Mindset an underrated life tool…

Exercise is the most underused antidepressant.

Food is the most abused anxiety drug.

Sunlight is the most overlooked happy pill. 

Sleep is the most under appreciated healer. 

Mindset is the most underrated life tool. 

— Unknown 

It sounds easy enough. But in my experience, an altered mindset can require professional help. To get out of my own way, I needed to offload some problematic baggage. For example, I used to find my intelligence insulted rather frequently. I did not like being told what to do. Period. In therapy, all roads led to a controlling father, who used to say “ You’re completely missing the point” to pretty much anything and everything I had to say. Being shut down to this extend left an enduring Achilles Heal. So when questioned, my rather large trigger would be tripped. Thankfully, and I’m proud to say, my favourite therapist helped me land on curiosity. Listening, instead of being defensive, is my biggest mindset shift, and I believe I’ve found success, financial security and probably the love of my life because of it. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs and good luck. XO 

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Believe in miracles?…

Any time you look at yourself with critical eyes, switch your focus immediately to the presence within, and its perfection will reveal itself to you. As you do this, all imperfections that have manifested in your life will dissolve, because imperfections cannot exist in the light of this presence. Whether you want to regain perfect eyesight, dissolve disease and restore well-being, turn poverty into abundance, reverse aging and degeneration, or eradicate any negativity, focus on and love the presence within you and perfection will manifest. 

— excerpt from The Secret 

I find mindset and one’s approach to stress a worthy subject matter. I’ve resorted to low expectations from time to time, to avoid being blind sided. For example, I’m dealing with a serious health scare right now, and there have been numerous mini-escalations. Fortunately, things are looking up and I should be okay. But being realistic and aware of a potential worst case scenario, helped us cope this time around. Having said that, a focus on low expectations runs very counter to my hard wired optimism and drive. I also realize that being positive is my go to coping strategy. The book The Secret gives me a bit of a boost to be honest. Fantasizing about dream scenarios and even a miracle or two makes me giddy. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Crazy in love or calm in love?…

Once you grow up, you realize you don’t want to be crazy in love. 

You want to be calm in love, stable in love, patient in love, understood in love, safe in love.

Your partner should give you peace of mind and reassurance, not constant little heart attacks and high anxiety.

— @emilyvonstrasser 

Gosh, I wish I could tell my younger self, Lol. I thought the butterflies and excitement meant love. Turns out, that’s just chemistry and attraction, and not necessarily legit love. In my defence, I did not learn about unconditional love in my family of origin. Luckily I found an incredible therapist, who has helped me understand what it takes to create and maintain a worthy love relationship. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

The right person…

At your very best, you still won’t be good enough for the wrong person, but at your absolute worst, you’ll still be worth it to the right person.

— Unknown 

Irreconcilable differences, that’s all I can say. I finally learned to spot my deal breakers, thanks to my favourite therapist. Just sayin ; ) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Joy doesn’t have to be expensive…

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but start living. The days are flying by, and all you do is work, pay bills, and stress. Enjoy what you can… walks, sunsets, music, laughter. Joy doesn’t have to be expensive. You deserve it.

— Unknown 

I think the pandemic allowed my partner and I to find low cost fun; dancing and listening to music at home, playing cards, grabbing inexpensive food and having a picnic in the park, or even in the car on rainy days, kind of like a drive in movie, drinks with friends in the park. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Betraying yourself?…

When I look back, I’m stunned by how much I accepted just to keep people in my life - the silence, the disrespect, the one-sided effort. I stayed quiet to avoid conflict, dimmed myself to make others comfortable. That version of me is gone. I’ve learned that losing people who don’t value me is not a loss - it’s freedom. I’ll never betray myself like that again.

— Unknown 

I don’t think people under valued me necessarily. I think I was too accommodating and enabling. I’ve also come to realize that some people are limited and unwilling and/or unable to take responsibility for their actions, which leaves a one way street. If both people are accountable, and engage in healthy conversations, relationships can grow and thrive. It’s never too late to establish good boundaries and I’m glad I’ve finally said “no” to damaging and disrespectful behaviour. Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Silently causing hair trigger reactions…

Healing has taught me that honesty pays. Speaking about your feelings won’t lose you anything worth having. Setting boundaries won’t scare off people who are meant to be in your life and being your true self won’t cost you genuine relationships.

— Unknown 

What I’ve learned about healing is that there are many layers, and some surprisingly deep roots. Much of what ails us sits in the unconscious, silently causing hair trigger reactions and hurt feelings. As my favourite therapist says, intensive emotional work isn’t for the faint of heart because it requires some reliving of the yucky past. But I’ve found this sort of work immensely freeing. AND, your relationships tend to improve as well, which is a huge bonus. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl