Unsupervised...

In my defense, I was left unsupervised.

- Unknown

Ha ha ha. Seriously though, what do we do when no one is looking, in the privacy of our own homes? It's not always easy managing ourselves (i.e. raiding the fridge, or neglecting to exercise etc.). Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

All the great things...

All the great things are simple, and many can be expressed in a single word: freedom, justice, honor, duty, mercy, hope.

- Winston Churchill

Not so easy to achieve though hey? Just sayin' :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

"Clearing"...

I've always had a deep interest in psychology and the dynamics between people. To that end, I've embarked on numerous relationship workshops and life coaching sessions, both spiritual and traditional in nature. I learned that probably the most important part of a relationship is "clearing." I resisted clearing for a long time because I found it so uncomfortable. I hate conflict. In the end, however, until we're able to share our feelings and experiences with each other, tension sits in the middle like a bump in a rug. It takes some practice, but once each person finds a comfort zone with the process, there is some really good stuff on the other end. Oh, and we can make requests of one another to overcome unmet needs and disappointments. Nothing to lose in trying, anyhow. Just sayin' :)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

From the soul...

When you
do things
from your soul,
other people really dig
that shit.

- Unknown

We can feel authenticity can't we? Feels right, feels good. Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Vulnerability...

The best people possess a feeling for beauty, the courage to take risks, the discipline to tell the truth, the capacity for sacrifice. Ironically, their virtues make them vulnerable: they are often wounded, sometimes destroyed.

- Ernest Hemingway 

The Dalai Lama says our painful experiences allow us to feel greater compassion for others. Just sayin' :)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Good cheer....

The officer said,
"You drinkin?"
I said, "You buyin?"
We just laughed
And laughed.
I need bail money.

Good cheer everyone. Happy Holidays.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Moods...

My 4 moods:

I'm too old for this shit.
I'm too tired for this shit.
I'm too sober for this shit.
I don't have time for this shit.

- Unknown

Ha ha ha. Seriously though, man life has a way of wearing us down doesn't it. Kinda hard not to crack once in a while. Just sayin' :)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

WTF? ;) ...

In bed, it's 6 am. You close your eyes for 5 minutes, it's 7:45.

At work, it's 1:30. Close your eyes for 5 minutes, it's 1:31.

- Anonymous

Ha ha ha.  A little funny goes a long way. Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Loving...

I feel that there is nothing more truly artistic than to love people.

- Van Gogh

True love is unconditional. Sometimes we have conflicting needs/wants/priorities and in the end, we have to put our own health, well-being and happiness first. In my humble opinion, this is not selfish. Putting ourselves first is an act of self-care. Just sayin' :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Sacrifice...

That's want you do for someone you love... you risk what you feel for whatever they need.

- Anonymous

That's true love, I think. Just sayin' :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Chin up...

A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

- Winston Churchill

The Holidays can be very stressful. An optimist might say it can be a good time for drawing new/better boundaries and clearing up old stuff ;) Just sayin' .... Hugs

Happy Holidays everyone!

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Other people...

Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions. Their lives mimicry. Their passions a quotation.

- Oscar Wilde

Okay, so we can't all be original ;) But seriously, it's not easy facing peer and family pressure. Even if some of our friends and/or immediate family are chill and accepting, there's a peanut gallery out there and it can make our choices mighty uncomfortable... even if we're doing what's important for our health and well being. Just sayin' :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Making choices...

You're always one decision away from a totally different life.

- Unknown

There is bravery in making choices and owning our choices, good or bad. Better to be real than paralyzed. Just sayin ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Best or stressed? ...

Be with those who bring out the best in you, not the stress in you.

- Unknown

Lol, fair enough. Although, every relationship needs a clearing once in a while. Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Take a leap;) ...

"Living is a form of not being sure, not knowing what next or how. We guess. We may be wrong, but we take leap after leap in the dark."

- Agnes De Mille, an American dancer and choreographer. De Mille revolutionized musical theatre by creating choreography, which not only conveyed the emotional dimensions of the characters but enhanced the plot.

Wishing us joyous, love-filled and successful leaps in 2017!

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Judgy.....

Go ahead. Judge me. Just remember to be perfect the rest of your life.

- Anonymous

Just sayin!!!! ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Teachings from feelings...

Anything that annoys you is teaching you patience. Anyone who abandons you is teaching you how to stand on your own two feet. Anything that angers you is teaching you forgiveness and compassion. Anything that has power over you is teaching you how to take your power back. Anything you hate is teaching you unconditional love. Anything you fear is teaching you courage to overcome your fear. Anything you can't control is teaching you how to let go.

- Jackson Kiddard (Also know as Martin Kipp? Supposedly, Kipp has been traced to be the mysterious and popular author of Jackson Kiddard's aphoristic pieces. Kipp was also listed on Mind Body Spirit Magazine's list of 'The 100 Most Spiritually Influential Living People.'

A coach of mine once told me that anything I was feeling was my "stuff." I didn't understand it at the time because it seems counter-intuitive. There are things outside of our control and we are most certainly mis-treated at times. The point my coach was trying to make, however, is that we have free will with what happens next. We can choose to sulk and be bitter, or we can learn something new and make decisions or changes based on that. Just sayin' :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

10,000 practice runs ;) ....

I fear not the man who has practised 10,000 kicks, but I do fear the man who has practised one kick 10,000 times.

- Bruce Lee

Wow, cool that even Bruce Lee knew about the importance of practice and repetition in achieving the highest level of excellence.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Kinds of intelligence...

Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.

- Albert Einstein

Clearly, not just a science (genius) geek. Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Remake ourselves...

As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world - that is the myth of the atomic age - as in being able to remake ourselves.

- Ghandi

Historically a people-pleaser, my biggest accomplishment in life may well be learning how to "have my own back" and speak up for myself. (Thanks to my favourite life coaches). Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Key to life...

When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down "happy." They told me I didn't understand the assignment, and I told them they didn't understand life.

- John Lennon

Ha ha, I love it. Seems like we need a sense of purpose though. No matter how simple it may be. Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Happiness...

Some cause happiness wherever they go, others whenever they go.

- Oscar Wilde

Are we bringing good energy, or taking away? Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

"The Truth About Your Heart" ...

Your heart will fix itself.
It's your mind you need to worry about.
Your mind where you locked the memories,
your mind where you have kept pieces of the ones that hurt you,
that still cut through you like shards of glass.

Your mind will keep you up at night, make you cry,
destroy you over and over again.

You need to convince your mind that it has to let go...
because your heart already knows how to heal.

- Nikita Gill, self-made, London-based  author and poet, who faced 137 publisher rejection letters and now has almost 80,000 Instagram followers. So there! ;) Just sayin'

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Be real...

We were born
   to be real
not to be perfect.

- Unknown

What is it all about? Take your pick; money, success, family, friendship, experiences, devotion to fairness and justice, true love, giving back, all of the above ?? There are universal notionns on the subject. Above all, we need each other. Connection with others is essential to our very survival. Beyond that, however, it does seem that we need to find our own peace, happiness, self-esteem. Just sayin' :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

There may not be time...

The trouble is, you think you have time.

- Buddha

As I approach the 18th anniversary of my father's death, I am reminded that there will be no do-overs, no opportunity for clearing, no resolution and no deeper understanding. We didn't expect my Dad to die at 59 and I spent much of my life being afraid of him. I was also deeply disappointed in his limitations, which left me feeling judged and misunderstood. I am still surprised by how I felt and how I still feel after his passing. It might have taken a couple of years, but in the end, I would give anything to sit down with my Dad and get to the other side of our challenges. Just sayin' :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

"The one" ...

One day someone will walk into your life and make you see why it never worked out with anyone else.

- Unknown 

Just sayin' :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Discovering morning...

A reporter at the magazine Vanity Fair asked David Bowie what he considered his greatest achievement. Bowie didn't name any of his songs, video's or performances, but rather, he answered, "Discovering morning."

- Compliments of Rob Brezny

Is it just me, or is this a very calming notion. It's so easy to get caught up in measuring where we're at in life and whether or not we're "successful" enough. It's kind of exhausting. Just sayin' :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

The Simple Life...

missing somebody....................call
wanna meet up.......................invite
wanna be understood...........explain
have questions............................ask
don't like something......say it nicely
like something...................declare it
want something..................ask for it
stressed....................................let go
love someone...........................say it

- Unknown

Go for it. Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Mindful...

Give but don't allow yourself to be used.
Love but don't allow your heart to be abused.
Trust but don't be naive.
Listen to others, but don't lose your own voice.

- Unknown

Experts say, don't be a victim. Altough some things just happen to us, we can choose to focus on what we can control; our thinking, our attitudes and beliefs, our actions. Just sayin' :)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Death of a relationship...

Relationships never die a natural death... They are murdered by ego, attitude and ignorance...

- Unknown

I would add the post-traumatic-stress of upbringing and past relationships, genetic make up, hard-wired personality tendencies, lack of commonality and many more. Just sayin' :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Fear criticism? ...

"To escape criticism - do nothing, say nothing, be nothing."

- Elbert Hubbard, a prolific and renowned writer, publisher, artist and philosopher who described himself as an anarchist and a socialist. Hubbard believed in social, economic, domestic, political, mental and spiritual freedom.

Said another way...

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering.
There is a crack in everything,
That's how the light gets in.
- Leonard Cohen

Looks like we need to accept and maybe even embrace imperfection? Just sayin' ;) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

What's mine, what's yours....

"I am responsible for what I say. I am not responsible for what you understand."

- Unknown

We all have our own "stuff" and "trigger" points. It's not always easy sorting out what belongs to us and what belongs to others. Probably worth thinking about though. Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Pull yourself out of the muck...

When you can pull yourself out of your own muck, by giving your same old stories happier endings, you'll find that rage turns into peace, pain to power, fear to courage.

In his book What Happy People Know, psychologist Dan Baker, PhD. says that joyful people finish their life stories on a different note: appreciation. Instead of going over and over what they've lost, they focus on what they've gained. For example: 'He was a womanizer and a drunk. A real pain in the butt. But we had more love than most people ever dream of.' Yes, you went broke, but people who loved you stepped up to help. True you totaled your car - but in the moment you thought you were about to die, you experienced a peace beyond fear that you've been able to access ever since.

- Compliments of Martha Beck, Oprah Magazine

It all seems to come back to what we tell ourselves. Just sayin' :) Hugs.

Blesssings,

Chatgirl

Hungry or bored? ;) ...

Dear brain,

Please start being able to tell the difference between hungry and bored.

Sincerely,

I'm getting fat!

- Unknown

Ha ha ha. Seriously, though, we don't always eat because we're hungry do we? We may eat because we're stressed out, or we just like the way something tastes, or (if you're like me) we're hooked on sugar, and yes I'm sure we often eat because we're just plain bored. Or, as the saying "what's eating you" indicates, something deeper and more meaningful may be consuming a part of us and leading us to over-indulge. Food for thought, no pun intended ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Are you "flawsome" ? ....

Flawsome (adj.) an individual who embraces their "flaws" and knows they're awesome regardless.

- TheMindsJournal.com

I bet we could all ease up on ourselves. (Well, and on others too of course!).  Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Karma...

Dear Karma,

I have a list of people you missed.

- Unknown

Ha ha ha. I guess we shouldn't expect resolution, justice and fairness in life. But wouldn't it be nice? Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Heart felt...

"Dear Heart, please stop getting involved in everything. Your job is to pump blood, that's it."

- Unknown

Ha ha ha. Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Good judgment...

"Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment."

- Will Rogers

Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Life lessons...

"Difference between school and life? School teaches you lessons and then gives you a test. Life gives you a test and you learn the lessons."

- Unknown

Ha ha. So true. Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Interpreting dreams...

30 Common Dream Symbols and Their Meanings by Rebecca Turner

A snap shot....

Animals - often represent the part of your psyche that feels connected to nature and survival. Being chased by a predator suggests you're holding back repressed emotions like fear or aggression.

Being chased - is one of the most common dream symbols in all cultures. It means you're feeling threatened, so reflect on who's chasing you and why they're a possible threat in real life. Lauren Wallace (New York Daily News column on dream analysis) says such dreams encourage the dreamer to face a problem that has been hanging over his/her head.

Exams - can signify self-evaluation, with the content of the exam reflecting the part of your personality or life under inspection. Lauren Lawrence has observed that only perfectionists tend to have recurring stressful test-taking dreams. Lauri Loewenberg (author of three books on dreams and has appeared on Dr Oz and Anderson Cooper 360 shows) believes that these dreams draw parallels between school and a job. Both places see a lot of pressure-filled situations.

Falling - is a common dream symbol that relates to our anxieties about letting go, losing control, or somehow failing after a success.

Faulty machinery - in dreams is caused by the language center being shut down while asleep, making it difficult to dial a phone, read the time, or search the internet. It can also represent performance anxiety.

Demons- are sneaky evil entities which signify repressed emotions. You may secretly feel the need to change your behaviours for the better.

Missing a flight - or any other kind of transport is another common dream, revealing frustration over missing opportunities in life. It's most common when you're struggling to make a big decision.

Being trapped (physically) - is a common nightmare theme, reflecting your real life inability to escape or make the right choice.

Lateness - might be a sign that someone is overwhelmed and doing too much according to Wallace. According to the-open-mind.com's Top 40 Dream Symbols and Their Meanings, being late in a dream can suggest apprehensiveness around an eminent change or feeling overwhelmed or hesitant about an upcoming event.

Interesting stuff! Have a great day :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Got a good sense of humor?...

"Having a good sense of humor reduces stress, helps you cope with pain, creates empathy in social situations, and can even improve our odds of finding a mate."

- Brandon Spector, Readers Digest

6 Signs you have a good sense of humor, compliments of huffingtonpost.com

1. You make laughing a priority, which is said to make us happier and healthier. Studies show that smiling instantly boosts your mood and laughing can soothe tension and melt stress.

2. You practice self-acceptance. Good-humored individuals embrace their flaws and laugh them off (and let them go).

3. You're creative - it takes a lot of mental energy to come up with quick-witted quips that keep grins on others' faces. One 2014 study found that laughter can also lead to a sharper short-term memory.
4. You're conscientious - there's a line between well-intentioned humor and mean-spirited jokes, and those with good humor know the difference (being funny without hurting others people's feelings).
5. You have good physical well-being - giggles can stimulate the organs, improve your immune system and relieve pain. Overall, humor can benefit us physically and emotionally, according to Peter McGrawm Ph.D.

Sense of humor can certainly take the edge off. Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Honoring emotions or wallowing?...

"It's healthy to share painful experiences-  but there's a difference between honoring emotions and wallowing in them... wallowing only mires us deeper in the pit of despair... repeatedly telling a sorrowful story only lights up your brain's pathways of suffering, so you're essentially experiencing the tragedy over and over."

- Martha Beck

There's another way to go. Stay tuned;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Emotion...

"Emotion is the chief source of all becoming-conscious. There can be no transforming of darkness into light and of apathy into movement without emotion."

- Carl Jung

My favourite therapist says that our emotions give us critical information. We may not like some of the more unpleasant feelings, such as anger and fear, but they tell us when our boundaries are being crossed or when we're over extending ourselves etc . Just sayin' :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Go for it!...

"Don't ever let someone tell you that you can't do something. Not even me. You got a dream, you gotta protect it. When people can't do something themselves, they're gonna tell you that you can't do it. You want something, go get it. Period."

- Will Smith, (The Pursuit of Happiness, film)

Makes me think about the film Eddie the Eagle, a consummate underdog story about a colourful British Olympic ski jumper. The only person who believed in Eddy was pretty much Eddie. Well, and his Mom, Lol ;) Inspiring true story! Just sayin'

Blessings,

Chatgirl

One day at a time...

"I try to take it one day at a time. But sometimes several days attack me at once."

- Unknown

Ha ha ha ;) and said a bit differently...

"A strong person is the one who knows how to be quiet, shed a tear for a moment, and then picks up their gloves and fights again."

Yup, sometimes you just gotta say uncle and take a moment. Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

The seeds we plant...

"Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but the seeds that you plant."

- Robert Louis Stevenson, a literary celebrity during his lifetime, Stevenson now ranks among the 26 most translated authors in the world. Most famous works are Treasure Island, Kidnkapped, Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde.

It's not easy waiting for things to "happen" because it usually feels like nothing's moving. Delay of gratification! Just sayin' ;) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Tackling worry....

"All I want to do is sit down for ten minutes and not worry about a single. damn. thing."

- Unknown

"Sometimes the best thing you can do is not think, not wonder, not imagine, not obsess. Just breathe, and have faith that everything will work out for the best."

- Unknown

Ever wondered whether worrying is normal? Does everyone worry? If so, how much of the time? According to Karen Swarz, M.D., Director of Clinical Programs at the Johns Hopkins Mood Disorders Center, the average person worries an average of 55 minutes a day. Typical worrying is supposedly a normal way of processing something that's important to us. A clinical case of worry, on the other hand, (Generalized Anxiety Disorder -GAD), is more concerning and involves an average of 5 hours of worrying per day.

How do we cope with the everyday type of worry? According to Helpguide.org, we can reduce our worrying with the following techniques:

* Confine our worrying to one time period during the day (give ourselves permission to worry about whatever is on our minds at this time and declare the rest of the day a worry-free zone).
* Ask ourselves if the problem is solvable (and learn to embrace our feelings, which are likely being suppressed, adding to the anxiety)
* Accept uncertainty (the KEY to anxiety relief)
* Avoid people who feed our worries and fears (we quickly "catch" moods from other people)
* Focus on the present rather than the past or future (mindfulness meditation to stay focused on the present is a simple concept, but takes practice to reap the benefits).

Apparently it is a fact that exessive worrying takes years off our lives, so it makes sense to be honest with ourselves and take steps to improve our coping strategies. Just sayin' :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

What's eating us?....

"Gluttony is an emotional escape, a sign something is eating us."

- Peter De Vries, prolific American editor and novelist. De Vries was described as "probably the funniest writer on religion ever" and "a secular Jeremiah, a renegade CRC missionary to the smart set."

We can try to ignore the niggles, but apparently the body knows and our emotions/troubles show up somewhere; ulcers, migraines, weight gain, weight loss? Just sayin' :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Fearful thoughts...

"Fear is not real. It is the product of thoughts you create. Danger is very real, but fear is a choice."

- Will Smith

They say we are what we eat and perhaps we are what we think as well. Just sayin' ;) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

I'm fine... ;)

I'm okay.
I'm not crying.
Everything is okay.
Nothing bad happens.
Do not worry about me.
You don't have to come.
I can handle it myself.
I'm fine.
I'm doing fine.
Come on, I'm not lying.

Fine... I'm lying.

- Unknown

We all need a little help some of the time. Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Range of emotions...

"Part of being who you are has to do with feeling your feelings, which means you'll have a wide range of emotions- not just constant sunshiny happiness."

- Janet Gonzalez-Mena, a highly respected early childhood consultant, infant specialist, diversity specialist and writer. She is currently part of the faculty for Beginning Together, a training program for adults working with children with special needs.

My favourite therapist told me that we may want everything to be sunny or sunnier, but there is important information in all of our emotions. They help us interpret what's going on around us and they indicate how we should respond. Just sayin' :)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Say it out loud....

"Loneliness does not come from having no people around you, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to you."

- Carl Jung

My favourite therapist says we simply must have our own backs and this requires being honest with ourselves and others. My other favourite therapist says it takes "emotional courage" to speak up, be heard and follow through on what is important to us. Apparently when we do this, we deepen our feelings of self-worth. This brave gesture is also said to show much respect for others because we are trusting them with our deepest emotional truths.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Life is not fair...

"If you expect the world to be fair with you because you are fair, you're fooling yourself. That's like expecting the lion not to eat you becuase you didn't eat him."

- Unknown

Ha ha ha. Seriously though, we can be fair, but we do need to protect ourselves as well. We can't sit waiting to receive what feel we deserve. I've learned this the hard way unfortunately. I'm still learning  to be clear about my worth and the value of what I bring, be it business or personal. Just sayin' :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Just be there..

"Sometimes we need someone to simply be there, not to fix anything, or to do anything in particular, but just to let us feel that we are cared for and supported."

- Unknown

Just sayin' :)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

A little pain...

everybody wants happiness
nobody wants pain
but you can't have a rainbow
without a little rain

 - Unknown

I admit it. I only want happiness ;) I guess we have to find a way to accept the stuff we don't want. That's life and there's no way to fight it. Just sayin'

Blessings,

Chatgirl

It's all okay...

"Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come."

- Unknown

Is it just me, or does that kinda make yah feel better about your life. Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Determination...

"A determined mind and a strong will bear endless possibilities."

- Unknown

Many helping professionals focus on our thinking. They say, if we tell ourselves, "nothing is going to stand in the way of me and the life I want," the odds will be in our favour! Just sayin' :)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

The big picture...

We so badly want things to happen, like yesterday, Lol ;) Waiting can be painful and anxiety causing, especially with the unknown looming large. But in the end, most things are a process and they take as long as they take; getting a degree, looking for, or changing jobs, finding that perfect partner, raising children, getting in shape, losing weight, finding a new home, saving money, paying off debts, starting a new business etc.. It seems the best and most important things in life take patience and perseverance. They're usually worth the wait too! Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Perfection...

"Have no fear of perfection - you'll never reach it."

- Salvador Dali

A lot of cliche sayings come to mind, like "It's all about the journey, not the destination or final result." I don't remember who coined the statistic around 10,000 hours and the highest level of proficiency, but keeping all of this in mind, we should seriously cut ourselves some slack when we "mess up" or when something isn't "good enough." Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Effortlessness...

The nature of Grace is effortless ease. It has a natural flow, just as a river flows easily over and around smooth stones with no need to fight, resist or remove the obstacles.

Are you trying to force or control something? Are you making an effort to put a square peg into a round hole. Are you trying to make things work in a particular way?

Just step back, breathe, and open up to other possibilities. Give up the notion that things have to be done in a fixed way and stop making an effort. Relax and trust that there is an effortless, guided way - maybe one you haven't yet thought of. Ask Grace for it to be revealed.

 - Compliments of The Journey Cards

Letting go and "surrendering" may be one of the toughest things in the world to do. Feels freeing though. Just sayin' :) Hugs

Blessings,

Chatgirl

You are significant...

"I hope you know you're capable & brave & significant. Even when if feels like you're not."

- Unknown

Just sayin' :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

A wee bit of me time...

"Slow down.
 Calm down.
 Don't worry.
 Don't hurry.
 Trust the process."

- Alexandra Stoddard, author of Living a Beautiful Life, Choosing Happiness: Keys to a Joyful Life and Happiness For Two: 75 Secrets for Finding More Joy Together.

I was listening to a radio show today and each of the three panelists agreed that stress is pretty much a constant these days. The consensus was this; take little mental health breaks at least once a day to preserve sanity. Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Break free...

"Nothing holds you back more than your own insecurities."

- Unknown

So, what's the fix??

"The key to success is to focus our conscious mind on things we desire and not the things we fear."

- Brian Tracy

I think this may be like exercise...  requiring practice, discipline and commitment. Just sayin' :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

What are we telling ourselves? ...

What world you end up living in depends at least in part on your use of language.

Do you want to move and breathe amidst infertile chaos where nothing makes sense and no one really  loves anyone? Then speak with unconscious carelessness, expressing yourself lazily. Constantly materialize and entertain angry thoughts in the privacy of your own imagination, beaming silent curses out into eternity.

Or would you prefer to live in a realm that's rich with fluid epiphanies and intriguing coincidences and mysterious harmonies? Then be discerning and inventive in how you speak, primed to name the unexpected codes that are always being born right in front of your eyes. Turn your imagination into an ebullient laboratory where the somethings you create out of nothings are tinctures with the secret light you see in your dreams of invisible fire.

- Compliments of Rob Brezny

Very poetic and profound indeed. Said more directly, experts from all walks of life talk about the importance of what we think/how we think/the choices we make. We have a role to play in how our lives shake out. Just sayin' :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

I'm fine...

The age old question: "How are you?"

The age old answer: "Fine thanks."

When really, we may be any of the following... 

Broken. Useless. Alone. Clueless. Confused. Betrayed. Fragile. On the verge of tears. Depressed. Anxious. About to break down. Ready to give up. Pathetic. Annoying. Burdened. Distant. Lonely. Bitter. Heartbroken. Rejected. Crushed. Ready to fall apart at any moment. Empty. Defeated. Never good enough.

And maybe that's normal and just a part of life. Just sayin' :/ Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Managing emotions...

"Rationalization is a process of not perceiving reality, but of attempting to make reality fit one's emotions."

- Ayn Rand

Emotions can be tricky because they're often irrational and anchored to past trauma. I think we all get "triggered" at one time or another, despite our best efforts and intentions. A good therapist will say we should look at our old "stuff" in order to minimize potential fall out. Just sayin' :)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Never give up...

"You are only as strong a you allow yourself to be; never get discouraged, never give up because consistency & dedication is the key to success."

- Unknown 

Said another way...

"Perseverance is failing 19 times and succeeding the 20th."

- Julie Andrews

And another way...

"Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up."

- Thomas A. Edison

We can let ourselves off the hook and give up, but then what? Just sayin' :) Hugs

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Unexpressed emotion...

"Unexpressed emotions will never die. They are buried alive and will come forth later in uglier ways."

- Sigmund Freud

Now that's profound. Goes to show, you can't sum people up with a sound bite or a notion. Just sayin' :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

To persevere...

Persevere

to persist in anything undertaken; maintain a purpose in spite of difficulty, obstacles, or discouragement; continue steadfastly.

To live is to persevere. Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Fun fact about flirting ;) ...

A study published in the peer-reviewed Communications Research suggests that only 28 percent of us realize when someone is flirting with us. Think of the possibilities and what we could be missing out on! Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Being human...

"Don't forget that you're human. It's okay to have a melt down. Just don't unpack and live there. Cry it out and then refocus on where you are headed."

- Unknown

Maybe we can keep reminding ourselves that "this too shall pass." Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Depth of experience...

I am strong
Because I know my weaknesses
I am beautiful
Because I am aware of my flaws
I am fearless
Because I learned to recognize illusion from real
I am wise
Because I learn from my mistakes
I am a lover
Because I have felt hate
And...
I can laugh
Becuase I have known sadness

-  Unknown

Said another way...

Wake up everyday stronger than yesterday. Face your fears and wipe your tears."

- picturequotes.com

There is no escaping fear. We don't get to know what's coming and the unknown is a tricky thing to manage. All we can do is be brave and strive to talk ourselves down from the ledge. Just sayin' :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Happy Canadian Thanksgiving :) ...

A great day to remember the good stuff. No matter how tough life can be, there's always something to be grateful for. Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Worry and fatigue...

"When I look back on all these worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which had never happened."

- Winston Churchill

We do not always win the battle in our minds, but it can't hurt to keep up the good fight! 

As Dale Carenegie says "our fatigue is often caused not by work, but by worry, frustration and resentment." Just sayin' :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Not about us...

People say "it's not you, it's me," but that doesn't necessarily mean anything to us in the moment. It just feels like a kiss off. But I do believe there is an epiphany in that saying. Sometimes when people do things, it's not about us. It's about them. Odds are, we're not being factored into the equation at all. And maybe that's the right thing. It's hard to let a relationship go because change is uncomfortable and we have to find a place to put the old feelings. Thing is, facing reality can set us free. Letting go of something that's good at best and leaving room for great is so much better because we might actually find it! Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Living in the past...

"Stop allowing the pain from past relationships to keep you stuck in resentment. Stop being a prisoner to your past choices. Grow yourself beyond who you were when you gave your power away!"

- Unknown

Said another way...

"Being trapped in your past will eventually rob you of your future."

-Unknown

We cannot change the past. It's that simple. Forgiving ourselves for our past choices may be the biggest act of kindness we can imagine. Just sayin' :)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Think trap...

"Don't believe everything you think."

- Unknown

The mind so often goes to fear. It can take ongoing commitment and discipline to override worrisome and pesky negative thoughts. Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Good enough...

"Be gentle with yourself, you're doing the best you can."

- pinterest.com

It's so easy to beat ourselves up. We've had to endure years of  hearing about how we could do better, or be better, which can make it difficult to accept ourselves for who we are and what we are capable or not capable of doing. At some point, our happiness is more important than being "perfect," which isn't really possible anyway. Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Nourish the soul...

"When you recover or discover something that nourishes your soul and brings joy, care enough about yourself to make room for it in your life."

- Jean Shinoda Bolen, M. D, a psychiatrist, Jungian analyst, clinical professor of  psychiatry at the University of California San Francisco, a Distinguished Life Fellow of the American Psychiatrist Association and recipient of the Institute for Health and Healing's 'Pioneer in Art, Science, and the Soul of Healing Award.'

Educated and caring advice. :)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Better not bitter...

"The difficulties of life are intended to make us better, not bitter."

- pinterest.com

I must admit, I had to be told once (by trusted friends) that I'd turned into bitter/angry girl. I didn't realize how transparent my anger and frustration were at that time and I took the feedback to heart (after three people told me the same thing!). I think it takes a lot of courage to tell a good friend something like that and I'm a big believer in the statute of limitations when it comes to angsty energy. Even Bill Gates says "Life is not fair. Get used to it." Just sayin' ;) 

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Good choices...

"I choose to live by choice, not by chance; to make changes not excuses; to be motivated, not manipulated; to be useful, not used; to excel, not compete. I choose self-esteem, not self pity. I choose to listen to my inner voice, not the random opinion of others."

- illuzone.net

Mental health professionals and life coaches will say that we need to own our choices and take full responsibility for where we find ourselves in life, both good and bad. This can be a tough paradigm shift, but they say in order to manifest the life of our dreams, we must believe that we have a big role to play. Just sayin' :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Hang in there...

Sometimes you just have
to stop worrying,
wondering, & doubting.
Have faith that things will
work out, maybe not how
you planned, but just how
they're meant to be.

- quotepix.com

I think the hardest thing is not knowing. Sometimes we just gotta hang in there and be brave even if we aren't feeling as strong and confident as we might wish. Just sayin'  ;) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

One small change...

I read a quote that says something like "We change when someone special leaves our lives or when someone special comes into our lives." No question when someone significant dies, we feel it and we are often compelled to make big changes. For example, I've seen co-workers quit and start a passion project after a work-aholic parent has died. I wonder what would happen if we made even the smallest of positive changes just because we want to feel better? I've been impressed by changes I've seen friends make; deciding not to speak ill of others, eating more healthy, volunteering. Personally, I gave up sugar two years ago, which I think was a wee bit of a crutch, and this has led to many discernible benefits. It's so easy to observe others and want them to change, but maybe that change should start with us. Just sayin' ;) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Minimizing drama....

"Please cancel my subscription to your issues."

- Anonymous

Just say no, Lol. But seriously, I think there's a time to throw in the towel, move forward and focus on healing, inspirational and joy promoting actions. Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Good with the bad...

"You have to take the good with the bad, smile when you're sad, love what you've got and remember what you had... Always forgive but never forget, learn from your mistakes but never regret, people change, things go wrong, just remember, life goes on."

- Unknown

Life is such a mixed bag and unfortunately things do go wrong, glitches happen, disappointments find us. I guess we just have to remember, this is all a part of life. Just sayin' :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatigirl

Walk lightly...

"There are quicksands all about you, sucking at your feet," he ruminated, "trying to suck you down into fear and self-pity and despair. That's why you must walk so lightly. Lightly, my darling... Learn to do everything lightly. Yes, feel lightly even though you're feeling deeply."

- Aldus Huxley, author of Brave New World (a dystopian vision of the future), nominated for the Nobel Prize in Literature in seven different years and widely acknowledged as one of the pre-eminent intelluctuals of his time. Later in his life, Huxley came to regret one thing: how "preposterously serious" he had been when he was younger.

Just sayin' :)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

At the core...

"As you get older you will understand more and more that it's not about what you look like or what you own, it's all about the person you've become."

- Anonymous

Money is great. "Succeeding" feels good. A beautiful relationship is a definite plus. At the end of the day though, how we feel about ourselves can be either a source of contentment or ongoing angst. Just sayin' :)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Love...

Love

Is not something we give
or get, it is something that
we nurture and grow,
a connection that can only
be cultivated between two
people when it exists within
each one of them - we can
only love others as much
as we love ourselves.

- Brene Brown

My favourite therapist says a lot of us do not know what love is. We only know "not love" from our upbringing. It's never too late to learn. Just sayin' :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Being there...

"You are not required to set yourself on fire to keep others warm."

- Unknown

Wonderful to be there for others. We may need to check in with ourselves and make sure we have the necessary time/energy/resources to do so however. Oxygen mask on us first, right? Just sayin' :)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Take a breath...

"Sometimes the most important thing in a whole day is the rest we take between two deep breaths."

- Etty Hillesum

Life is an enduring series of ups and downs. Makes sense to take a moment once in a while. Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Love yourself first...

"Love yourself first, and everything else falls in line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world."

- Lucille Ball

A good reminder to be kinder to ourselves. After all, nobody's perfect. Just sayin' :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Delicate balance...

"Life should be touched, not strangled. You've got to relax, let it happen at times, and at others move forward with it."

- Ray Bradbury, one of America's most celebrated authors

Sometimes the best and hardest thing to do is nothing. Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

What lies within...

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us."

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I think we have more strength, courage, ability than we may realize. We can do it! Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Be who you are...

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."

- Dr Seuss

My favourite therapist says we should never do things out of duty and obligation (unless we consciously choose to knowingly do so) because on some level we will be betraying ourselves and others.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Tending the mind...

Food for thought...

"The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another."

- William James (American philosopher, physician and first educator to offer a psychology course in the US).

"No matter where you go or what you do, you live your entire life within the confines of your head"

- Terry Josephson (Motivational Speaker)

"You and I are not what we eat; we are what we think."

- Walter Anderson, (The Confidence Course)

"The person who sends out positive thoughts activates the world around him positively and draws back to himself positive results."

- Norman Vincent Peale (American Minister and Author of The Power of Positive Thinking)

"The law of attraction attracts to you everything you need, according to the nature of your thought life. Your environment and financial condition are the perfect reflection of your habitual thinking. Thought rules the world."

- Joseph Edward Murphy (American New Thought Minister, Ph D Psychology)

Just sayin' :)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Self-acceptance...

"To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don't need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself."

- Thich Nhat Hanh

Self-acceptance means having our own backs. This takes emotional courage because we might have let others down and that feels super crappy. If we abandon ourselves by people pleasing and putting others first, however, we may end up dissatisfied and unhappy. Just sayin' :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Ongoing issues...

"Please cancel my subscription to your issues."

- Unknown

Lol ;) ... But seriously, though we all have our issues, if they are constant and ongoing, maybe we need to consider real and lasting change. There is no shame in seeking professional help. Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Common enemy intimacy....

"A lot of times we share things that are not ours to share as a way to hot wire connection with a friend. You know what I call that? COMMON ENEMY INTIMACY."

- Brene Brown

Interesting...

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Bygones...

"You can't start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading that last one."

- iliketoquote.com

The experts say, put a bow on it and stow it in the proverbial attic as an experience to learn and grow from. Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Longings...

"Do not leave your longings unattended."

- Unknown

I guess we can avoid or deny what we really want, but we may end up with a general sense of dissatisfaction in the end. Just sayin' ...

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Daring greatly...

Daring greatly (v.)

The courage to be vulnerable,
to show up and be seen.
To ask for what you need,
to talk about how you're feeling,
to have the hard conversations.

- Unknown

... and to spend time with people who allow us to do this. Just sayin' :)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Self-protect...

"Perfectionism is a 20-ton shield that we lug around thinking it will protect us when, in fact, it's the thing that's really preventing us from being seen and taking flight."

- Brene Brown

Why is it that we don't allow ourselves to be a work in progress and get better over time? We expect so much of ourselves. Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

To do list in relationships...

20 things to start doing in your relationships:

Free yourself from negative people.
Let go of those who are already gone.
Give people you don't know a fair chance.
Show everyone kindness and respect.
Accept people just the way they are.
Encourage others and cheer for them.
Be your imperfectly perfect self.
Forgive people and move forward.
Do little things every day for others.
Always be loyal.
Stay in better touch with people who matter to you.
Keep your promises and tell the truth.
Give what you want to receive.
Say what you mean and mean what you say.
Allow others to make their own decisions.
Talk a little less and listen more.
Leave petty arguments alone.
Pat attention to your relationship with yourself.
Pay attention to who your real friends are.
Ignore unconstructive, hurtful commentary.

- Unknown

A very good reminder of the things that can bring greater contentment and peace. Just sayin' :)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Who to trust...

"We can't ask people to give us something that we do not believe we're worthy of receiving. And you will know you're worthy of receiving it when you trust yourself above everyone else."

- Brene Brown

My favourite therapist would agree. He said something like "once you truly have your own back, everything will fall into place for you." He was right. Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

The haters...

"Do not try to win over the haters; you are not a jackass whisperer."

- Brene Brown, Professor of Social Work and author of two #1 New York Times Bestsellers: The    Gifts of Imperfecion (2010) and Daring Greatly (2012). She and her work have been featured on PBS, NPR, TED and CNN.

Lol ;) But seriously, we really do have to walk our own path. People pleasing is a recipe for unhappiness in the end. Just sayin' ...

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Joy...

"Find what brings you joy and go there."

- Jan Phillips

I couldn't agree more. Just sayin' :)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Respect...

To the people that say "you should respect your family":

1. Stop assuming that everyone has been treated well by that family.
2. Respect is not freely given, it is earned. You don't owe anyone respect. you do not owe anyone anything.
3. This line is used repeatedly in abusive situations. It is frequently used in emotional abuse in the form of gas lighting to make the survivor doubt their perceptions of events. It also is frequently used to control, manipulate and coerce behaviour.

- Unknown

It is very confusing and unsettling when family does not provide stability, comfort and safety :( Support groups and/or a great coach of some sort serve a much needed purpose in this situation. Just sayin'

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Boundaries...

"People are going to do what they want to do when they want to do it. We can express our preferences, but ultimately it is their own responsibility. If we try to control or force them in any way then it's a boundary violation on our part. So let go and trust that others will learn and grow in their own way on their own time. It will reduce a lot of unnecessary stress and improve relationship dynamics."

- jennifertwardowski.com

Well said.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Stay or go....

"At some point, you have to realize that some people can stay in your heart but not in your life."

- Anonymous

Tough call to make, but our own health and well-being is our first order of business, right? Just sayin' ...

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Karma...

"How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours."

- Wayne Dyer

We do get triggered by people and things. It's great to find a little space to think/feel before "reacting." This doesn't come quick or easy. Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Perfectionism...

'When perfectionism is driving, shame is riding shotgun, and fear is that annoying backseat driver."

- Brene Brown

Perfectionism and fear can cause paralysis that's for sure. I wonder what we're missing out on? Just sayin' :)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Act of self-care...

"Letting toxic people go is not an act of cruelty. It's an act of self-care."

- HealthyPlace.com

Letting people go is difficult when you love them and you're attached to their good qualities. Tough as it is, we must protect ourselves from toxic relationships when they compromise our own happiness and well being.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

You're worth the effort...

"Nourishing yourself in a way that helps you blossom in the direction you want to go is attainable, and you are worth the effort."

- Deborah Day

At the end of the day, happiness needs to be in our own hands. Yes, loved ones/friends/family can be there for us as best they can, but no one can live our lives for us and no one can solve our issues for us. We're better off meeting our own needs and taking great care of ourselves. Takes a lot of pressure of our relationships too :) Just sayin'!

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Attitude...

"Attitude is everything."

- Anonymous

Just sayin' ;)

Chatgirl

At home...

"Can you imagine feeling at home in the world no matter where you are? If you eventually master this art, outer circumtances won't distort your relationship with yourself. No matter how crazy or chaotic the people around you might be, you will remain rooted in your unshakable sense of purpose; you will respond to any given situation in ways that make you both calm and alert, amused and curious, compassionate for the suffering of others and determined to do what's best for you."

- Rob Brezny

Amen.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

The downs...

"Don't let the bastards cheer you up."

- Harland Miller

Sometimes you just gotta go with the bad mood. Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Nourish you....

"Invent your world. Surround yourself with people, color, sounds and work that nourish you."

- Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy (Sark)

Sounds good to me ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

For a reason...

"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you can appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so that you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."

-  media.photobucket.com

Amen to that :)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Growing pains...

"For a seed to achieve its greatest expression, it must come completely undone. The shell cracks, it's insides come out and everything changes. To someone who doesn't understand growth, it would look like complete destruction."

- Cynthia Occelli

They say change is the only constant in life. Not sure why this be such a struggle for us? Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Not selfish...

"It's not selfish to love yourself, take care of yourself, and to make your happiness a priority. It's necessary."

- Mandy Hale

This is what I've been saying, Lol ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Not selfish...

"It's not selfish to love yourself, take care of yourself, and to make your happiness a priority. It's necessary."

- Mandy Hale

This is what I've been saying, Lol ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Relax and let it happen...

"Life should be touched, not strangled. You've got to relax, let it happen at times, and at others move forward with it."

- Ray Bradbury, celebrated 20th/21st -century American writer and Pulitzer Prize winner (2007).

We may not always succeed in relaxing, but it's a great practice. Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Small, but big differences...

"Be patient with people. They're a lot more like you than you think."

- Brendon Buchard

I think that's very true. In defense of our judgments however, those differences can be challenging. Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Defensive or compassionate?...

It's hard to hear "constructive" feedback from our loved ones. We have a tendency to become defensive and hurt. If we can seek to understand how they're feeling, however, we just may deepen and strengthen our relationships. We may not be able to change who we are, but if we sit in a place of caring and compassion, our peeps will likely understand us better as well. Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Old fart? ;) ....

"Anyone who stops learning is old whether at twenty or eighty. Anyone who keeps learning stays young."

- Henry Ford

Curiosity and openness are definitely attractive and feel good qualities. Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

We are what we think...

"What world you end up living in depends at least in part on your use of language.

Do you want to move and breathe amidst infertile chaos where nothing makes sense and no one really loves anyone? Then speak with unconscious carelessness, expressing yourself lazily. Constantly materialize and entertain angry thoughts in the privacy of your own imagination, beaming silent curses out into eternity.

Or would you prefer to live in a realm that's rich with fluid epiphanies and intriguing coincidences and mysterious harmonies? Then be discerning and inventive in how you speak, primed to name the unexpected codes that are always being born right in front of your eyes. Turn your imagination into an ebullient laboratory where the somethings you create out of nothings are tinctures with the secret light you see in your dreams of invisible fire..."

- Rob Brezny

I must admit I am a believer in "we are what we think." Just sayin' :)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Adulthood...

"Adulthood is like looking both ways before you cross the street and then getting hit by an airplane."

- LMFAOquotes.com

You never know what's around the next corner, that's for sure ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

To save or not to save?...

A treasured coach offers this very sage advice when determining whether or not people are leaning too heavily on us for support and comfort.

* A relationship should be mutual and consenting, with boundaries honoured and respected.
* We are well within our rights to determine how and when to "spend" our precious and limited energy.
* We should allow ourselves to "just say no" when we're feeling compromised and/or drained.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Older...

"When I was a kid, I wanted to get older. This shit is not what I expected."

- Anonymous

Ain't that the truth ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

People pleasing?...

"As I have grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake."

- Anonymous

Amen to that ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Inevitability...

"There comes a time when you realize you are on your own and you just have to suck it up; no whining, no complaining and no expecting. Because in the end, disappointment is inevitable."

- pinterest.com

Roger that ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes ;) ...

We have a hard time making changes even we know we should says Dr Oz. "For example, while 51 per cent of Americans say they'd like to lose weight and get healthier, only around 26 per cent are actively trying. And just about 20 per cent of weight-shedding folks lose 10 per cent of their body weight and keep it off for a year." How do we successfully follow through with desired changes? According to a study in Frontiers of Psychology, which included 44,000 subjects, the biggest boost came from using a brief self-talk, such as "I can do it! just before the task/action at hand. This supposedly stimulates feel good emotions and arouses interest in succeeding.

Hmm! Sounds simple enough to try. Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Where does happiness come from? ...

"'Where exactly does happiness come from?' That's the riddle posed by David Meyers and Ed Diener in their article , 'The Science of Happiness,' published in The Futurist magazine. I invite you to write down your own answers to their question. Map out the foundations of your own science of happiness. Get serious about defining what makes you feel good. What specific experiences arouse your deepest gratification? Phyiscal pleasure? Seeking the truth? Being a good person? Contemplating the meaning of life? Enjoying the fruits of your accomplishments? Purging pent-up emotion?"

- Compliments of Rob Brezny

Maybe we don't need to move mountains in exploring our passions. Maybe our heart-felt desires and needs are more subtle? Just sayin' :)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

The older I get...

"The older I get, the more everyone can kiss my ass."

- Anyonymous

Lol ;) But seriously, there does seem to be freedom in accepting who we are. Just sayin' :)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Likeable?...

"When you are truly comfortable in your own skin, not everyone will like you, but you won't care about it one bit.!"

- wordsonimages.com

There's no way everyone's gonna like us anyway, so may as well work on accepting and enjoying ourselves for who we are. Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Let it go...

"You will find that it is necessary to let things go; simply for the reason that they are heavy."

- Anonymous

Just sayin' :)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Fountain of youth...

"There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of the people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age."

- Sophia Loren

An elegant and inspiring quote from an elegant and classy woman. :)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Expectations continued....

"Maybe I just expect too much."

- Anonymous

Food for thought? Just sayin' :)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

It just ain't so...

"It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so."

- Mark Twain, author of the Adventures of Huckleberry Finn and The Adventures of Tom Sawyer.  Lauded as the "greatest American humorist of his age" and called "the father of American literature."

We can be blinded by our filters. No question. Just sayin.'

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Unhappy Hour ;)...

"Celebrate Unhappy Hour at least once a month. During this ritual blowout, you have license to complain and rant about everything that's driving you crazy. Get a sympathetic listener to be your receptacle or deliver your blast straight into the mirror. If you prefer, write it all down. One way or another, grouse nonstop about your secret shame, raw sorrow, bottomless wrath, unspeakable guilt, and unnerving twists of destiny. Feel free to unleash guttural moans or rueful cackles."

- Rob Brezny

I feel better just thinking about it! Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Others...

Is it just me, or is it tough to wrap our heads around other people's choices sometimes? Of course we're supposed to accept and love people for who they are and support them, no matter what... Easier said than done. Even tougher zipping it when something we could have predicted actually happens and we're left powerless to do anything.  Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Simple life...

"A MANIFESTO for
A simple life
Eat less, move more
Buy less, make more
Stress less, laugh more
Feel blessed, love more
Find a quite spot
Every day and
Breathe"

- pinterest.com

Just sayin' :)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Change...

"Things change. And friends leave. And life doesn't stop for anybody."

- media.photobucket.com

Change is never easy... And it keeps happening, damn it. ;) Just sayin'

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Brave? ...

"You can't be brave if you've only had wonderful things happen to you."

- Mary Tyler Moore

I can honestly say, the toughest times in my life led to something unbelievably wonderful in the end. Not that it was easy at the time, but each moment of intense doom and fear set me on a path to something better. Way, way better! Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

What to expect...

"Expecting is my favourite crime &; disappointment is always my punishment."

- Anonymous

We can only do our best. If that's not good enough, what are you gonna do?  Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Never say die ;) ...

"I've been to hell and back. I spill shit, I trip and embarrass myself. I can't just flutter my eyes and get what I want. My life is messed up. I've been through more shit than you see on TV. Nobody's perfect. I've been lied to, cheated on, & had my heart stolen. I'VE FUCKEDUP, FUCKED PEOPLE UP & BEEN FUCKED UP. But, every hit was worth it because I felt it. I KNEW IT WAS REAL. Life is real & I'm living it wrong everyday. I'm fucking up royally & doing everything opposite. But do I regret one thing? NEVER. Because, at one point what I did was what I wanted & I got my FUCKING SATISFACTION. My life is mine & no stupid bitches or immature people can fuck it up for me anymore. I'm the real deal & I'd love to see you TRY AND FUCKING BREAK ME."

- media.photobucket.com

I love it ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Life...

"Never, never, never give up."

- Winston Churchill

Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Disagreement part deux...

"Honest disagreement is often a good sign of progress."

- Ghandi

So maybe friction ain't so bad ;) ... despite the discomfort. Just sayin' ...

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Acceptance...

"Do not resist."

- Ekhart Tolle, A New Earth

E. Tolle says we cause ourselves pain when we cannot accept what is happening. By contrast, if we accept what "is" and allow life to unfold as it does, we can expect less pain and more enjoyment in general. Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Expectations...

"Don't blame people for disappointing you, blame yourself for expecting too much from them."

- quotesgram.com

A good therapist will say "The only thing we can control is ourselves, so that's what we should work on." Just sayin' :)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Disagreement....

"The beginning of thought is in disagreement - not only with others but also with ourselves."

- Eric Hoffer

"Disagreement is something normal."

- Dalai Lama

It's unanimous;) East and West both say disagreement is "normal" and productive even. Fewf!

Blessings,

Chatgirl

:) ...

"Get your happy on!"

- Anonymous

Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Lifeline...

We want to be happy, but in relationships we face inevitable moments of friction when faced with conflicting wants and needs. What to do? Well, we may as well roll up our sleeves and problem solve from the get-go. They say "Teach people how you want to be treated," but this has always sounded somewhat adversarial to me. How about getting on the same side and throwing out a lifeline? If we get stuck in blame and disappointment, we won't be building much of a bridge. I like this quote instead: "You either have to be part of the solution, or you're going to be part of the problem." (Leroy Eldridge Cleaver, American writer and political activist). Good therapists advise against living in a victim or poor me place. Instead, we can actively ask for things we need and want. We can help the important people in our lives approach us in the "right" way, so we can all have a better shot at peace and joy. Just sayin' :)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Life an experiment...

"A life is a kind of experiment. We are the sum of our parts, of what we are born with and the experiences that we accumulate along the way."

- Morris Goodman, Founder of Pharmascience Inc.

I like that perspective. Some things we cannot change, like our DNA, and some of the experiences that come our way. If we can step back and observe with curiosity (and not take things so personally), maybe we can un-hook from some of the emotional turmoil? Worth a shot. Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Forgiving...

"There is no weakness in forgiveness."

- Anonymous

Gaining perspective can take time and distance from the issue. There's also the question of self-care and deciding what we want/need in our lives. Our own mental and emotional health should be our first priority, right? Just sayin' :)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Turning anger around...

"Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; YOU are the one who gets burned."

- Buddha

It's easy to see how others could/should change and improve ;) The more challenging exercise is to look at ourselves and wonder what we could do differently to improve our lives and relationships. Where are we angry, resentful, blaming? How could we turn that around? Might take some work, Lol ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

TGIF....

"If Friday had a face, I would kiss it."

- Anonymous.

Friday never gets old. Just sayin' ;)

(Ps. Happy Canada Day fellow Canadians!).

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Power of a smile...

"Happiness looks gorgeous on you."

Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

One day at a time...

"Just breathe."

- Anonymous

Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Happy hour...

"Is it time for champagne yet?"

- Anonymous

Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Rising up...

"You must make a decision that you are going to move on. It won't happen automatically. You will have to rise up and say, "I don't care how hard this is, I don't care how disappointed I am, I'm not going to let this get the best of me. I'm moving on with my life."

- Pinterest.com

There are so many things in life we end up needing to mourn; that great apartment or house we didn't get, a job/promotion/award that went to someone else, a relationship we thought would last forever, a friendship that just doesn't seem to work anymore, foods that our body is seemingly at war with etc. What can we do, but acknowledge the understandable sadness, anger and disappointment. Then maybe sulk for a bit, Lol ;)  ... and then hopefully cheer up and move forward with curiosity and hope. Just sayin'. Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

I know or I can?

"I know when to stop. I know when to let things go. I know when to move on. But "I know" is different from "I Can" ...

- Flickr.com

Profound. Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Live by design...

Some bold laws from Dianna Kokoszka, author, coach, trainer, Entrepreneur of the Year, Woman of the Year:

1. Focus on the solution, not the problem.
2. Complaining is a garbage magnet.
3. What you focus on expands.
4. Do what you have always done, and you will get what you have always gotten.
5. Don't compare your insides to other people's outsides.
6. Success is simple, but not easy.
7. Don't listen to your drunk money.
8. Clarity is power.
9. Don't mistake movement for achievement.
10. Spontaneity is a conditioned reflex.
11. People will grow into the conversations you create around them.
12. How you participate here is how you participate everywhere.
13. Live your life be design, not by default.

Look her up. No question, she knows what she's talking about! Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Too serious?...

"A good lesson in keeping your perspective is: Take your job seriously but don't take yourself seriously."

- Thomas P. O'Neill

"The only thing you sometimes have control over is perspective. You don't have control over your situation. But you have a choice about how you view it."

- Chris Pine, actor

This can take time, practice, patience and kindness to ourselves and others. Being "triggered" and smoothing out long standing rough edges - not so easy. Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Heaven and hell...

"Everyone who has ever built a new heaven first found the power to do so in his own hell."

- Friedrich Nietsche, philosopher

No escaping the tough times in life, that's for sure, but some of the best things come out of the dumps. Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

No fair continued...

"The world is not fair, and often fools, cowards, liars and the selfish hide in high places."

- Bryant H. McGill, American author, speaker and activist in the fields of self-development, personal freedom and human rights

Nice to hear someone say it out loud. In the corporate world, they say the easiest way to get rid of someone is to promote them upward and out. It's not so easy to fire someone. Yikes! Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

The question of love...

What is true love? Does the Hollywood or Jane Austen brand of  romantic love exist? Should love take work? ... etc... I think we may be at the mercy of our experiences and observations to date. I hear so many people refer to the latest divorce statistics or the one or two happily married couples they know of. Fair points. Even a high profile motivational speaker I met one day talked about "realistic" expectations and putting a limit on just how perfect we expect a relationship to be. I mean, does perfect really exist in life anyway? Not really. On the other hand, some relationships are easier than others and there's no doubt we are more compatible with some people than others. Maybe it's a matter of deciding on more joy, and a higher level of connection and compatibility for ourselves. Just sayin'  :) 

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Not fair ;)...

"The only thing that makes life unfair is the delusion that it should be fair."

- Dr Steven Maraboli

Good point, Lol ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Wanting...

"If you don't get what you want, you suffer; if you get what you don't want, you suffer; even when you get exactly what you want, you still suffer because you can't hold on to it forever."

- Dan Millman, Way of the Peaceful Warrior

There's another quote that says something like "As soon as you stop wanting something, you get it." Another quote says "What you focus on expands, so spend lots of time thinking about what you want." So, moral of the story, keep the wanting in check?

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Harnessing aggression...

"The wise win before they fight, while the ignorant fight to win."

- Chinese statesman Zhuge Liang, also known as Crouching Dragon

The goal is to harness aggressiveness constructively; be brave, crafty and graceful in the face of fear and rely on strategy and good timing instead of brute strength.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Self-discipline...

"Success means doing things you don't want to do."

- Rory Vaden, Author, Inspirational Speaker and Self-Discipline Strategist

Rory Vaden's book Take the Stairs is a #1 Wall St Journal, #1 USA Today and #2 New Work Times best seller. Rory is the world's leader on defining the psychology around modern day procrastination, and "Priority Dilution," a term he coined. He talks about conquering fears and taking immediate action in our lives. Might be some good motivational reading.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Please yourself...

10 Ways to Please Yourself!

1. Stop doing things you don't want to do!
2. Communicate clearly!
3. Stop people pleasing!
4. Say what you really mean!
5. Trust your instincts!
6. Never, ever talk down to yourself!
7. Follow your inspirations!
8. Don't be afraid to say "No"
9. Don't be afraid to say "Yes"
10. Be your own best friend!

- compliments of  all-greatquotes.com

Having said that, of course there's a balance between pleasing ourselves and wanting the people we care about to be happy too :)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

No fair...

"Not every day is a good day,  live anyway.
Not all you love will love you back, love anyway.
Not everyone will tell you the truth, be honest anyway.
Not all deals are fair, play fair anyway."

- pinterest.com

I like that :) Helps you live with yourself and sleep soundly at night. Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Chillax...

"Within you is the power to rise above any situation or struggle, and transform into the brightest, strongest version of you EVER!"

- Pinterest.com

I'm beginning to realize, with life being the long and winding road it is, that going with the flow may be crucial. Reacting and agonizing over every misstep is draining and on top of it, life is certainly not fair. Okay, so we're never gonna be Gandhi, but things might be easier if we can chillax even a tad more. I'm really gonna try and take my own advice, Lol! Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Broken...

"Strength of character isn't always about how much you can handle before you break, it's also about how much you can handle after you've broken."

- livelifehappy.com

Defeat is a special kind of pain. We have no choice but to dust ourselves off and set a new course.  :( Just sayin' ...

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Buy in....

Is it just me, or is it a struggle motivating ourselves at times? Even if we're typically disciplined and task-oriented, there are days when the couch (or some form of escapism) is more appealing. So if we can't even get buy in from ourselves, we might need to build in some breathing room for others, when we want or need them to do things for us. Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Emotional courage...

Valued therapists talk about the importance of emotional courage in our quest for joy and peace in life. This involves being profoundly honest to self and others. When we know who we really are and we can accept what we need to do for our own stability, well being and happiness, we have a better shot at meeting our own needs. From there, we can say 'yes' or 'no' to others. With good boundaries, we can choose or not choose to do do things out of duty and obligation (rather than manipulation and guilt), with careful forethought and consideration for how this will affect our level of self-care. This is not actually that easy because it involves standing up to people and having our own backs. For example, family members may make us feel responsible for giving of ourselves when at times would be better off taking care of ourselves. Selfish or self-care? Just sayin' ....

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Auto pilot...

"The whole world is a series of miracles, but we're so used to seeing them that we call them ordinary things."

- Hans Christian Anderson

Yup. Auto pilot and/or pre-occupation with this or that! Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Secret of life...

"The secret of life," said sculptor Henry Moore to poet Donald Hall, "is to have a task, something you devote your entire life to, something you bring everything to, every minute of the day for your whole life. And the most important thing is -- it must be something you cannot possibly do."

Hmmm.... For me, I guess it's wanting/needing/trying to understand human nature. Yup, fits. Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Inner "manic commentary"...

"The voices in our heads are our constant companions. They fill our inner sanctuary with streams of manic commentary. Often we're not fully cognizant of the bedlam, since the outer world dominates our focus. As soon as we close our eyes and turn our attention inward, we are immersed in the jabbering babble. Spend unprecedented amounts of quality time with the still, small voice at your core -- the wise guide that is often drowned out by all the noise."

- Rob Brezny

A lot of wisdom out there speaks to how fearful and crazy making our brains can be. Be nice to quiet the stress of it all. Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Lot in life...

I was reminded of my favourite therapist's wisdom. I'll paraphrase; "Some things are just our lot in life. We cannot change who our parents are or where we were born. We cannot change the things that have happened to us." In other words, some of the "wounds" and "limitations" we are destined to carry with us for life. And that's the best we can do. Just sayin'

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Resistance...

"The resistance that you fight physically in the gym and the resistance that you fight in life can only build a strong character."

- Arnold Schwarzenegger

Life will always bring challenges, that's for sure. Sigh. Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Transcendent....

Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they've been given than to explore the power they have to change it.
Impossible is not a fact.
It's an option.
Impossible is not a declaration.
It's a dare.
Impossible is potential.
Impossible is temporary.
Impossible is nothing.

- Muhammad Ali, 1942-2016

Rest in peace brave warrior.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

"Don't do what I did, ask what I asked" (Re: Eat, Pray, Love journey)

"Many people write for advice on replicating the Eat, Pray, Love journey. They believe the geographical journey will give them the same result. What's the name of the Naples pizzeria, they ask? But it's not about the pizza, it's about the questions we ask. Ask, what do I want to do with my life? What I want more of? Less of? When was I happiest? What was I doing then? Who makes me feel the world is full of possibilities? Who doesn't? Ask the right questions; become a scientist of your own experience."

- Elizabeth Gilbert, Author of Eat, Pray, Love

We're all on our own journey, right? :)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

"Keep showing up" ...

"When we try and don't succeed, it hurts. But the worst response is 'If this is what it feels like to give 100 per cent, I'll never do it again. I'll never trust/tell anyone my dreams/love.' If you say that, what's the rest of your life to be? You're going to be in death's waiting room, paying bills till your time's up. If you can have happy moments, you're not done yet. Keep showing up. There's no success more meaningful than being a curious and engaged human being."

- Elizabeth Gilbert, Author of Eat, Pray, Love

Quitting is always an option, but probably doesn't feel as good as succeeding at something we kept trying at. Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Perspective shift...

"Evil is boring. Cynicism is idiotic. Fear is a bad habit. Despair is lazy. Joy is fascinating. Love is an act of heroic genius. Pleasure is your birthright. Receptivity is a superpower."

- Rob Brezny, Author of Pronoia is the Antidote for Paranoia

Makes you think... Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Peer group...

"Stop waiting and find your Tribe. Someone recently asked how to find a mentor. When I started out, I created a peer group and I think a peer group can help you more than a mentor. If you get people together who are powerless, unsuccessful and striving, and you show up for each other then you become your own mentor group. That same group who all had crappy jobs and all wanted to be writers - like me - are still the first people who read my manuscripts 20 years later. If your tribe doesn't exist yet, you may need to be the person to found the group. You might be the tribal leader. If the thing you need doesn't exist, create it. That's the ultimate creativity."

- Elizabeth Gilbert, Author of Eat, Pray, Love

That's what the "Smart Cookies" did to get out of debt and now they're successful enough to advise others with their online program. Impressive! Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Creator or bystander?...

"In my latest book Big Magic, I encourage everyone to find some creative outlet. A journalist interviewed me and asked: 'Aren't you afraid that your book is going to cause lots of people who have no talent to create lots of shitty art?' The arrogance of that question is staggering. There's a presumption that only the elite are allowed to be creative. My concern is not that the world is filled with bad art, it's more that the world might be filled with people who are not making or creating things in their life - and are just consumers or bystanders who are passively allowing things to happen to them."

- Elizabeth Gilbert, Author of Eat, Pray, Love

I think we judge ourselves like crazy and think most of what we do isn't good enough :( Ouch. But we don't have to show it to anyone if we don't want to, Lol. Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Enslaved...

I read a great article recently. It talked about the times we live in and how "the employee is the new slave."

- En Route, Air Canada Magazine (sorry, can't remember the author)

Right? I'm not one to get on much of a soap box, but some things just don't seem right. We're expected to put work first and sacrifice our personal lives far too often. Then without warning, the bottom line can send us straight to the unemployment office! .... Just sayin'!

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Trial and error....

"Scribble, scribble, erase. Scribble, erase, scribble. Scribble, scribble, scribble, scribble. Erase, erase, erase. Scribble, erase. Keep what's left."

- Alex Stein, Aphorist (someone who makes astute observations that can be considered general truths)

Yup, a lot of trial and error in life. Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Ray of light...

In truth, this whole blog thing is a search for meaning and understanding. I'm a pretty "up" person and I can generally keep going and find the positive in just about anything... But I still find I need to seek out words of wisdom, inspiration and hope. Just sayin...

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Quit or surrender?...

"Know the difference between quitting and surrendering. Quitting and surrender are two very different things. Quitting sources like 'I don't feel like it, I'd rather watch Dowton Abbey. It's hard, I'm bored." Surrendering sounds like 'I've come to the end of my power and have nothing else I can do and nothing else to give.' Some of the most shameful experiences of my life came from quitting. The most beautiful experiences of my life came from surrendering. When you surrender, you recognize that you're not the most powerful force in the universe; you let go and accept whatever happens next."

- Elizabeth Gilbert, Author of Eat, Pray, Love

Eckhart Tolle, Author of The Power of Now and A New Earth would say something similar. He would say whatever happens "Do not resist." He would also say "Do not label things as good or bad. Just accept and trust what life brings." Tolle says additional pain comes from resisting what is or what has happened. He says if we can accept what is and get busy moving forward, the pain will subside more quickly. Sometimes what has gone "wrong" turns into the best thing that's ever happened to us.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

No guarantee...

"Stop waiting for a guarantee. I met a woman recently who wanted to start writing a book but was having trouble believing that the universe would actually give her the result that she wanted - a publishing deal. It might not, I said to her. There is no certainty. You do not know where the adventure is going to take you. If you want to know how the adventure ends, you're never going to start it. 'But what if I go on an adventure and find nothing?' people ask. Show me when that ever happens. Please bring me the person who went on a sincere and open-hearted search and found nothing out about themselves. You may not find what you wanted to find - however, you will definitely know a great deal more about yourself at the end of the journey than at the beginning. Don't avoid going on that journey because you might be disappointed. Who among us has been spared disappointment or frustration? It's part of the journey."

- Elizabeth, Author of Eat, Pray, Love

Well said.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

"Patience and self-forgiveness" ...

"Be patient with yourself. You don't have to make a huge leap to make changes in your life. Everyone's looking for the lightning strike, the epiphany, the Moses-and-the-burning-bush moment. There is something very dramatic and exciting about that. But it doesn't often happen. It's more like a trail of breadcrumbs - it's a scavenger hunt. I know people have read Eat, Pray, Love and see this big, dramatic journey, but there were three years of a collapsing marriage before I did anything. It wasn't as if I came home one day, and slammed the door very cinematically and walked out with a squeal of tyres on the gravel drive. I cried every single day for three years, looking for other solutions, and cried for three years after. We all want the short cut. We long for "aha" moments when we are given the answer. And yes, they do come. But then you still have to fix the 20 things that need to be fixed. What we need more than anything is patience and self-forgiveness - as well as being able to forgive others - because change is not an easy thing to do."

- Elizabeth Gilbert, Author of Eat, Pray, Love

In my personal experience, even with a strong desire, much focus and hard work, change is a process.  We're dealing with genetics, upbringing, past relationships and experiences. I've heard a lot of people talk about how, surprisingly, life doesn't get easier as we age. You'd think we would be less sensitive over the years, but a certain amount of post-traumatic stress seems to haunt us. So, yeah, patience and forgiveness for self and others sounds like a really kind (and realistic) way to go.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

No certainty...

"Stop looking so hard for certainty. There are paradoxes and uncertainty, and as long as we keep looking for rules that will hold us safe from paradox and uncertainty, the more anxious we'll feel."

- Elizabeth Gilbert, Author of Eat, Pray, Love

Elkhart Tolle, Author of The Power of Now and A New Earth says "Realize deeply that the present moment is all you ever have."

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Off the hook...

"You'll find the life and love you've been dreaming of when you have your own back."

- Joel Brass, Therapist/teacher

In other words, we're supposed to meet our own needs for the most part. Although people can be there for us and bring us joy, it's not fair or realistic to expect others to make us happy all of the time. So when others disppointment us or let us down, we're supposed to be empathetic, if possible, and fulfill ourselves. Realistic expectations might let us all off the hook. Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Befriend fear...

"Be thankful for fear. I'm a very fearful person but I have learned to thank fear: 'I understand you're trying to protect me. You're the ultimate bodyguard of my life.' We don't appreciate how fear has kept us alive this long. We're all here because at some point, our fear said 'Don't get in the car with that guy; don't walk down the street; don't go into the water - you're not a strong enough swimmer. ' We owe our fear our lives. Start by saying 'thank you, I appreciate all the ways you've saved my life. (But right now I don't need you; I'm just trying to write poetry!).' Creat an ongoing friendship with fear.

- Elizabeth Gilbert, Author of Eat, Pray, Love

Susan Jeffers, Author of Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway echo's this sentiment. I guess we have to live with the discomfort of fear and try to get used to it ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Wise words...

"Forget about being fearless, be curious about things instead."

- Elizabeth Gibert, Author of Eat, Pra, Love

Kinda takes the pressure of hey? Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Adversity...

"Adversity introduces a man to himself."

- Albert Einstein

What are we made of? I think we can surprise ourselves. Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Tested...

"Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved."

- Helen Keller

And she would know. Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl