The healthiest people regulate their own nervous system instead of making you responsible for their mood. They can sit with discomfort without lashing out, talk about what’s wrong without turning it into a war, and hold their healing without weaponizing their wounds. They take responsibility for how they show up, even on bad days. They know the difference between sharing a burden and dumping it. They don’t make love conditional on you managing their triggers. They create safety without demanding control. Because love isn’t about finding someone to carry our chaos, it’s about finding someone who carries their own.
— Anonymous
I’m starting to comprehend the difference between knowing something intellectually, and embodying it. It’s fascinating to me that we can hear something, think we understand the concept, and yet not evolve. For example, I’ve had a tendency to over-give. In fact, I’ve taken great pride in my kindness and generosity, knowing that this is the kind of person I choose to be, and want to be. But inevitably, the bill comes due in my close relationships. I find myself depleted and frustrated with others’ lack of reciprocity. I’ve begun to pull back, in a sound way (with the nudge of a health crisis and my therapist’s guidance), and I’ve taken responsibility for my end in things. And go figure, others have come forward in a beautiful way. I’ve learned that some of these habitual behaviours are actually long standing, childhood coping mechanisms. Most likely, we are unaware of these operating systems, and don’t realize that we have the power to choose differently. I find the whole discussion intriguing. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs and good luck. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
