Let's get serious...

So the question comes up a lot ... why do such bad things happen in the world? More importantly, why do bad things happen to us and why don't things go our way ? Why do we get hurt so? Well..... all I can say is this - when life turns us into a walking emotional ache, things change. This is all invisible of course (or maybe not as much as we would like to think), but some of the most painful experiences really can crack us wide open. And then who knows? Sky's the limit? Because all bets are off. The worst thing we could imagine happened and we're still putting one foot in front of the other. There's something raw, beautiful and unabashed about being screwed over. It's like being given free license to be all new, try different things and reconsider our views of life - a do-over, if you will.

Personally speaking, it's been almost a year since the sudden and shocking betrayal that turned me into emotional "pink dust" ... (that's when a human being is blown up by a bomb, if you haven't heard the expression). The processing of hurt seems to have a life and time frame of it's own and we can't really see our rebounding in motion...  but make no mistake, rebound we will. The psyche seems to process unconsciously and involuntarily - and for as long as it needs to until the experience can be digested and parcelled safely into the recesses of our long term memory (I look forward to that day!). I brace myself for the hangover of unwanted thoughts/visuals/angst because they linger like a bad odor.... compliments of my most annoying break up (because it unfolded in a way that seems so unnecessarily cloak and dagger and unkind to me). The silver lining in all of this seems to be a breaking of the mold ... and somehow, perplexing as it seems, there's more love available. That seems so counter-intuitive to me, but no question, I feel more open. I feel more present and more able to feel love in general - not just romantic love, but love of life, people, nature, whatever. Now that's a hell of a great result and well worth the pain of a "bad" experience. Along with the new and improved ability to love, there's less fear;) and that ain't bad;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl