- They move on. The don’t waste time feeling sorry for themselves.
- They embrace change. They welcome challenges.
- They stay happy. They don’t waste energy on things they cannot control.
- They are kind, fair, and unafraid to speak up.
- They are willing to take calculated risks.
- They celebrate other people’s success. They don’t resent that success.
Sunday, June 15, 2025
Things mentally strong people do…
Friday, June 13, 2025
Life is not a fairy tale…
Most difficult yet comforting things to accept about life
- Everyone is insecure about something. It’s not just you.
- You will never be 100% sure about decisions you made. But always make a decision because it’s better to go back and fix it than to never make it at all.
- There is always someone better than you. So there’s not point to compare.
- There’s nothing in life you can really control except your own thoughts and actions. So always hope for the best and prepare for the worst.
- Nothings lasts forever. Things change. People change. And YOU can change anytime too.
- Life is not a fairy tale. That’s why it’s always exciting and you’ll never be bored.
- Hard work doesn’t guarantee success. But that’s what makes it challenging.
Sunday, June 8, 2025
Hugging is communication…
Hugging is
The most beautiful form of communication
that allows the other person to know
beyond a doubt
that they matter.
— AnxiousAndy
Here here. Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Saturday, June 7, 2025
Emotional maturity looks like…
- Not engaging in conversations with people who are committed to misunderstanding you.
- Disengaging from other people’s drama.
- Not playing other people’s games.
- Not having to share your side of the story.
- Seeing the part you may play in situations.
- Learning that everyone has their own lens.
- Learning not to take things personally.
- Pausing before responding.
- Knowing that actions speak louder than words.
- Taking responsibility for your own life & choices.
Friday, June 6, 2025
Dreams reveal our emotional truth…
- The happier you are the less sleep you require to function in every day life. Sadness increases the urge to sleep.
- Dreams reveal feelings that we’ve hidden or repressed because dreams are a reflection of our unconscious mind, our emotional truth.
- The unhappiest people in the world are the ones who care what everyone thinks about them.
- By thinking one positive thought every morning, you can psychologically trick your brain into being a happier person.
- Walking increases brain activity.
- Intelligent people are more likely to avoid conflict, which explains why some people notice everything but choose to say nothing.
Monday, June 2, 2025
Being happy doesn’t mean you have it all…
Remember, being happy doesn’t mean you have it all.
It simply means you’re thankful for all you have.
— Unknown
I can certainly fall into the trap of wanting bigger (closet space, Lol!), better (business class anyone?), more (longer warm vacations!). But I also need to remind myself to appreciate and enjoy the lifestyle I already have, which is pretty comfortable. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs and good luck. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Sunday, June 1, 2025
Some people are human medicine…
Some people are human medicine.
You spend an hour with them and everything feels better.
— Unknown
We should spend more time around such people, right? And be someone who offers the same in kind (feel good, positive, calm, present, great listener?). Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Saturday, May 31, 2025
Things that exist, but you can’t see…
- All the compliments that people have thought of you but never shared.
- Your tiny cells fighting together to keep you alive.
- How proud little you would be of the person you’ve become.
- You showing up in others’ dreams.
- Your endless potential and power to create whatever your heart desires.
- People thinking of you and smiling.
- How much you’ve already healed.
Thursday, May 29, 2025
Life changes…
Wednesday, May 28, 2025
Some things you won’t get over…
There will be some things you won’t get over.
Monday, May 26, 2025
Time doesn’t heal…
Time doesn’t heal all wounds, it just gives them some space to sink into the subconscious where they still impact your emotions and behaviours. What heals is going inward, loving yourself, accepting yourself, listening to your needs, addressing your attachments and emotional history, and learning how to let go and follow your intuition.
— Yung Pueblo (Diego Perez is a Mediator and # 1 New York Times bestselling author, who goes by the pen name Yung Pueblo. He has an online following of 4 million, and has sold over 1.5 million books. His focus is on the power of self-healing and creating healthy relationships).
My favourite therapist says relationships are a great litmus test for how we’re doing emotionally because loved ones tend to get under our skin and trigger unresolved emotional issues. And this actually presents an opportunity to address our baggage, and evolve toward healthier relationships. Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Sunday, May 25, 2025
When have I felt betrayed?…
Shadow Work: Journal prompts
- What’s the biggest lie I tell myself consistently?
- When am I the hardest on myself and why? Where does it stem from?
- When have I felt betrayed? What would I say to that person who broke my trust?
- What makes me feel the most jealous?
- What’s one trait I see in other people I wish I had?
- What traits do my parents have that I hope I don’t?
- What are my most toxic traits and how do I project them onto others?
- When I think about the future, what am I most afraid of?
