The Peace First Theory…

That not everything you walk away from is a loss - sometimes it’s protection. You’re allowed to leave conversations, places, and people that disrupt your peace. Choosing quiet over chaos isn’t weakness. It’s self-respect. 

— Unknown 

I don’t know about you, but I’ve struggled with some of my long term relationships. Probably because they’re filled with lovely, meaningful times, but also upsetting, disruptive moments. In the end, most of those relationships have fallen off. I’ve mourned them. But I’ve also felt a sense of relief and calm. Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Thoughts aren’t always true…

Overthinking? Read this:

• Your thoughts are loud, but they’re not always true.
• Most of your stress comes from living in your head.
• Stop replaying the past—it’s done.
• Stop fast-forwarding the future—it hasn’t happened.
• Peace is found in this one moment.
• Take a deep breath. That’s presence.
• You don’t have to fix everything right now. 
• Let life be what it is, not what you expect.
• Not every thought needs your attention.
• You can feel things without reacting to them.
• The now is the only place you can actually live.
• You miss life when you’re always in your head.
• Being present doesn’t mean perfect—it means aware.
• No moment is ever wrong. It just is.
• You don’t need all the answers. Just awareness.
• The more still you become, the clearer life feels.
• Let go of the need to control everything.
• What you resist will only grow louder.
• Just be here. That’s more than enough.
• Sometimes the best thing you can do is nothing at all.

— from The Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle 

I haven’t read The Power of Now in a while, and this is a great refresher. I don’t know about you, but I seem to need reminders to stay in the moment, breathe, and just be. I definitely worry about things. Therapy, Craniosacral Therapy and writing really help with calming and grounding. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs and good luck. XO 

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

 

Calming the nervous system…

Your nervous system will feel naturally calmer when you:

• Spend more time with the right people
• Allow yourself to rest without guilt
• Make your body feel safe (tapping/affirmations)
• Take some deep breaths (shallow breaths trick the nervous system that you’re in fight/flight)
• Offer yourself compassion over judgment
• Less staring at a screen (locked eyes trick the nervous system that you’re in a a stress response)
• Lean into self-forgiveness
• Laugh
• Walk in nature
• Accept your humanness 

— @h.e.l.e.n.m.a.r.i.e.

I’ve found a number of these techniques helpful, for sure. But for me, Craniosacral Therapy, Body Talk, and traditional therapy have been even better, because you can get to some root causes, and calm things down in a more permanent way. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Don’t have to’s…

One Thing

I came to peace with in 2025 is that ‘I don’t have to.’

I don’t have to go out of my way.

I don’t have to be the bigger person.

I don’t have to fix anything I didn’t break.

I don’t have to support those who don’t support me.

I don’t have to try to make everyone happy.

I don’t have to explain myself to anyone. 

And I don’t have to keep people in my life who don’t bring me peace.

— Unknown 

I’ve been learning this lesson for a while now. My favourite therapist says we should really ponder duty and obligation, and only do what we have the energy and emotional capacity to do. Even when it comes to family. I had questions around healthy, self first or selfish? My therapist assured me that if I declined in order to take care of myself (i.e. I’m so sorry, but I seem to have a real lack of energy today), that people would be understanding. For the most part it’s gone well. Just sayin’ ; ) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

 

Having your own back…

Who betrays you once, will betray you a thousand times. There is no need to drink the whole sea to realize that it’s salty…

— Unknown 

I learned about “having one’s own back” pretty late in life, unfortunately. And that means I made far too many compromises, out of duty and obligation, setting aside what was best for my well being and happiness. It wasn’t easy making some of these changes either. Putting yourself first can read as selfish, and maybe even rude or unkind, to others. Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Suffering part of the human condition…

The foundation of all mental illness is the unwillingness to experience legitimate suffering.

— Carl Gustav Jung (One of the most influential psychologists of the early 20th century, and of all time. Interestingly, Jung is considered a “godparent” of Alcoholics Anonymous, and he held the conviction that alcoholics may recover if they have a “vital spiritual (or religious) experience.” Jung’s interest in philosophy and spirituality led many to call him a mystic, but he preferred to be seen as a man of science. Jung developed major analytical concepts, such as archetypes - the psyche, aspects of unconsciousness, extraversion-introversion, individuation, interpersonal relationships, persona, shadow, self, synchronicity). 

My favourite therapist says it’s counter-intuitive, but that going toward our suffering is the way through. We tend to avoid acknowledging and feeling certain emotions. But critical information is often uncovered, allowing for the healthy processing and resolution of troublesome issues. In my experience, facing up to the scary stuff has been life changing. My favourite therapist also believes that some sort of spiritual practice is quite critical in dealing with life’s burdens. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

The real luxuries in life…

Time

Health

A quiet mind

Slow mornings

Ability to travel

Rest without guilt

A good night’s sleep

Calm and “boring” days

Meaningful conversations

Home-cooked meals 

People you love

People who love you back

— Unknown 

I feel this is a somewhat older person’s list, but I’m down for it. When I was younger, it was all about fun, excitement, romance, climbing the corporate ladder, trying to become and entrepreneur and fun new experiences. But now, after divorce, near bankruptcy (due to the financial crisis of 2008), a blended family to navigate (which we’re all managing brilliantly, but requires compromise), plodding on in a corporate job that expects more and more, with less compensation, and a health crisis to boot, there’s a sharp reality. You look at your life, and what’s going on in the world with perhaps a bit less hope than you felt at the start line. Now, I remain a glass half-full girl, so I’ll go out by saying that life is still gorgeous, when you embrace the sweetness in your world. But Lordy, one certainly needs to allow for the inevitable curve balls. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl