There are so many cliche sayings, like "you get out what you put in" or "garbage in garbage out." Thing is, unless a sentiment hits home, they're only words. I'm not sure why, but the most significant transformations tend to stem from a personal trajedy or moment of profound pain. I've read that we are moved to great change when someone significant comes into our lives, or when they leave. I had one such experience. For three months I wanted to hide under my covers. Luckily, I did the opposite. I was in bed each night at eight pm for sure (hiding from people), but I did not hide from myself. I read and read and read. I also sought the assistance of three coaches from different walks of life. I had made a decision. No more "wrong" relationships. No more settling. No more denying of my deepest truths. No more jamming the square peg into the round hole. I finally understood that in order to live with someone in romantic happiness, there needs to be a match up of the most important aspects of life; mutual attraction, common lifestyle choices (I believe in a critical mass of commonality, otherwise you begin to live separate lives), common beliefs and values, mutual like (otherwise you make faces behind each others' backs and then you eventually snipe at each other in front of your friends and family. Embarrassing for everyone). There are more, but I think this list has the makings of a solid foundation. In summary, I followed my favourite therapists advice and started having my own back, all the way. This means being honest about who we are, what we need and want and standing by our values and beliefs no matter what. Even if it means losing the hot guy. Just sayin'
Blessings,
Chatgirl
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