- When was the last time I forgave myself?
- What does happiness mean to me?
Saturday, May 24, 2025
A beautiful life is designed and built with intent…
A beautiful life does not just happen. A beautiful life is selected, it is designed. It is built with a fiery intent to find joy in every little thing. It is how you fold your sheets and take your coffee in the morning. It is what you look forward to, it’s what you plan. It’s how you set your things throughout your space. We think that our greatest happiness comes spontaneously, but we often find our greatest joy in our rhythms, our routines, when we settle into a way of being that lights up every part of who we are. A beautiful life is one that reflects exactly who we are, in every way we can.
— Brianna Wiest, Power of Wordz/ig
Another thing I figured out far too late in life, Lol. But seriously, with professional help (a traditional therapist and a life coach/energy work/osteopath), I learned how to be very honest, and accept myself for who I am, and embrace the things I enjoy doing. And I thought, if that makes me not outdoorsy enough (because I don’t like hiking or kayaking, in a city of people who love that sort of thing), or not cultured enough (because I’m bored in museums and I don’t like the ballet or opera), then so be it. I realized I was just done doing things I don’t enjoy (like cycling around a small, mostly deserted island! Because I’m a city girl who likes movies, intimate concerts, hockey games, bars, restaurants and shopping). Once I became clear on the life I want to lead, my perfect partner showed up. And the perfect job too! Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Friday, May 23, 2025
You cannot heal what you cannot feel…
Thursday, May 22, 2025
Remove yourself…
Something or someone makes you uncomfortable? Remove yourself.
You’re being placed in an unfair situation? Remove yourself.
In a one sided friendship or relationship? Remove yourself.
Is something causing your peace to be disrupted? Remove yourself.
Remember you don’t owe a single person an explanation. You have the power to remove yourself, block, disengage, and live your life without looking back.
Let others interpret it however they want. If it’s what’s best for you, nothing else matters.
— Unknown
I learned this lesson waaaaay too late in life. I stayed in relationships, jobs and friendships far too long. I know I’m not alone in resisting change, but if I could go back in time, knowing what I know now, I would embrace change. Remaining stuck in something that’s not, in truth, working, is so much more tedious. And then you have the potentially crappy endings too, when you don’t leave on your own terms. Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Wednesday, May 21, 2025
To protect your energy…
Tuesday, May 20, 2025
Uncommon advice…
Monday, May 19, 2025
Distancing from unhealthy energy…
Distancing yourself from people who give you negative vibes or unhealthy energy is self-care. Stepping back from situations where you feel unappreciated or disrespected is self-care. Choose to honour your feelings and boundaries, respectfully and gracefully.
— Marc and Angel Chernoff, (Known for their Power of Wordz personal development blog, Marc and Angel believe words have the power to heal, inspire and uplift others. They encourage mindful communication, using compassion and kindness to improve the lives of those around us.)
I don’t know about you, but I experienced the opposite growing up. My favourite therapist says that most of us learn about what is NOT love, rather than what love is. I came away with some great intellectual tools, and I certainly learned how to think for myself. But boundaries, empathy and compassion were sorely missing. There was no modelling of healthy communication. Just a lot of anger and hurt feelings. Needless to say, I didn’t manage to attract and/or hold onto great relationships… until I took matters into my own hands and learned about boundaries and productive, relationship building communication. Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Sunday, May 18, 2025
It is okay…
The biggest lesson I’ve learned is:
It is okay.
Saturday, May 17, 2025
Things that can be true at the same time…
- Your parents did the best they could, AND their choices wounded you.
- You love someone AND you know it’s not healthy to keep them in your life.
- You’re terrified to take the next step AND you know it’s the right thing to do.
- You want to have healthy relationships AND unresolved trauma is making it difficult.
- You’re afraid to fail AND you believe in yourself.
Friday, May 16, 2025
Conserve your energy…
Don’t entertain negative energy. Some situations will test your patience and try to make you overreact, overthink, and respond to things that don’t deserve your life force. Your attention is your power. Don’t feed what doesn’t add value to your life. Conserve your energy.
— Unknown
I remember reading a great article about coping strategies, and how some of us rely on a glass-half-full mentality to calm ourselves and maintain hope, where others prefer a more “realistic” mindset, so they’re not disappointed. I’ve just always felt better envisioning joyful outcomes. I know things don’t work out sometimes, and I’m prepared to deal with that, but I don’t want to spend a moment longer than necessary thinking about yucky stuff. I’m also spiritual and believe in co-creating one’s reality; being clear on what you want, setting goals, planning and preparing for your dreams and taking action where possible. It’s certainly worked for me over the years, having found both my ideal partner and the perfect job. Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Saturday, May 10, 2025
Habits with the highest rate of return in life…
Friday, May 9, 2025
Ask for it…
Ask for healing, clarity, peace, wisdom, and guidance. Ask for abundance, creativity, light and love. Don’t be timid in your prayers or your request. Be bold. Be positive. Be grateful as everything you’re asking for is already making its way to you.
— Unknown (via @Law.of.Attraction1111)
When I was going through my bad break up, I read a ton of books, with one standing above the rest. Ask and It Is Given, by Esther and Jerry Hicks, became my lifeline. The teachings helped me focus on and clarify what I wanted, which strengthened my inner resolve. I’ve always been a positive, glass-half-full person, but I achieved a better mental and emotional foundation, by incorporating many of the teachings into my morning writing ritual. Most of my dreams have since come true, and I continue to be proactive in manifesting my ultimate dream life. Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Thursday, May 8, 2025
How people make you feel…
People that love you, care about how they make you feel.
The end.
— Unknown
This is a very interesting discussion. On the surface, I agree. And I spent far too much time around people who made me feel bad (including some family). But after spending years in therapy and in relationship skills/group therapy workshops, I also know it’s not that simple. We can be boxed in my upbringing. We can box people out because of upbringing. We can rely on outdated coping mechanisms because of upbringing. And all of these things can prevent us from loving others (and ourselves) properly. For example, I used to go pretty silent and sort of paralyzed when I felt hurt, which is the most unhelpful thing ever for a relationship. And so I needed to learn, and did learn fortunately, how to articulate what was going on for me, and make requests on my behalf. What a game changer for your partner and for the health and happiness of your relationship(s). Just sayin’ ;) Hugs and good luck. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Sunday, May 4, 2025
This need for certainty that we all have…
Rather than
trying to know and figure it all out, live in the curiosity of it all. You don’t have to know where you’ll be a year from now, you don’t even have to know what you’ll be doing a month from now. Move away from this need for certainty that we all have, and move toward the curiosity that we all need. Just be. Live in the moment with every bit of your life force, and enjoy the gift of the present. The treasures of your life will present themselves to you only if you really are open to them.
— Robin Sharma
I don’t know about you, but I felt lighter reading this. We can’t predict what’s going to happen, and worrying is down right exhausting. Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Saturday, May 3, 2025
Respond, don’t react…
When you react to something someone says or does, you may have a problem with boundaries. If someone is able to cause havoc by doing or saying something, she is in control of you at that point and your boundaries are lost.
When you respond, you remain in control with options and choices. If you feel yourself reacting, step away and regain control of yourself so family members can’t force you to do or say something you do not want to do or say; and something that violates your separateness.
When you have kept your boundaries, choose the best option. The difference between responding and reacting is choice. When you are reacting, they are in control. When you respond, you are.
— Dr Henry Cloud and Dr Joh Townsend (Book: Boundaries)
For me, establishing healthy boundaries and learning to respond, rather than react, took therapy. Much therapy. And relationship skills education. I simply didn’t learn this stuff at home. I also had certain hot buttons, due to unresolved emotional trauma from the past (For example, my father was a tyrant who insulted my intelligence regularly). Therapy’s been cool, because now I’m able to listen with curiosity, and an interest in learning, rather than taking everything personally. Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Friday, May 2, 2025
Avoid emotional dumpers?…
Emotional dumping!
1) Is talking about the sample issues over and over again
2) Leaves you feeling drained and overwhelmed
3) Doesn’t show respect for your emotional space
4) If often one-sided and goes on and on
5) Involves getting stuck in a cycle of complaints
6) Leaves no room for solutions or accountability
— @heybobbibanks
Oh man. I’ve faced loads of this over the years. Fortunately, when my mother passed away my tolerance absolutely cratered, and much of this (negativity, complaining and blaming) fell by the way side. I am now surrounded by those focused on health, accountability and a more positive existence. It’s nice. Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Tuesday, April 29, 2025
Wisdom from Pope Francis…
Rivers do not drink their own water; trees do not eat their own fruit; the sun does not shine on itself and flowers do not spread their fragrance for themselves. Living for others is a rule of nature. We are all born to help each other. No matter how difficult it is… Life is good when you are happy; but much better when others are happy because of you.
— Pope Francis
Such a unique and compelling perspective. Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Monday, April 28, 2025
Time does not always need to be filled…
Let yourself rest
If you’re exhausted, rest.
If you don’t feel like starting a new project, don’t.
If you don’t feel the urge to make something new, just rest in the beauty of the old, the familiar, the known.
If you don’t feel like talking, stay silent.
If you’re fed up with the news, turn it off.
If you want to postpone something until tomorrow, do it.
Feel the fullness of the emptiness, the vastness of the silence, the sheer life in your unproductive moments.
Time does not always need to be filled.
You are enough, simply in your being.
— Jeff Foster
With our phones, 24 hour news cycle and endless issues, social media, wow. It really is possible to fill every second. I’m fighting the urge to reach for my phone more and more. I don’t know about you, but I’m tiring of being “on” at this point. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs and good luck. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Tuesday, April 22, 2025
Wash away energy that’s not yours to carry?…
Cleansing mantra
I wash away any energy that is not mine to carry. I release myself from the burdens of the past. I nourish myself in a comforting golden light. I am restored. I am recharged.
— Unknown
I’ve needed professional help to achieve this, Lol. Seriously though, I learned that burdens of the past typically stem from early childhood moments and emotions that we were unable to understand and/or process at the time. We pretty much have to go back and save our little selves, sniff sniff. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs and good luck. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Sunday, April 20, 2025
What needs weren’t met in your childhood?…
How do I reparent myself?
- Ask yourself what needs weren’t met in your childhood and what skills you didn’t learn
- Challenge negative self-talk and unhealthy beliefs and create a healthy, positive and loving view of yourself
- Learn skills that your parents couldn’t teach you — e.g. establishing healthy boundaries, emotional regulation & self-soothing, communication skills, frustration tolerance, routines and structure, accountability, joy & playfulness, trust
- Give yourself the love and compassion that you missed as a child (including self-love, self-compassion, self-awareness, self-confidence)
- Establish meaningful & healthy relationships and a support network
- Be gentle with yourself and take your time
- Practice self-care
- Consider working with a therapist
Saturday, April 19, 2025
When have I felt betrayed?…
Shadow Work: journal prompts
- What’s the biggest lie I tell myself consistently?
- When am I the hardest on myself and why? Where does it stem from?
- When have I felt betrayed? What would I say to that person who broke my trust?
- What makes me feel the most jealous?
- What’s one trait I see in other people I wish I had?
- What traits do my parents have that I hope I don’t?
- What are my most toxic traits and how do I project them onto others?
- When I think about the future, what am I most afraid of?
- When was the last time I forgave myself?
- What does happiness mean to me?
Friday, April 18, 2025
Healing is not for the faint of heart, but it’s worth it…
The healing process is ugly as hell. It’s not bubble baths and aromatherapy. It’s accountability which brings guilt. It’s getting to the root of your issues which is triggering and intense. Processing trauma often means you have to relive it which isn’t easy but it’s worth it.
— PrimitiveRootsConjure.com
I attended my first weekend group therapy seminar at the urging of my partner at the time, and was instantly mesmerized. The therapist, who became my favourite, trusted therapist, opened the weekend with the disclaimer that a weekend session will not change your life. He went on to say deep healing takes time and is not for the faint of heart because you pretty much have to relive trauma in order to truly process and resolve deep rooted issues. Much of the work focuses on early childhood events and emotions, that we are unable to understand or process at the time, and that tend to keep us stuck. I became hooked on therapy, particularly group work, because of the safe space, the camaraderie and support from the other participants, and the osmosis learning from each person in the room. It’s demanding work, but the load is immensely lighter on the other side. Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Wednesday, April 16, 2025
Healing involves healthy grieving…
Ironically, when we start to get better, we also often get sad. Because we start to realize just how much we missed out on, how badly certain people failed us, and what the younger version of us actually deserved. Healing involves healthy grieving. No way around it.
— Unknown
I’ve found that healing involves letting go. Of some important people too. Three or four of my trusted confidants are no longer in my life. This all followed the death of my mother and realizing there are certain things I don’t need to put up with anymore. Interestingly enough, those same people were done with me as well. Looking back, I can see the deal breakers, but I still miss those people. The parts I liked and loved. Complicated grieving. Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Tuesday, April 15, 2025
Once you know who you really are…
Once you know who you really are, being is enough. You feel neither superior to anyone nor inferior to anyone and you have no need for approval because you’ve awakened to your own infinite worth.
— Deepak Chopra
I must admit I’ve been in a bit of a funk since my mother died. The relationship was complicated, and what she did with her will/finances left my sister and I feeling like step sisters. Yuck. It’s one thing to lose a parent and it’s another thing feel abandoned (and punched in the kidneys) as a conclusion. Needless to say, I’m going back to individual/relationship school with my favourite therapist. He conducts these intense year long, deep healing seminars (where you give up 6 weekends throughout the year, go to weekly support groups and pick a buddy for the duration). I’ve done these seminars in the past, and although the work can be gut wrenching, there is mental/emotional freedom on the other side. I’m confident that I’ll be able to settle into myself again, and even more so. Can’t wait! Just sayin’ ;) Hugs and good luck. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Sunday, April 13, 2025
Is fear holding you back?…
The paradox of transformation
As you embrace the parts of you that are scared & blocked, you fall into greater alignment with where you truthfully are & become more capable of transformation.
Instead of looking for your worth hustling for achievement: when you embrace your feeling of unworthiness, ironically, you see that you are whole. When you make room for stress, ironically, you feel peace. When you welcome loneliness, ironically, you feel connected.
It’s our judgment of the fear that keeps us stuck, not the fear itself. When you aren’t afraid to acknowledge all facets of yourself, they lose their ability to hold you back.
— TessRene.com
I experienced a radical transformation around the 2008 financial crisis. I was on the wrong side of the economy and went into big debt, with jobs in my field evaporating overnight. I found work here and there, but at frightening low pay. It was a miserable experience, and I sat with fear, anxiety and stress for many years. But, kind of brilliantly, I learned how to NOT spend money. I learned how to enjoy the simple things in life, like reading the paper over a cup of coffee and chatting with good friends. It’s also been refreshing, wearing the badge honour for having survived what felt like a huge failure… and for paying off every cent of that ugly debt, where many people I know declared bankruptcy, or secured consumer proposals (which allows you to pay off like 1/3 of what you actually owe). In summary, the scariest time of my life showed me what I’m made of, and made me stronger. Just sayin’ ; ) Hugs and good luck. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Tuesday, April 8, 2025
Don’t worry about other people so much…
I don’t understand how people can get so anti-something. Mind your own business, take care of your affairs, and don’t worry about other people so much.
— Betty White
I’ve been taking deep stock of my life, having lost both parents now (father died over 20 years ago, and mother died 2 1/2 years ago). Apparently I’m going through “complicated grieving.” This is when you lose a parent you weren’t particularly close to and who was probably either abusive and/or neglectful. So, you’re not sad and missing them as much as you’re secretly relieved you no longer have to suffer the confusion of the relationship. But you’re also left so sit with the rubble, which is very much an exhaustive, emotional maze, until you can make sense of it. Anyhow, all of this processing (with professional help) has me re-thinking my priorities. I’ve seen others go through seismic shifts after the death of a parent, and I think it’s pretty normal. I’m realizing that I need to give myself credit for what I have been able to accomplish, despite a less than supportive upbringing. I also want to embrace and celebrate the wonderful people in my life. And most importantly, I want to focus on things that bring me joy and peace… more than I want to measure myself against others, or chase the almighty dollar and rungs on the career ladder. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs and good luck. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Saturday, April 5, 2025
Real love vs the idea of love…
People don’t like love, they like that glittery flirty feeling. They don’t love love - love is sacrificial, love is ferocious, it’s not emotive. Our culture doesn’t love love, it loves the idea of love. It wants the emotion without paying anything for it.
— Unknown
The “honeymoon phase” of a relationship comes to mind, where the rose-tinted glasses are in full effect and we either don’t see or we ignore red flags. Fast forward a few years, or more if you’re lucky, and annoying habits and idiosyncrasies creep in. I don’t know about you, but I learned about my deal breakers FAR too late in life. Better late than never, I finally realized (with loads of therapy and education) that ALL of my past relationships had glaring incompatibilities. It’s really worth the time and effort figuring out how to choose the best-suited partner for your happiness and well being. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs and good luck. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Sunday, March 30, 2025
Swearing linked to increased pain tolerance ;)…
“It’s something we all share, and it’s really magical… It does something for us” according to Olli Robertson, psychology researcher at Oxford.
“Swearing is ‘a drug free, calorie-neutral, cost free means of self-help,’ said Richard Stephens, a researcher and senior lecturer in psychology at Keele University in England.
Besides pain tolerance, swearing’s been linked to bolstered social bonds, improved memory, and an alleviation of the social pain of exclusion or rejection. “Neurologically the pathways for physical pain and emotional pain are the same” Robertson said. “When you have heartbreak, it’s the same neural structures. It’s the same biological blueprint, and that’s why it feels so visceral, because it literally is.”
— Excerpt from “Cursing in any language is good for you — we swear!” Province newspaper, March 28th 2025 (article written by Sam Jones, Washington Post)
Huh! Let the swearin’ continue then, Lol. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs and good luck. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Tuesday, March 25, 2025
Key is acceptance, not positivity…
As I grew older, I learned that the key to surviving the day is not positivity, its acceptance. Accepting that not all days are good and happy, you will have bad days, you make mistakes, you fail, you mess up, everything’s not going to fall into place and that’s okay.
— Unknown
I was complaining back in my single days, and I remember a good friend saying, “Girl, the key is high hopes, low expectations.” He was so right. I wish I could go back and tell my younger self to hold out for a better match. When I became completely honest about who I am, and how I want to live my life, Mr Right appeared. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs and good luck. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Wednesday, March 19, 2025
Choose not to believe your negative (and fearful) thoughts…
You don’t need to change your negative thoughts. You just need to change how you engage with them. Observe them, choose not to believe them, and then let them naturally pass like clouds in the sky. They will pass. They always do.
— Lori Deschene
I seem to need reminders on this, Lol. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs and good luck. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Sunday, March 16, 2025
Relax your body to feel safe…
The easiest way to raise your vibration is to relax your body. The most essential way to relax your body is to slow your breath. The most effective way of slowing your breath is by loving your own heart. One “I love you” at a time, your breath is inspired into a slower pace, which reminds the body to feel safe enough to relax, as your vibration elevates into higher frequencies of light. This is the heart of transformation.
— Unknown
I tend to be a Type A over-achiever and feel-good pleaser. But I’ve also learned about the physical and emotional cost of walking on egg shells. So I continue to work on slowed breathing, calming self-talk, yoga, spending time with animals, good friends and anything that lowers my stress level. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs and good luck. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Friday, March 14, 2025
Dealing with worry…
Any time that you are worried about something say to your higher self, “Take this, I release this over to you, rearrange it, transform my thoughts, feelings and experience regarding this, it’s yours now, do with it as you see fit, hand it back to me if it’s worth receiving.” After saying and doing that, do you feel lighter? If you do, that’s because you’ve just removed your focus from that which was holding you in a place of discomfort or resistance. You’ve started to come back into alignment with your best self and the solution that you have been looking for.
— S. G. Ruddy - @aMessageOfLove
I don’t know about you, but I felt a sense of ease and relief just reading that. Studies actually show that a significant portion (one study claims 85%) of things people worry about never materialize, and even when they do, they’re easier to handle than expected. I need to keep this top of mind! Just sayin’ ; ) Hugs and good luck. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Monday, March 10, 2025
Words matter…
My therapist taught me that…
Saturday, March 8, 2025
Anger is a way to protest…
- A response to disempowerment
- A sign our boundaries are being ignored or violated
- A response to invalidation or unfair treatment
- A response to disrespect
- A part of the grief process
- A sign of built-up resentment or unresolved emotions
- A symptom of hyper vigilance and trauma
- A sign that you may feel attacked, threatened, or deceived
- A way to protest that we cannot control the reality around us
Monday, March 3, 2025
It’s okay…
It’s okay
Wednesday, February 26, 2025
Need a willing participant…
I want to help you, but you have to be a willing participant.
If you’re not, then I’m no longer helping you up; it is you who is pulling me down.
— Dr Steve Maraboli
When I was younger, my relationship, and making my partner happy, was my top priority. It took far too long, and too many break ups, to realize I needed to take better care of myself emotionally. I finally sorted out what makes me feel safe, loved, joyful and fulfilled. And that actually led to a much better pairing in the end, duh. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs and good luck. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Tuesday, February 25, 2025
If you want to develop emotional maturity….
If you want to develop emotional maturity, practice:
- Facing uncomfortable emotions without letting them dictate your actions
- Embracing change (learn how to bend without breaking)
- Allowing people to feel their emotions without trying to “save” them
- Accepting feedback
- Making decisions based on your values
- Having difficult conversations
- Being honest with yourself and others
- Honouring boundaries (even if you don’t like them)
- Making space for vulnerability and intimacy
- Acknowledging your flaws without letting them define you
- Observing how you show up in the world
Sunday, February 23, 2025
Healing past fight or flight mode…
Nobody really talks about this
Friday, February 21, 2025
Powerful source within you…
Everything changes when you begin to love yourself. You no longer send out energy of desperation or need to be filled from the outside. You become a powerful source within yourself that attracts better. The more you love who you are, the less you seek validation and approval.
— Unknown
I feel fortunate to have landed on a healing path, and compelling inward journey. I’ve invested in years of therapy, life coaching, and relationships courses, where I learned to accept myself fully. Unconditional self-acceptance has allowed for the confidence and emotional stability to excel in my career, to achieve financial security, and to find the perfect partner and soulmate. Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Sunday, February 16, 2025
The real luxuries in life…
When you realize the real luxuries in life are slow mornings, time with the people you love, home cooked food, quiet moments, good sleep, time in nature, a good book, watching the sunrise, and not rushing everywhere; that is when you begin to really live!
— Unknown
I’ve been giving this a lot of thought lately. I’m a bit torn, because I love the simple things in life (the ocean, swimming outside, time with friends, morning coffee, writing, animals, movies, music etc), but I also kind of need warm vacations, live entertainment, dining out and new clothing garments once in a while too. I’ve certainly learned to live on a lot less, thanks to a 2008 financial crisis near-bankruptcy. I’ve pretty much settled on living simple most of the time. I prioritize saving; for retirement, for a rainy day and for pre-paid for trips and fun extra’s. Zero debts. And I get to watch my investments grow. Just sayin’ ; ) Hugs and good luck. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Saturday, February 8, 2025
A fit physique shows dedication, self-respect and dignity…
Why I respect “fit people”
Because “Fit People” with a physique is much more than how good they look…
— Unknown
I’ve never thought of it quite like that. I’m certainly grateful for being a person who enjoys, and actually needs fitness. I find exercise eases my stress (I’m pretty type A), helps with digestion and helps me sleep. I don’t have to worry about what I eat as much, and the weight loss and physical toning are great too, of course. Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Tuesday, February 4, 2025
Breathe in the amazing and hold on through the awful…
Life is amazing. And then it’s awful.
Sunday, February 2, 2025
Do the work to heal?…
I hate when people say “If you love me, you’ll accept me as I am”. Loving you doesn’t mean tolerating your refusal to develop emotional intelligence and heal your dysfunction. If you loved you, you would do the work so people who love you don’t feel forced to walk away.
— Unknown
I continue to do the work to heal. I was fortunate that my ex-husband drew a firm boundary around my family drama. I was surprised to hear him say he “wasn’t willing to take that on”. He went on to say that talking to him or my friends would not solve the issues and that I should talk to a professional in order to better deal with the family dysfunction. Boy was he right. I made a significant investment (of time and money) in individual therapy, group therapy, therapist led weekend relationship workshops and spiritual healing. I think I cried for about three years. I had no idea the depth of anger, resentment, and sadness I carried from my childhood, and ongoing family issues. I could see the benefit of the work right away, and I’m actually returning to the weekend workshops to deal with the death of my mother and resulting fall out with my siblings. Therapy has had a very positive impact on my relationships, my career, and my overall health and well being, and I’m excited to pursue an even deeper level of self-care and love. Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Friday, January 31, 2025
Live for the little things?…
Someone once told me to always live for the little things in life. Live for 5 am sunrises and 5 pm sunsets where you’ll see colours in the sky that are stunning. Live for road trips and bike rides with music in your ears and the wind in your hair. Live for days when you’re surrounded by your favourite people who make you realize that the world is not a cold, harsh place. Live for the little things because they will make you realize that this is what life is all about, this is what it means to be alive.
— Unknown
Thank God for the simple things during the pandemic. Some of my favourite moments were picnics and cocktails at the beach or the park, deep conversations with my best friends and saving money! Sure, I missed the warm vacations, live entertainment and restaurants, but I’m not necessarily enjoying the warp speed pace of post-pandemic life. So, I’m going to spend more time on the simple things. Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Tuesday, January 28, 2025
Refuge from the miseries of life…
There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats.
— Dr Albert Schweitzer
Those are two of mine as well. I would add trusted friends, exercise, writing, and sunny vacations. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs and good luck. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Saturday, January 25, 2025
Happiness depends on your inner self…
10 Signs of Maturity
- Small talk no longer excites you
- Sleep is better than a Friday night out
- You forgive more often
- You become more open-minded
- You respect differences
- You don’t force love
- You accept heartaches
- You don’t judge easily
- You prefer to be silent over engaging in a nonsense fight
- Your happiness doesn’t depend on people but on your inner self
Tuesday, January 21, 2025
You’re not grown up until you stop blaming others…
You’re not grown up until you know how to communicate, apologize, be truthful and accept accountability without blaming someone else.
— Unknown
I feel fortunate to have learned this lesson. My spiritual guru was the first person to demand 100% accountability from me. She explained that although I had clearly been victimized as a child, that, as an adult, my issues are mine to deal with, and no one else’s. It was a tough lesson at the time because I guess I felt my upbringing (and ongoing family drama) was unfair, and I still needed to whine and complain, Lol. She went on to explain that when we take full responsibility for our baggage, we empower ourselves to heal, and then change our lives for the better. She was 200% right. Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Sunday, January 19, 2025
The trap of repressed emotions…
Feelings have never killed anybody. Repressing them have caused many to lose their lives.
— Unknown
I have learned that repressed feelings lie in wait, and wreak havoc on our most important relationships. Now, I will say that excavating old traumas demands an enormous amount of courage and bravery because you have to re-live some very scary experiences. The “work” will take you back to a time of helplessness and vulnerability. In truth, I only embarked on intensive therapy to save my (second!) marriage. My husband plainly stated that he was not going to take on my family baggage and ongoing drama. Thank God he did. There’s no way I would have sorted out my past, solidified my emotional world and found the love of my life without therapy. Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Saturday, January 18, 2025
12 truths from therapy that may just change your life…
- Thoughts are not facts
- Your past does not define your future
- Perfectionism is a myth
- Change begins with self-acceptance
- There is power in your vulnerability
- You can’t change others, just yourself
- Forgiveness is for you not the other person
- You can change
- Your inner critic is not your friend
- Your body keeps score
- You are not responsible for other people’s happiness
- It’s OK to walk away from toxic relationships
Tuesday, January 14, 2025
Feeling down is a good sign…
Feeling “down” is an indication that something within you is seeking to be released. Any negative emotion that is in your awareness is only ever there because it’s seeking to be freed, it’s not there to be pushed down, fought against or ignored. Instead of fighting that feeling, seek to understand why it’s there. Negative emotion is often an indication that you believe something that either isn’t true or isn’t in your highest good, about yourself, others or what you desire. Take some time to meditate, view everything through the lens of love, allow it, be patient, the false belief will reveal itself and let itself out in time.
— Unknown
I don’t know about you, but I find this perspective very calming. I’ve been low level down since my mother died over two years ago, which has felt unsettling. In the background, I know I’ve been reliving and processing my childhood and beyond, particularly the more upsetting moments. My mother leaving the bulk of the family estate to my brother, and giving very little to my sister and I didn’t help matters. My favourite life coach says what I’m going through is “complicated grieving” because the mourning goes beyond losing and missing the person. In this scenario there’s abandonment, and rejection. Coaching has helped a lot, and I’m embarking on another 1 year, in depth healing workshop (6 weekends throughout the calendar year, with weekly support groups and a buddy), conducted by my favourite therapist. I look forward to a better resolution that I’ve been able to accomplish on my own. Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Monday, January 13, 2025
Feelings are messengers…
- Your anger? It’s telling you where you feel powerless.
- Your anxiety? It’s telling you that something in your life is off balance.
- Your fear? It’s telling you what you care about.
- Your apathy? It’s telling you where you’re overextended and burnt out.
Sunday, January 12, 2025
Waiting is never a waste of time…
The longer you have to wait for something, the more you will appreciate it when it finally arrives. The harder you have to fight for something, the more priceless it will become once you achieve it. And the more pain you have to endure on your journey, the sweeter the arrival at your destination. All good things are worth waiting for and worth the effort.
— Unknown
I’m not very good at waiting, Lol, but I realize it’s been a constant. I’m still learning how to detach and surrender to the process, and timing of things. Just sayin’ ; ) Hugs and good luck. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Wednesday, January 8, 2025
Did you know (health tip)?…
Health tip!
When you drink water at the correct time..
- 2 glasses after waking up helps activate internal organs
- 1 glass 30 minutes before a meal helps digestion
- 1 glass before taking a shower helps lower blood pressure
- 1 glass before going to bed avoids stroke or heart attach
Saturday, January 4, 2025
Fall in love with your life…
Fall in love with your life.
Wake up early, buy your favourite coffee, go for walks, eat good food, wear what makes you feel confident, and listen to your favourite music.
Purposefully create these small moments that make you fall in love with your life.
— Unknown
Small moments got me through the worst of times; divorce, job loss, having to move. While unemployed (due to the 2008 financial crisis) I was still able to get out of bed and enjoy going for coffee, which made life feel somewhat normal. And in better times, my morning coffee has led to a new best friend, additional new friends and acquaintances, and a beautiful sense of community. This helps makes up for the lack of family connectivity, following my mother’s passing. Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Wednesday, January 1, 2025
Difficulty being present in the moment?…
We are very good at preparing to live, but not very good at living. We know how to sacrifice ten years for a diploma, and we are willing to work very hard to get a job, a car, a house, and so on. But we have difficulty remembering that we are alive in the present moment, the only moment there is for us to be alive.
— Thich Nhat Hanh
My favourite therapist diagnosed me with a few things; 1) father issues, which means relationship issues 2) a broken compass because I wasn’t in touch with my feelings and needs 3) love ability issue due to neglect and a lack of positive conditioning. Above all, he told me that I wanted life to be “sunny and sunnier”. Many years of therapy, relationship courses, and self directed study later, I’ve come a long way. But I think I still want life to be sunny and sunnier, Lol ;) I’ll continue to work on accepting life as it comes. On this first day of January 2025 I’m thinking I need to focus more on love and the amazing people in my life. Ambition is great and all, but connections are better for the heart and soul. Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl