Depression, the soul’s way of rejecting the life we’re living?…

My therapist told me that

“There’s a theory that depression is sometimes the soul’s way of rejecting the life you’re forcing yourself to live. It’s not failure.. It’s misalignment. Your spirit shuts down when you’re too far from your purpose, people, or path.” And then it all made sense. 

— @deepmindsanonymous

So what happens when you grow up in a household you find unbearable, toxic and unsafe?… That would be my scenario. And that would explain the need for therapy, group therapy, deep healing workshops, re-birthing, EMDR, Body Talk & Craniosacral Therapy etc.! In my parents’ defence, apparently 50% of us have challenging family dynamics, and 8% of us are completely estranged. Still, we’re left to pick up the  pieces, aren’t we. Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl  

Life will never be free of uncertainty…

My therapist told me:

If your peace depends on everything going right, that’s not peace - that’s control. Life will never be free of uncertainty, and trying to control it all only leaves you anxious and exhausted. 

Real growth is learning to let go of control, to stay steady even when things are unsettled. 

That’s where peace actually begins. 

— Unknown 

A lesson I continue to learn and embrace each day. I’ve been through a number of very trying, lengthy obstacles (divorce, a heart breaking betrayal, near bankruptcy, a damaging boss, death of both parents, and presently, a scary health diagnosis). Fortunately, with traditional therapy and Craniosacral Therapy (central nervous system support), I have some very helpful tools to assist with the fear and unknown. Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Becoming triggered isn’t a choice…

“Why can’t I get over it or just let it go?”

Responses of the nervous system happen below the level of conscious awareness, in the survival brain. Becoming anxious, triggered or shutting down isn’t something you’re choosing — it happens automatically and instantly. If something feels familiar to a previous trauma, your physiology will move you into a state of fight, flight or freeze. You can’t talk yourself out of it or be more positive, capable, or strong to change it. It’s not your fault.

— Unknown 

With therapy and relationship skills/deep healing workshops , I’ve been able to significantly smooth over some of my triggers. Life is simply better without these unconscious pain points silently running the show. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Hearing doesn’t necessarily mean understanding…

I used to think communication was everything, until I realized understanding is.

You can talk all you want, but if the other person doesn’t truly hear you, it’s just noise.

— Unknown 

This sums up my marriage breakdown. Despite significant profession help (two different therapists!), we were unable to understand each other well enough to resolve our issues. When we would recount a story/recent breakdown, the therapists would tell us that one version was white and the other black. Zero ability to reconcile. We parted on very good terms actually, realizing that we just didn’t have a solid foundation to work with. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Big reactions an echo of the times you had to stay small…

My therapist says

A lot of explosive emotional reactions aren’t actually about the present moment. They’re the echo of all the times your body had to stay quiet, stay small, or stay safe instead of expressing yourself.

— Anonymous

This really resonates for me. My father was strict and dictatorial, offering us kids little to no space for self expression. For me, this led to a lack of healthy communication in relationships. I would go quiet as a rule, which is most unhelpful. Fortunately, I’ve always been a curious person and I believe in ongoing learning. Therapy and therapist led relationship seminars have been a live saver. This kind of “work” offered such a safe space to learn healthy relationship skills and led to the perfect love of my life. Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

What you don’t maintain, you lose…

There is a Japanese Legend that says:

“Whether it’s a machine, a house, or a relationship, maintenance is always cheaper than repairing.”

What you don’t maintain, you eventually lose. 

— Unknown 

Mental health has been the most critical maintenance in my life. And thank goodness because when the tough times come, you just hope you’ve cultivated the strength, courage and support system to deal. (I say this as I navigate the scary world of cancer. My prognosis just took a hit, and the tools and support I’ve acquired along the way are holding me together. Wish me luck!). Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Winning tips from Neuroscience…

According to Neuroscience, if you repeat these 3 phrases each morning, you will start to rewire your brain to become more positive, confident and grateful. 

1)” Show me how good today gets” - This activates your brain’s R.A.S to notice more opportunities.

2) “I’m grateful for…” - Gratitude increases dopamine, shifting your nervous system into a more regulated, positive state. 

3) “I can handle anything that comes my way today.” - This builds self efficacy and reduces the threat response to your brain.

— @edgaralandough/X - Raising Your Frequency

I’ve been working with gratitude for a while, and I do find it lifts my mood. I tell myself I can handle what comes my way sometimes, but I’d like to lean into this because I know it makes me feel comforted, and more capable and strong. I haven’t focused on thinking about how good life can get each day, but it’s clearly better than worrying. Great tips! Just sayin’ ;) Hugs and good luck. 

Blessings,

Chatgirl