Betraying yourself?…

When I look back, I’m stunned by how much I accepted just to keep people in my life - the silence, the disrespect, the one-sided effort. I stayed quiet to avoid conflict, dimmed myself to make others comfortable. That version of me is gone. I’ve learned that losing people who don’t value me is not a loss - it’s freedom. I’ll never betray myself like that again.

— Unknown 

I don’t think people under valued me necessarily. I think I was too accommodating and enabling. I’ve also come to realize that some people are limited and unwilling and/or unable to take responsibility for their actions, which leaves a one way street. If both people are accountable, and engage in healthy conversations, relationships can grow and thrive. It’s never too late to establish good boundaries and I’m glad I’ve finally said “no” to damaging and disrespectful behaviour. Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Silently causing hair trigger reactions…

Healing has taught me that honesty pays. Speaking about your feelings won’t lose you anything worth having. Setting boundaries won’t scare off people who are meant to be in your life and being your true self won’t cost you genuine relationships.

— Unknown 

What I’ve learned about healing is that there are many layers, and some surprisingly deep roots. Much of what ails us sits in the unconscious, silently causing hair trigger reactions and hurt feelings. As my favourite therapist says, intensive emotional work isn’t for the faint of heart because it requires some reliving of the yucky past. But I’ve found this sort of work immensely freeing. AND, your relationships tend to improve as well, which is a huge bonus. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Out of your control, out of mind?…

• Ambition without action becomes anxiety
• The most dangerous addiction is the approval of other people
• You teach people how to treat you by what you tolerate
• Your worth isn’t tied to your productivity
• “No” is a complete sentence. You don’t have to justify yourself
• Vera Wang designed her first dress at age 40–it’s never too late to start
• If it costs your your peace, it’s too expensive
• Action creates motivation—not the other way around
• Be addicted to your passions, not your distractions
• If it’s out of your control, it deserves to be out of your mind
• It’s better to admit you walked through the wrong door than spend your life in the wrong room

— Colby Kultgen and Jay Yang 

My favourite therapist says finding greater peace and happiness may require an adjustment to our priorities. What really matters? Because focusing on money, buying things and working tends to keep the treadmill running, and no amount of money and/or success is ever enough. In his humble opinion, we should focus on our heart, spirit, soul’s desires. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Cleaning up messes you didn’t make?…

You should never be expected to be the bigger person when you didn’t create the discomfort in the first place. Too many people cause the chaos, cross the line, then want you to swallow your feelings just to keep the peace. Nah. Accountability matters. Being mature doesn’t mean accepting disrespect or cleaning up messes you didn’t make. Sometimes protecting your peace means standing firm and letting folks sit in the consequences of what they caused. 

— Unknown 

I have taken the high road too often. Fortunately, extensive therapy has helped me recognize this pattern as an enabling, coping mechanism. In order to have my own back, I’ve had to minimize time around people who are not accountable for damaging actions. I’ve needed to lose certain people, and that sucks, but I’ve certainly found more peace and calm. Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Peace more important than a piece of your mind?…

Endings

don’t require drama or toxic behaviours. You can end something because it’s not what you want, it doesn’t fit where you’re going, you’re tired of trying to make it work, your needs have changed, or you can no longer accept what is happening. You don’t have to wait for a major offence to let things go. It’s okay to bow out gracefully. Sometimes peace is more important than giving someone a piece of your mind.

— Nedra Tawwab  

As I get older, peace becomes more and more important. Priorities change, and sources of stress become clearer. Just sayin’ ; ) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

The Peace First Theory…

That not everything you walk away from is a loss - sometimes it’s protection. You’re allowed to leave conversations, places, and people that disrupt your peace. Choosing quiet over chaos isn’t weakness. It’s self-respect. 

— Unknown 

I don’t know about you, but I’ve struggled with some of my long term relationships. Probably because they’re filled with lovely, meaningful times, but also upsetting, disruptive moments. In the end, most of those relationships have fallen off. I’ve mourned them. But I’ve also felt a sense of relief and calm. Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Thoughts aren’t always true…

Overthinking? Read this:

• Your thoughts are loud, but they’re not always true.
• Most of your stress comes from living in your head.
• Stop replaying the past—it’s done.
• Stop fast-forwarding the future—it hasn’t happened.
• Peace is found in this one moment.
• Take a deep breath. That’s presence.
• You don’t have to fix everything right now. 
• Let life be what it is, not what you expect.
• Not every thought needs your attention.
• You can feel things without reacting to them.
• The now is the only place you can actually live.
• You miss life when you’re always in your head.
• Being present doesn’t mean perfect—it means aware.
• No moment is ever wrong. It just is.
• You don’t need all the answers. Just awareness.
• The more still you become, the clearer life feels.
• Let go of the need to control everything.
• What you resist will only grow louder.
• Just be here. That’s more than enough.
• Sometimes the best thing you can do is nothing at all.

— from The Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle 

I haven’t read The Power of Now in a while, and this is a great refresher. I don’t know about you, but I seem to need reminders to stay in the moment, breathe, and just be. I definitely worry about things. Therapy, Craniosacral Therapy and writing really help with calming and grounding. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs and good luck. XO 

Blessings,

Chatgirl