... but I think these sentiments require much discipline and focus. Just sayin' :)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

A great attitude...

A great attitude becomes a great mood. Which becomes a great day. Which becomes a great year. Which becomes a great life.

- Unknown

I've always thought attitude is everything. A big chip on the shoulder seems to come with a lot of set backs. Which comes first? Where does it lead? Just sayin' :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Transformation and relationship joy...

There are so many cliche sayings, like "you get out what you put in" or "garbage in garbage out." Thing is, unless a sentiment hits home, they're only words. I'm not sure why, but the most significant transformations tend to stem from a personal trajedy or moment of profound pain. I've read that we are moved to great change when someone significant comes into our lives, or when they leave. I had one such experience. For three months I wanted to hide under my covers. Luckily, I did the opposite. I was in bed each night at eight pm for sure (hiding from people), but I did not hide from myself. I read and read and read. I also sought the assistance of three coaches from different walks of life. I had made a decision. No more "wrong" relationships. No more settling. No more denying of my deepest truths. No more jamming the square peg into the round hole. I finally understood that in order to live with someone in romantic happiness, there needs to be a match up of the most important aspects of life; mutual attraction, common lifestyle choices (I believe in a critical mass of commonality, otherwise you begin to live separate lives), common beliefs and values, mutual like (otherwise you make faces behind each others' backs and then you eventually snipe at each other in front of  your friends and family. Embarrassing for everyone). There are more, but I think this list has the makings of a solid foundation. In summary, I followed my favourite therapists advice and started having my own back, all the way. This means being honest about who we are, what we need and want and standing by our values and beliefs no matter what. Even if it means losing the hot guy. Just sayin'

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Wanting...

Right now, at this moment, what do you want most?

- Unknown

Hmmmmm. Great question. It all starts with wanting and motivation, doesn't it? Just sayin' ;) 

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Brilliantly disguised opportunities...

We are continually faced by great opportunities brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems.

- Lee Iacocca (Automobile Executive best known for spearheading the development of the Ford Mustang and then reviving the Chrysler Corporation as it's CEO during the 80's. He has also authored and co-authored several books).

Sometimes all we need is a fresh perspective. I'm not sure why this is so difficult, but I guess we need to find a way to get outside of our own heads. Just sayin' :)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Planting seeds...

They tried to bury us. They didn't know we were seeds.

- Mexican Proverb

Set backs can stop us in our tracks, that's for sure. Interestingly enough, so many great things, including critical inventions, have come from "mistakes." I guess it's all in how we look at it. Just sayin' :)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Momentary defeats...

If you allow momentary defeats to find shelter in your heart, you are allowing your most beautiful dreams to become homeless.

- Dodinksky, In the Garden of Thoughts

So poetic. Life takes a LOT of perseverance and stamina, that's for sure. Just sayin' :)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Today's the day to live...

There are only two days in the year that nothing can be done. One is called yesterday and the other is called tomorrow, so today is the right day to love, believe, do and mostly live.

- Dalai Lama

This one seems to take a lot of reminders because we do stress don't we. Just sayin' ;) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Thanking failures and tears...

When I reach the place of my dreams, I will thank my failures and tears. They too, kept me going.

- Dodinsky, In the Gargen of Thoughts

It has occured to me lately that everything in our past has contributed to who we are, both the good and the "bad." Even the so-called "wrong" relationships and the trauma's of childhood have allowed us to learn and grow. Hopefully we've become the stronger and happier for it. If not, well, it's just the journey of life and I guess we need to allow for imperfections and less than stellar moments. Just sayin' ;) Hugs. xo

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Balancing act...

Be there for others, but never leave yourself behind.

- Dodinsky (Author of NY Times bestselling book In the Garden of Thoughts, a collection of inspiring and thoughtful messages).

It's a balancing act, that's for sure. There's only so much time and energy and we do need to make sure our own affairs are in order. Just sayin' :)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Saying yes means sometimes saying no...

Saying yes to happiness means learning to say no to things and people that stress you out.

- Unknown

I don't know about everyone else, but I've found saying no to be a challenge at times. Letting someone down doesn't feel great, even if it takes a personal toll. I guess we have to weigh things out and decide on a case by case basis. Just sayin' :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Leaders...

When I talk to managers I get the feeling that they are important.
When I talk to leaders I get the feeling that I am important.

- Tom Bresnahan (Offensive Coordinator, Football Consultant)

It's kinda like the advice "spend less time trying to be interesting and more time being interested." The movie When the Game Stands Tall features real life coach Bob Ladouceur, who took the De La Salle High School Spartans from obscurity to a 151-game winning streak that shattered all records for any American sport. He did this by mentoring each individual player to his personal best game and most promising future. Just sayin' :)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Awareness...

Awareness is like the sun.
When it shines on things,
they are transformed.

- Thich Nhat Hahn

As they say in AA, admitting you have a problem is the first and most important step of recovery. Just sayin' :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

The Truth About Your Heart...

Your heart will fix itself.
It's your mind you need to worry about.
Your mind where you locked the memories,
your mind where you have kept pieces of the ones that hurt you,
that still cut through you like shards of glass.

Your mind will keep you up at night, make you cry,
destroy you over and over again.

You need to convince your mind that it has to let go...
because your heart already knows how to heal.

- Nikita Gill (28 year old London-based poet.After receiving 137 rejections from pubishers, this poet became a Tumblr and Instagram star)

So many helping professionals would agree. If we can pay attention to our thoughts, especially the negative and self-defeating ones, we may be able to avoid some of the pain in our lives. Just sayin' :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Think faster?...

How to think faster:
1. Say 'Yes, and...
2. Relax your jaw, your mouth may talk on its own - body intellingence.
3. Work with the 1st thought that comes to mind - it is there for a reason.
4. If the other side is silent, let the silence be, don't feel like you have to fill in.
5. Repeat something several times while you are thinking.
6. Listen to your gut, it thinks faster than your brain.
7. Visualize your knee jerk, now produce a "mind jerk."
8. Follow the least effort principle.

- by Anna Vital (Funders and Founders)

Apparently we have a second kind of brain in our stomach, which may be more "attuned" than the one in our heads. Our actual thoughts tend to be burdened by fear and/or past experiences and trauma's. Just sayin' :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Loss of enthusiasm?...

Success is walking from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.

- Unknown

Well, I think there's some loss of enthusiasm after a failure, whether you regularly wear teflon or not, ha ha ha. I guess the trick to it is to yell, cry, sulk, slump for a bit, then regroup and get back at it! Most importantly, if we're not compelled then maybe we need a new plan. Just sayin' :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

The Truth...

Speak the truth even if your voice shakes.

- Unknown

My favourite therapist says that speaking our truth is not only good for us, but for our friends and family as well. If we do things out of duty and obligation, we won't likely be able keep it up and we may end up resentful. Just sayin' :)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

How to have a simple life...

Let go of the past.
Say no when you mean it.
Turn off the phone.
Let go of perfectionism.
Purge your belongings.
Wear minimalist clothes.
Move closer to where you want to be.
Sever unhealthy relationships.
Have an alter-ego to deal with complicated things.
Walk more.
Run slowly and you'll get there faster.

- by Anna Vital (Funders and Founders)

We probably over function or under function in life. A relaxed balance would be nice. Just sayin' :)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Giving up part two...

I would add:
17. Victim

If we feel hard done by and really dig our heels in, I think we can end up spinning our wheels. A good therapist will help us get out of our own way and back to self-empowerment. Just sayin' :)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Giving up?...

Why people give up:
1. Expect fast results
2. Stop believing in themselves
3. Get stuck in the past
4. Dwell on mistakes
5. Fear the future
6. Resist change
7. Give up the power
8. Believe in their weaknesses
9. Feel the world owes them something
10. Fear failure more than desire success
11. Never visualize what is possible
12. Feel they have something to lose
13. Overwork
14. Assume their problems are unique
15. See failure as the signal to turn back
16. Feel sorry for themselves

- Unknown

It's a solo game. No one can make us do things we don't want to do. Either we're compelled, or we're not. Just sayin' :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

How to start the day...

First thing successful people do in the morning:

1. Tackle the hardest problem on your plate (Mark Twain)
2. Visualize how you will make your day (Tony Robbins)
3. Work out. I do it just to clear my head and relieve me of stress (Barack Obama)
4. Don't check your email and do real work (David Karl)
5. Talk to customers. Customer service (Craig Newmark)
6. Every morning I ask myself: 'If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?' (Steve Jobs)

- Anna Vital (Founder at Adioma, Infographic author who runs Funders and Founders, where they explain things visually. Vital is a visionary and an influential member of the Silicon Valley tech community).

Two words come to mind; focus and commitment. Just sayin' :)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Apologies...

Things you don't need to apologize for:

1. Loving someone
2. Saying no
3. Following your dream
4. Taking "me" time
5. Your priorities
6. Ending a toxic relationship
7. Your imperfections
8. Standing your ground
9. Delay in your response
10. Telling the truth

- Compliments of  @Lifehack

Somehow this feels so validating. Just sayin' :) Hugs

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Rule your mind...

Rule your mind or it will rule you.

- Buddha

Keep silencing the fear and doubt. Just sayin' ;)

Blessing,

Chatgirl

Imperfection is ok...

We fall short of our goals at times. Don't use imperfection as an excuse to quit trying to get healthy. If you get off course, re-focus and get right back to the objective at hand.

- Basheerah Ahmad (Masters in Organizational Development, Celebrity fitness expert, with a focus on youth mentorship and performing arts. Ahmad has dedicated her career to the world of obesity and injury prevention because she began to notice that many of her students were extremely talented, but not healthy. She says "an amazing life begins with being healthy!!!").

I wonder why we expect ourselves to be perfect? Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Results...

Results are a function of behaviour, attitude and conditioning.

- Blair Singer (Best selling author, international key note speaker, seminar leader and consultant, who has helped tens of thousands of people increase their sales and income by 15%-85% in an average of 6 weeks. Singer helps develop the skills and mindset to achieve personal and professional goals that yield long-term results. He has shared the stage with Tony Robbins, Robert Kiyosaki, President Clinton, T.Hart Eker and other leaders in more than 35 countries).

Successful mentors do tend to advise that we take complete ownership and focus on; our thinking, our behaviour, our challenges and goal setting. Just sayin' :)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Talk about joys...

Talking about our problems is our greatest addiction. Break the habit. Talk about your joys.

- Unknown

My favourite life coach says some of the most common coping mechanisms are; fight, flight, freeze, tend and befriend (complain to friends and family about our problems). They say "what you focus on expands." Just sayin' :)

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Believe, be patient, don't give up...

Good things come to those who Believe,
Better things come to those who are Patient,
and the best Things come to those who
Don't Give up.

- Unknown

Sounds easy, but for some reason it isn't, is it? So many things in life seem to take regular attention and focus. Just sayin' :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Self-aware?...

We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same.

- Carlos Castenada (Ph. D in Anthropology and critically acclaimed American Author, who was praised by the notable and younger, alternative anthropologists. Castanada's books, as well as the man himself, touched a cord in the counterculture generation and resonated as a myth of adventure and self-discovery).

Self-awareness, like so many things, is a process. Can we just decide to be happy? Well, we can certainly look into it. Maybe there's a different way to go. Just sayin' :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Men and women stuff...

Being a woman is exhausting. We don't know what mood we'll be in next, or for how long.

- Unknown

In keeping with this week's comic relief, ha ha ha. Seriously though, some things are just part of being a girl, aren't they. Same goes for some guy tendencies. I wonder what our relationships would look like if we could accept and even embrace our differences. Just sayin' :)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Cancelled plans...

You know you're an introvert when... you get excited about cancelled plans.

- Unknown

Or, secretly, you just need a night to yourself. I love my devices, but with the pace and intensity of life these days, I don't know how much mindless time we're getting... and they say creativity and invention flourish is those mindless moments. Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Alone time...

My alone time is for everyone's safety.

- Unknown

Ha ha ha. I'm on a comic relief kick this week. Seriously though, like the energizer bunny, we do need to recharge at some point. It takes energy to be "on." Just sayin' :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

To be an adult...

I have decided that I no longer want to be an adult... If anyone needs me, I will be in my blanket fort... colouring.

- Unknown

Ha ha ha. You gotta love comic relief. Seriously though, there's only so much we can take sometimes. Am I right? Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Some days...

Some days I amaze myself. Other days I look for my phone while I'm talking on it.

- Unknown

Ha ha ha. I resemble that remark. Hey, nobody's perfect, right? Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Make it funny...

Remember, if you can't say something nice... make it funny.

- Unknown

Seriously though, it's all in how things are said, isn't it? Just sayin' :)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Some days...

Some days, I can conquer the world. Other days, it takes me three hours to convince myself to shower.

- Unknown

Ha ha ha. I'm glad I'm not the only one ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

A little more faith...

Let your faith be bigger than your fear.

- Unknown

We falter at times, don't we. Let's brush ourselves off and try again. Just sayin' :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

What we tell ourselves...

Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will.

- Unknown

Fear is a powerful force, if we let it run wild. I wonder why we go to fear so often, rather than hope and optimism? Just sayin' :)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

What man seeks...

What the superior man seeks is in himself;
What the small man seeks is in others.

- Confucius

A lot of wise people say "go within." It took me a long time to figure that one out. At the end of the day, so many things are up to us; what we eat (our weight), how much we tune out and watch TV, how much we procrastinate or how hard we work, how we spend/save our money. Just sayin ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Care to understand...

Open-minded people don't care to be right, they care to understand. There's never a right or wrong answer. Everything is about understanding.

 - Unknown

Put feelings and bias aside for a moment and life can be really surprising. Just sayin' :)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Not easily discouraged...

I am NOT easily discouraged, readily visualize myself as overcoming obstacles, winning out over set backs, ACHIEVING 'impossible' objectives.

- Bruce Lee

They say attitude is everything. Just sayin' :)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

No regrets... no matter what...

In order to love who you are, you cannot hate the experiences that shaped you.

- Andrea Dykstra (Author of The Missing Piece/Speaker/Storyteller, intuitive and Master Life Coach (AUNLP), who uses her personal experiences to guide trauma survivors. Andrea believes that we can heal, no matter what and live life without fear and dread. By recovering a part of us that may have been lost, we can live with more joy, peace and love in our lives). 

The Missing Piece: A Transformational Journey is "for anyone who has ever struggled to overcome disease, death, divorce, unemployment, separation, abuse, or other life-altering challenges."

Sniff sniff to the parts of the world and humanity that put us in scary positions. Just sayin' :( Hugs. xo

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

What is hurting?...

One of the most courageous decisions you'll ever make is to finally let go of what is hurting your heart and soul.

- Unknown

They say remaining angry only hurts us and potentially holds us back from joy and fulfillment. Just sayin' :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Opinion...

Opinion is really the lowest form of human knowledge. It requires no accountability, no understanding. The highest form of knowledge is empathy, for it requires us to suspend our egos and live in another's world. It requires profound purpose larger than the self kind of understanding.

- Bull Bullard

Reminds me of the sage advice (not sure who's quote this is) 'spend more time being interested and less time trying to be interesting.' Just sayin' :)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Being selective...

Be selective with your battles. Sometimes peace is better than being right.

- tinybuddha.com

It can be freeing to listen with curiosity and allow others their thoughts and opinions. After all, do they really need to affect us? As the saying goes, "let's agree to disagree." Just sayin' :)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Embrace the learning...

Life can be humbling. Whether we like it or now, we are subject to both positive and negative feedback. My favourite therapist says that sometimes we have to "fall on our sword." I've had a couple of these moments lately. Happily, I've managed to wipe the egg off my face and use the "constructive" feedback to elevate myself both personally and professionally. The rewards can be pleasantly surprising, if we're willing to embrace the learning and make adjustments. Just sayin' :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Relationship update?...

Your ability to live successfully, however you might define success, depends to a great degree on how you relate to other people. If that part of your life is unsatisfactory, the only way you can revise the old relational circuits that determine your current relationships is to expose them and update them.

- Christiane Northrop, Obstetrician and Gynecologist. (Author of The Wisdom of Menopause and Women's Bodies Women's Wisdom)

Made me feel better reading this book. Dr Northrop includes the role of our emotional world in the discussion of physical health. Very interesting stuff. In a nutshell, research is showing that we can have a positive impact on our health and well-being, as layed out by the many suggestions in the book The Wisdom of Menopause).

Blessings,

Chatgirl

The value of information...

The more informed you are, the less arrogant and aggressive you are.

- Nelson Mandela

I've noticed that if I can listen without being defensive, I'm often surprised by some of the life altering learning and growth. Just sayin' :)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Misunderstandings...

I stopped explaining myself when I realized people only understand from their level of perception.

- Unknown

Sometimes we're on a different page, and maybe that's ok. Just sayin'

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Feelings provide clues?...

Feelings are just visitors, let them come and go.

- Mooji (Spiritual teacher, originally from Jamaica, who focuses on self-inquiry and the question of who and what we are at the deepest level).

My favourite therapist says our feelings can also provide critical information. For example, if something makes us angry, perhaps our boundaries have been crossed and we need to take action. Just sayin' :) Hugs.

Chatgirl

Maturity...

The true mark of maturity is when somebody hurts you and you try to understand their situation."

- Unknown

If it becomes a pattern of behaviour, then maybe we choose to opt out of the relationship, or limit the interactions. My favourite therapist says it is wise to spend our time and energy in a way that supports our own health and well-being. Just sayin' :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

How you act...

You are always responsible for how you act, no matter how you feel. Remember that.

- Unknown

Digging a little deeper.... My favourite therapist says we get "triggered" at times by a type of post-traumatic stress from our history, upbringing, culture etc., so our emotions and reactions can get the best of us. Sure, we can work on these sensitivities, but apparently some things are our legacy and we may need to accept them as a part of our make up. Just sayin' :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Words you speak...

The words you speak become the house you live in.

- Helal Hafiz (A Bangladeshi journalist by trade, whose famous verses were seen in wall writings, posters, leaflets and chanted at university campuses. Hafiz is considered a true representative of poets of his generation in an age when his nation was heading toward an independent Bangladesh).

Many wise people say that what we focus on expands. Just sayin' :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Decide...

Decide.
Commit.
Succeed.

- Unknown

There's one thing I've noticed about pursuing that dream job or perfect lifestyle. What we initially envision may not turn out as planned, kinda like life in general. To get started, I read a number of books on following your dreams; Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway, Do What You Love and the Money Will Follow, The Artist's Way and many more. Many of my passions fell permanently into the hobby category for one reason or another, and maybe that's ok. In conclusion, I've realized there is a distinct through line in the things I love doing, and that skill set seems transferable in creating the perfect career path and lifestyle for me. Just sayin' :)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Too much past, too much future...

All negativity is caused by an accumulation of psychological time and denial of the present. Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry - all forms of fear - are caused by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of non-forgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence.

- Eckhart Tolle (Author of The Power of Now and A New Earth)

E. Tolle's words of wisdom offer quite the perspective shift. Helping professionals from all walks of life talk about managing our thoughts and moving away from a victim mentality. Just sayin' :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Small acts of caring...

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.

- Unknown

I heard a few beautiful lines of dialogue in the fabulous show Call the Midwife. The narrator and lead character (I think the show is based on this woman's memories) talks about how perfection is often found in the simplest and smallest of moments, rather than in an individual's qualities or in grand occasions. I love that. Just sayin' :)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Re-writing history...

You don't remember what happened. What you remember becomes what happened.

- John Green, Author of The Fault in Our Stars

They say we make terrible witnesses because our memories are imperfect. They also say we only remember about 10 % of what we hear or see. We'll remember more if we've written or acted on the information we're trying to recall. Then there's the whole filter thing. Our opinions and values affect how we absorb information. We also have a hard time admitting certain truths because we often disappoint ourselves. I'm not sure why this is so painful, but we end up feeling ashamed. I wish we could be kinder to ourselves. Just sayin' :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

What you feel...

Trust what you feel, not what you hear.

- Unknown

My favourite therapist says to check in with how the body feels because our brains don't always know about our emotions. Just sayin' :)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Exactly as they are...

Go and love someone
exactly as they are.
And then watch how quickly they transform
into the greatest, truest
version of themselves.
When one feels seen and
appreciated in their own
essence, one is instantly
empowered.

- Wes Angelozzi, soulwritings.ca

A lot of us have the opposite experience, don't we? Criticism and judgment hit hard and can take years to overcome, especially from family and/or loved ones. Studies show that we respond better to positive encouragement, than we do to negative feedback. Just sayin' :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Sad's bodyguard...

Angry is just sad's bodyguard.

- Liza Palmer (International best selling author of Conversations with the Fat Girl, plus five other novels. An Emmy-nominated writer, Liza lives in LA and works for BuzzFeed).

My favourite therapist spends a great deal of time on this principle. He says the angrier we are about something, the more deeply hurt we are. Apparently, if we have the stomach to look at some of our  core issues, the lighter and more joyful we may feel. Just sayin :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Being alone...

Being alone has a power that very few people can handle.

- Steven Aitchison (Author of 4 books, 10 guides, more than 150 Guided Meditations and UK's #1 personal development blogger).

This gentleman offers a lot of wisdom and kind honesty. Very inspiring. Just sayin' :)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Stop thinking...

I think 99 times and I find nothing. I stop thinking, swim in silence, and the truth comes to me.

- Albert Einstein

Apparently our "mindless" moments can produce very creative results. I think that's cool. Makes me feel better about needing breaks, ha ha ha. Just sayin' :)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

When you were younger...

Be who you needed when you were younger.

- Unknown

My favourite therapist says that at some point we need to pick up where our parents left off and "parent" ourselves. Hm. We do tend to spend a lot of time thinking about what our parents neglected to do or what they did wrong. I wonder what would happen if we poured that energy into fun and enriching activities? Just sayin' :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Life is messy...

It's all messy.
The hair.
The bed.
The heart...
Life.

- Unknown

My favorite therapist says that none of us do relationships in a tidy, perfect way. There's no such thing. Just sayin' :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Happiness...

When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down 'happy'. They told me I did't understand the assignment, and I told them they didn't understand life.

- John Lennon

Ha ha ha. Seriously though, I think on some level we have to juggle our wants and needs with those around us; parents, partners, friends maybe? It's not easy to do what we want no matter how this affects others. My favourite therapist says it's okay to do things out of duty and obligation, as long as we make the decision consciously, sort of like a donation of our time and energy. Just sayin' :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Genius...

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.

- Albert Einstein

I don't know about you, but this one really hits home. Parents, teachers, managers and partners can make us doubt ourselves, can't they. Apparently one of Frank Sinatra's teachers told him he couldn't sing. Just sayin' :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Wholly alive...

Try as much as possible to be wholly alive, with all your might, and when you laugh, laugh like hell and when you get angry, get good and angry. Try to be alive. You will be dead soon enough.

- William Saroyan

My first thought is that it may be a normal response to tune out or feel numb for a moment as well. As Ekhart Tolle says "do not resist." My favourite therapist says there is important information in each and every one of our responses and the most important thing is to identify what the body/mind/heart are trying to tell us. Are our boundaries being crossed? Is there some action we need to take for our health and well-being? Just sayin' :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

The extra mile...

Go the extra mile... its never crowded.

- Unknown

I was inspired to go the extra mile (in all aspects) after a painful breakup. It is interesting that the most upsetting and difficult experiences in my life have led to the most remarkable and beneficial outcomes. My favourite therapist is bang on. Have your own back and see what happens. (Ps. what does it actually mean to have your own back? For me, it's meant commitmenting to a better personal world; working with a coach/therapist on some long-standing pain points, eating healthier, working smarter and harder, spending more time on personal passions, choosing a more compatible, present and available partner). Just sayin' :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

From within...

To win let the power come from within.

- Hans F Hansen

Do we believe? Many of wise people say this is crucial to our success and/or happiness. Just sayin' :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Stand alone?...

It takes nothing to join the crowd, it takes everything to stand alone.

- Hans F Hansen (professional athlete and coach)

Makes me think all the way back to high school. I do think it takes strength and courage to stand by our thoughts, feelings and opinions. I also think it's possible for others to respect our convictions when we do. Just sayin' :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Our people...

People inspire you, or they drain you - pick them wisely.

- Hans F Hansen (retired football player and manager)

This is easier said than done though isn't it? Some of these people are family and/or long term friends. On the other hand, we only have so much time and energy, so maybe we're entitled to focus on our own health and well-being. Just sayin' :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

To understand...

"Any fool can know. The point is to understand."
"If you can't explain it to a six year old, you don't understand it yourself."
"I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world."
"Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new."
"I have no special talents. I am only passionately curious."

- Albert Einstein

Interesting snapshot of how a genius thinks. I wonder what we could be capable of, if we follow our passion and curiosity? Just sayin' :)

Blesssings,

Chatgirl

Be what they are meant...

when you meet that person. a person.
one of your soulmates. let the
connection. relationship. be what it
is. it may be five mins. five hours. five
days. five months. five years. a
lifetime. five lifetimes. let it manifest
itself the way it is meant to. it has an
organic destiny. this way if it stays or
if it leaves. you will be softer. from
having been loved this authentically.
souls come into. return. open. and
sweep through your life for a myriad
of reasons. let them be who. and what
they are meant.

nayyirah washed

Not so easy to do though. We want to know, don't we. Just sayin' ;) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Endings...

Just because something ends doesn't mean it never should've been. Remember, you lived, you learned, you grew and you moved on.

- Unknown

'Tis the question of regrets. The saying "hindsight is 20-20" comes to mind. I suppose we can only do our best with what we know and feel at the time... and cut ourselves a break every now and again. Just sayin' :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Loving people...

I feel there is nothing more artistic than loving people.

- Vincent Van Gogh

This is very interesting, considering Van Gogh's tragic life story, which includes heart-wrenching mental health issues.Van Gogh was a Dutch impressionist painter who is among the most famous and influential figures in the history of Western art. He was unsuccessful during his lifetime and was considered a failure and a madman. Van Gogh exists in the Public imagination as the quintessential misunderstood genius. He attained widespread critical, commercial and popular success over the ensuing decades, and is now remembered as an important but tragic painter, whose troubled personality typifies the romantic ideal of the tortured artist. Makes you wonder what exactly plagued the man. Just sayin' :)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

The "truth"...

The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.

- Gloria Steinem

A couple of other quotes come to mind as well...

"You can't handle the truth"
"Truth hurts"

Why is it so hard to face up to and accept our more negative qualities and limitations? According to Jungian philosophy, our unconscious mind (or shadow self) tends to consist of some very primitive impulses such as sexual lust, power strivings, selfishness, greed, envy, anger or rage, and because of its unenlightened nature, is completely obscured from our conscious mind. On a positive note, the unconscious mind is supposedly comprised of some good qualities as well, such as appropriate reactions, insights and creative impulses. If we are able to consciously accept and relate to the shadow self, we can summon much creativity and spirituality. This does however require total accountability by the individual and unfortunately, we see much repression, projection and acting out instead. Just sayin' :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Failure...

Failure is unimportant. It takes courage to make a fool of yourself.

- Charlie Chaplin

But we take it to heart though, don't we. Just sayin' :)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

To persist...

We are made to persist. That's how we find out who we are.

- Tobias Wolff, author of In Pharaoh's Army, memoir of his personal experiences in the Vietnam War. Wolf spent a year in Washington, D.C. learning the Vietnamese language and was a trained paratrooper. Wolff writes about the carnage of war, the dramatics of his fellow Americans and the profound effect on his own illusions.

We hit many a speed bump in life, that's for sure. Seems like this is very much a part of the human experience. We may want to give up on things at times. I don't think there's any shame in it and we should give ourselves the choice. If we can summon the energy and courage, however, there's often a silver lining. We may realize we're more capable than we thought and this builds confidence and self-esteem. As they say, necessity is the mother of invention. Just sayin' ;) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl