It's one thing to be betrayed and it's a whole other thing to have to put it all together yourself because your now ex-dude isn't/wasn't willing to be honest about what went down. Playing private dick because something stinks is to take on certain death by a thousand paper cuts (like the foreign piece of pink toe nail on your side of the bed or the empty can of cider you just bought and haven't touched yet... and knowing that "she"drinks that cider as well. Ouch and double ouch!).
Personally speaking, I knew something was off in the final stretch of my last relationship. The shitty truth is that I was needing out in a big way - and, totally my bad, I put off the dirty work and kept putting it off until it really bit me. Moral of the story is to deal with what needs to be dealt with before it deals with you! It would be easy to sit in blame and trust me, I'm heaping a fair share onto the betrayer... but I also know for certain that I need to own my role in this story. I had been falling out of this commitment for some time, but sat idling, grasping at the flimsiest of reasons to stay. I just couldn't seem to force myself through the motions of getting out. I would imagine the old ex was going through the same thing (although if I had fallen in love with someone else, I believe I would have had the kindness and consideration to set my live-in partner free!). Bitterness is a totally understandable response (so I'm forgiving myself a small ounce of that, Lol;)), and overcoming the hurt of a betrayal is clearly a process, but how great would it be to use these sour emotions as the fuel to strive for greater richness and passion in our love lives?.... because looking back, I challenge myself with the question "why did I not leave for the promise of something better, brighter, more vibrant, more passionate?" Just sayin;) Hugs.
Blessings,
Chatgirl
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