Forgiveness revisited...

This "break up blog;)" has been a great way to process and evolve past a particularly rough patch in my life. It's humbling, cathartic and certainly raises the stakes to go public with one's struggles. At rock bottom, I challenged myself to be known - by putting myself "out there" in general. I spent the bulk of my life being the peace keeper, running interference for others' friction and I think my aim was to be as invisible as possible (enter the chameleon and budding sales personality, Lol!). My commitment was conflict avoidance and I get it. Growing up in family world war 3 will do that to you, especially if you feel what I feel... everyone's emotions, pain, disappointments. It took a hell of a lot for me to start caring most about my own emotional world and to put myself first in life.... and I can say from this very personal experience, it's never too late to start doing that. Even in this very moment, I realize (again) that the person I need to forgive the most is myself. There are a few people who have had a lasting, uncomfortable impact on me emotionally and I'm ashamed to admit that I have had unpleasant thoughts about these people. But here and now, I realize that I have been at least partly responsible for what has happened to me and I know that I need to forgive myself for not making better choices along the way. In hindsight, I can see that my boundaries were fuzzy. I needed to be aware of, acknowledge and act on how I was feeling about certain things. Certain relationships were not appropriate for me and yet I continued to allow "deal breakers" into my life. Good news is, I now know what I need and want and I feel comfortable speaking up, so that I'm always ok:) I wish that for everyone because life is simply better when we're taking good care of ourselves.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Staying the course...

I've read endless books on attracting "abundance" and manifesting what we want. I remember The Secret book/movie and the Celestine Prophecy catching on like wildfire when they came out. I've also heard a lot of people talk about feeling fuzzy on the whole "how to" thing. In my personal opinion and experience, I believe it's about staying the course. We can feel frustrated and decide all of it's bogus and doesn't work. There's a scene in The Secret where a little boy throws out a picture of the new bike he wants because it's just not happening - but then he realizes he can't let go of the idea, takes the crumpled picture out of the garbage and continues to cherish the notion of enjoying his coveted bike again. He gets the bike. I've realized that when I set aside the "needing" and focus on my moment-to-moment, day-to-day commitments, after a while my dreams keep coming true, one at a time. Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Can people change?...

Pain and suffering are a natural part of life. That's all there is to it. Is there a point to it? This is the age-old question, is it not? Personally speaking, I have gained more from my "bad" experiences than I have from the joyful. Not that I want more pain - I'll take all the joy in the world, please, Lol ;) It's only in hindsight that I can look on my life with this sort of perspective. Specifically, my biggest fear happened. I was privately and secretly terrified of being betrayed by the one I love. Why, I'm not sure. Counsellors will generally look to early childhood for answers and there would be a lot of those in my case. Without getting into the nitty gritty, let's just say I didn't come away with warm feelings of being loved, appreciated and accepted, but rather a symbolic and emotional chill. Looks like it's taken me a really, really long time to resolve this particular handicap. The clincher was experiencing and facing my deepest fear. The experience left me feeling truly "alone" and wounded. In that time I found a way to dig deeper than I would have thought possible without cracking. I am so happy and proud to have nurtured myself through this very personal moment of hell. It took a number of months to get past the darkest phase, but as time passed, I could see that I was profoundly changing. I found a way to stand firmly on my own. I found a way to allow and enjoy everything life had to offer, without needing to judge each thing I faced. I began by making certain commitments; writing a blog about my experience for 365 straight days, giving up sugar (which has always been a bit of a crutch), going more than the extra mile in my job because I knew I was capable of that and saying "no" more often because I finally realized I didn't want to do things I didn't want to do anymore. I think I can sum all of this up in a few words, or a fitting analogy. You know when a bone has to be re-broken and re-set so that it can heal? I think that's what happened to me. I am the stronger and happier for it. Actually, it's almost hard to fathom my pre-break up life at this point. They say people can't change - well, that's crap. I've changed :) ... and I have the new and shiny life to prove it. Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Trusting that inner instinct

I've struggled with this one over the years. My brain says one thing, (usually the logical choice), but something in me is veering in another direction and I've often wondered if the resistance is fear or gut instinct? In hindsight, when I've listened to my brain's reason and ignored that niggling inner voice, I've ended up in the wrong place. A wise friend of mine shared a great story with me today. She found herself in an uncomfortable situation and deep down she wanted to leave, but her brain said "Maybe it's not so bad. Maybe I just don't get it." In the end, she trusted the discomfort in her stomach and ended up having a glorious time going with the flow and exploring the unknown. It seems that we should give ourselves the gift of enjoyment and free will, rather than the "musts" and "shoulds" of duty and obligation, which often limit our access to enjoyment in life. Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Law of attraction revisited...

I was listening to a radio show on attracting abundance today with author and wellness educator Gina Rizzo. I've read an awful lot on the topic and I have to admit I wasn't certain I would learn anything new? I love this person though... she has beautiful, healing energy and I enjoy hearing her talk, so no question I wanted to listen in to her radio session. I suppose I wasn't surprised that I felt immediately compelled to pay close attention. I learned a couple of things right away; confidence is not the same as self-worth (self-worth is a deep and natural acceptance and love of who we are, warts and all vs the confidence of being good at something) and adopting an abundance consciousness takes time and practice (I love Gina's analogy of filling a cup one drop at a time.... and over time, we can realize that beautiful overflowing feeling).

If you're as inspired as I was, check out Gina's tools and newsletters!

http://livinginabundance.ca

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Striving for ecstasy...

Go for broke I say. A sense of purpose and accomplishment (builds self-esteem), worthwhile love and hotness in a great connection (brings meaning and joy), more money and stability (reduces stress and creates more enjoyment in life), achieving greater success in whatever it is we do (expands sense of  self and deepens self-respect). Whatever fears we have to overcome and whatever pain we must face along the way, bring it on I say! .... these are things worth striving for! Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Setting the bar...

I don't think I'm the only person who's wondered just how much you can expect from a relationship and a partner? We meet people and it usually doesn't line up. Not even remotely. Then we meet someone and some things, or even a lotta things, line up and that doesn't end up being enough either. I've heard a lot of people talk about "settling" and I've heard people talk about how their partner "checks all the boxes" and yet a lot of those people sit dissatisfied, wondering if there's more? Well, the answer to that is yes... If we dare. Something interesting happened to me and for me in the last year. I was completely duped for one thing. Although my last relationship was not working, I certainly didn't expect to be played for a fool. Our relationship broke badly along the way, we both knew it and neither one of us seemed able to make the call. I suppose we had both been falling out of it for about nine months. Again though, I did not expect my partner (who I lived with) to move on without telling me and to deny the steamy affair until I confronted him with the necessary evidence. I just knew something had happened. I wasn't upset about the ending, but I was very disappointed in the way it was handled. Ok, whatever, enough said. Shit happens, people aren't perfect and everyone knows breaking up sucks the big one. I guess you can forgive a person for avoiding it, even when they have fallen in love with someone else and they're making future plans (fucking hell!). Anyhoo, moving on. Actually, happily, totally moved on now! Fewf! So I started seriously thinking about my past relationships and what I'd been "accepting". Well, I'll tell yah, not enough, that's for sure. It took me a while longer, processing and thinking about what I offer to a partner. What am I like in a relationship? What do I give and how do I treat someone I care about? When I realized I give away a lot of warmth, kindness, affection, acceptance, non-judgment, etc., I thought, gee I'd really like someone to give ME that... and nothing less actually. I was prepared to be on my own, for however long was necessary, until I met someone who treated me in kind. What a revelation. And guess what happened? As soon as I had these thoughts, I started having completely different experiences. Somehow, without realizing it, I raised the bar. I've had a pretty big smile on my face ever since and now I know for sure that settling is not necessary. That dream person is out there. Just sayin' ;) (Ps. Let me also say that I spent the last year learning how to be truly happy on my own. I committed to every aspect of my life and everything improved).

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Alone and stand tall...

There is sense of accomplishment and a lot of self-respect in feeling secure and grounded in and of oneself. To feel connected to and fulfilled in relationship with others, but to remain tethered to "self" is surprisingly empowering. This involves taking full responsibility for our own world/emotions/wants/needs (and making requests of others when we would like something), while allowing others to be who they are and to take care of their own needs and wants. Enjoying each other without obligation and expectation is so much nicer than some of the common tactics out there; blaming, sulking, complaining to others, guilting, the cold shoulder, emotional manipulation, dog house etc. Just sayin;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Sense of community...

This morning I am feeling a deep sense of gratitude for the people in my life, from considerate and thoughtful colleagues, to the friends at my regular coffee shop, to my long term comrades who know me 360 degrees. No matter what happens in life, when we can sit with our peeps, feel connected and enjoy sharing the universality of human experience... well, that's somethin'!

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Emotional hand cuffs: our "Love Code"...

Some fascinating wisdom from my favourite therapist....

"... even today few children or adolescents make it through their formative years and enter adulthood knowing, trusting, and being able to fully give themselves over to love. And, as a result, our adult love lives become problematic, dysfunctional and even destructive. The heartbreak, cynicism and withdrawal from life that result from broken relationships can shape or, moreover, tragically misshape many lives.

To be able to survive our formative years with an undiminished and unsullied capacity for true and lasting intimacy with another to remain intact, we have to have four emotional conditions met by our caregivers. In childhood - the most defenceless, vulnerable and dependent time of our lives - we had to feel reliably and consistently safe, loved, valued and known. Let's examine these fundamental ingredients more closely now, because their presence or absence in our developing consciousness has determined our Love Code... "

Curious to know more?? Check out www.joelbrass.com/newsletters

(Ps. good news is, we can reverse a lot of this early damage).

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Feel the heart, open the mind...

"The on-the-spot practice of being fully present, feeling your heart and greeting the next moment with an open mind can be done at any time: when you wake up in the morning, before a difficult conversation, whenever fear or discomfort arises... it is a way to claim your courage, your kindness, your strength. Whenever it occurs to you, you can pause briefly, touch in with how you're feeling both physically and mentally, and then connect with your heart - even putting your hand on your heart, if you want to. This is a way of extending warmth and acceptance to whatever is going on for you right now. You might have an aching back, an upset stomach, rage, impatience, calmness, joy- whatever it is, you can let it be there just as it is, without labeling it good or bad, without telling yourself you should or shouldn't be feeling that way. Having connected with what is, with love and acceptance, you can go forward with curiosity and courage... taking a leap."

Compliments of Pema Chodron, Living Beautifully.

I find great comfort in this. I hope you do too :) xo

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Parents...

Somewhere along the way, I have forgiven my parents. I realize, they're allowed to not be perfect. Did I suffer growing up?... yup. Did I turn out ok?... yup. To love our parents, no matter what?.... Ah, now that feels good... (and maybe it's an essential for emotional stability). Just sayin';)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Imperfect...

When we can allow people to be imperfect, including ourselves, now that's somethin! Just sayin :)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

How should love feel?...

"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage."

- Lao Tzu

It's taken me a long time to understand what love is and how it aught to feel. Some actions just don't say love. Am I right?

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Mutual discovery...

"Unless we are very, very careful, we doom each other by holding onto images of one another based on preconceptions that are in turn based on indifference to what is other than ourselves. This indifference can be, in its extreme, a form of murder and seems to me a rather common phenomenon. We claim autonomy for ourselves and forget that in so doing we can fall into the tyranny of defining other people as we would like them to be. By focusing on what we choose to acknowledge in them, we impose an insidious control on them. I notice that I have to pay careful attention in order to listen to others with an openness that allows them to be as they are, or as they think themselves to be. The shutters of my mind habitually flip open and click shut, and these little snaps form into patterns I arrange for myself. The opposite of this inattention is love, is the honouring of others in a way that grants them the grace of their own autonomy and allows mutual discovery."

Anne Truitt, Brain Pickings

Ah, to be accepted just as we are.... and vice versa of course ;) Now that's a gift.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Waiting for the other shoe to drop...

Things go wrong in life and there are ongoing glitches. We can get so used to the shit, that when things go right, or something fantastic happens, we can find we're holding our breath, just waiting for the next disappointment. I made a decision recently to not allow it;) I refuse to let my brain go to fear. I'm one of those people who believes in the self-fulfilling prophecy, so I'm not going to let my fears/thoughts invade my happiness and pending success. Just sayin;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Fulfilled, regardless...

For many years I heard people talk about going "within" to find happiness and fulfillment. Various helping professionals had similar guidance - "have your own back and watch your dreams come true" or "meeting your own needs is your biggest shot at true happiness" etc. I don't mind saying, I didn't get it. I didn't understand what that meant or how to do it. These words seemed like empty spiritual or self-help speak and I found it all kind of condescending frankly. Amazingly enough, I somehow landed on such a path. This did not come quick or easy. I found my "Self" and began owning my deepest needs and wants, while picking up the pieces of my career, finances and so-called love relationship. From the floor, I started over, one scrap of emotion at at time. By taking stock of my cobbled past, I have learned to understand myself and my choices. I now make decisions that support me in all of the important ways. I never imagined this would be the biggest accomplishment of my life. Of course, I will always place huge importance on my friends and family and I will always have a deep seated need to accomplish something meaningful. There are things I seem to need/want to accomplish. But I now put my own health, happiness and well-being first. I suppose I was looking to someone/something else to give me that level of love and security. It's an amazing feeling to enjoy meeting those needs for myself. Somehow this frees up a HUGE amount of emotion and energy for my personal pursuits and for the people I care about. I realize that enjoying people, rather than needing them to fulfill something in your life, is immensely empowering. Somehow there's more love to go around and more to give.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Our people...

Life is filled with a lot of work, to-do's, obligations, mundane activities. So when exciting and fun things happen, hold the phone! As we age, we realize more and more how rare some things are, like the truest and most precious of friends, being in love, having an f'ing good time, enjoying crazy adventures. When we're young, we can't wait to get older. Then we're getting older and we want things to slow down a little... because, wow, it really does go by fast. I think we need to hold onto every good moment and thing in our lives with everything we've got! ... because this is the best that life has to offer. Money definitely makes life easier and more comfortable, and who doesn't want more of it - but in my experience, it's the people and experiences that remain in our hearts forever more.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

The benefits of slacking off ;) ...

According to Megan Jones, Readers Digest, slacking off can make us more productive :) I like it! .... makes me feel less guilty about my need for naps and time outs, Lol.

Taking breaks:
"If you run and don't fuel your body, you eventually collapse... The same thing happens with work. If you don't rest, you'll crash. It may seem counterintuitive, but taking a break from the task at hand can jump-start your brain, boost your motivation and improve your focus. And as recent research shows, more inane distractions can have especially positive effects on our powers of concentration."

Taking naps:
"Having a snooze - even one as short as 10 minutes- can improve alertness, memory and cognitive performance."
Research indicates that the brain does some useful housecleaning in it's downtime, like classifying data and consolidating memories.

The power of cute:
Scrolling through pictures of cute baby animals online is not only good for the soul, but "might benefit your performance." A recent Japanese study showed a 34 % improvement in motor skills for subjects who viewed cute snaps vs a control group who were not shown baby animal photo's.

Browsing online (Facebook!):
Taking a few minutes to read funny little blurbs and updates from friends on Facebook can help your focus! Australian researchers found that workers who spent "20 per cent of their time during the day surfing the Internet were nine per cent more productive than peers who avoided cyberloafing altogether." (Note: more than 20 % surfing and productivity will likely go down).

Letting the mind wander:
They say we need to take a break so our minds can "cool down." Multi-tasking can apparently take it's toll on our mental energy. So! We're supposed to spend time with our heads in the clouds. Works for me, Lol ;)

Happy slacking everyone! ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

How good can it be?...

Does everyone else out there wonder just how much we can expect and hope for from a relationship? I mean, how good can it really be? What is realistic and possible? I've surveyed a lot of people, 'cause I'm curious about such things ;). I asked a lot of couples to rate their relationships out of 10 and the results were pretty interesting. Of the relationships that seem quite enviable, the score was 8.5 or 9 out of 10. Of the couples who seem to struggle, their scores were 7 or less. Clearly it should be possible to ask for and receive more fulfillment in our primary relationships. The disclaimer would be that we have to choose well up front because some dynamics are naturally easier than others. Another disclaimer is that I am no expert in this domain, Lol; ), having more than a couple of failed relationships on my resume! All the more reason to focus on this stuff though, right. I'm happy to report that I have learned a thing or two from my past mistakes and missteps. I now know how to ask for what I want and to not settle for less than that. Amazingly enough, I have come face to face with the potential for a 9+ out of ten;).... so now I know that it exists! I think I wasn't sure there for a while...  Just sayin'

Blessings,

Chatgirl

It's never too late...

Okay, gonna get serious, a bit heavy and perhaps sad, but with a great silver lining... because I'm an eternal optimist and I believe in a glass half full approach to life. I'll always find the good in something.

I've talked a lot about the baggage we all accumulate and it seems that the worse our beginnings, the more relationship drama we'll be faced with, unless we can do something about it. If we've suffered full-on abuse, of whatever severity, we're going to have to struggle to step around that in our future. If we haven't grown up with a kind, loving, warm, caring and supportive environment, we may not even have the awareness that we need to run far from that sort of thing in our future. Abuse can even be just needling or constant critiquing, which erodes our self-confidence and sense of self. I have suffered from such circumstances, unfortunately... When I look back on my relationship track record, it reeks of shaky foundation. Despite all the education, therapy, self-help, spiritual support in the world, I supposed I've had to learn the hard way about how I want to be treated. Better late than never, but I have to say that living abuse-free is a revelation. The contrast between troubled and drama-filled relationships vs fun/loving/supportive/warm/accepting ones is just crazy... and once you get it, you really get it.

From the depths of my soul, I wish us all real love and caring in our lives. I wish for us... people who appreciate us and treat us well. I wish for us unconditional love and acceptance for who we are today, with limitations and all. I wish for us the absence of abuse and mistreatment. I wish for us beautiful support and belonging. Anything less is just simply not good enough. Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Jump off the cliff...

"You've got to jump off cliffs all the time and build your wings on the way down."

- Annie Dillard

Yup, that's for sure. There's a great book called "Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway" by Susan Jeffers for those who want to do more cliff diving in life;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

How well do we know ourselves?..

"Till this moment I never knew myself."

- Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice

I suspect that we come to know ourselves more deeply as time goes by. We learn about ourselves from our experiences and our actions. It's good and bad and I suppose the challenge is in letting ourselves off the hook for not being perfect. Just sayin ;) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

"You have the answer"...

"At the center of your being
you have the answer;
you know who you are
and you know what you want."

- Lao Tzu

If we can find a few quiet moments and still the mind, I do believe this is true.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Men and women, cats and dogs, Lol ;)

I've put quite a bit of effort into learning about the differences between men and women over the last few years. There are a few excellent guru's out there - Allison Armstrong and Kim Sarasin to name a couple. There are actually courses you can take that outline not just the differences, but the fixes as well. It seems that we tend to misunderstand each other quite a bit. Women, in particular, tend to stew silently, somehow thinking or wishing that our guy could figure out what we need and want. We may not want to be needy or high maintenance, but our silence probably ends up being more damaging. Once in a while we need to take a chance and just ask for what we want... and guys, Kim Sarasin says that all women really want is your attention. Just sayin';)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Anxiety and insecurity...

I think we all have our moments. Anxiety and insecurity often pop up in the face of uncertainty and we all carry baggage from our past. This often looks like fear. Things have gone wrong and we've been road kill along the way. People simply do not have our best interest at heart at times because they're busy taking care of their own needs and wants. It would be nice if people could take due care with others, but it doesn't necessarily work out that way... so we get hurt. Time passes and the wounds may be less painful, but we never forget, especially in love. So when it comes time to lay our heart on the line again- yikes! Being fearful around love never really occurred to me, but my favourite therapist taught me about the implications of the old family of origin damage. If we've been deprived of a safe and loving environment growing up, we will likely find it hard to trust love in general, let alone individuals. You put two people together with shaky past experiences and you have a recipe for a lot of drama. I have it on good authority that we can improve our odds of romantic success if we look in our own back yard and dig up and heal some of the old stuff. This is not for everyone of course, but it definitely puts a good dent in the "triggers" that sabotage potential relationships. There is one disclaimer though... the same therapist says "Some things are just our legacy. We cannot change the parents we were born to, we cannot change the circumstances we were born into and we cannot change our past experiences"... so some things we simply have to know and accept about ourselves. Maybe knowing all of this up front can help us be more patient with ourselves and others. If we're compassionate and we listen to where our potential partner is coming from, we may realize some things are not about us or the relationship... they may be about past experiences and fears that don't apply today? We might be able to help each other and grow closer in the process. Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Taking care of number one - part two

Taking care of number one when we're single is pretty do-able I think. We have more time on our hands and for the most part we can focus on what we personally need and want on a daily basis. There's always work, friends and family stuff that we need to attend to, but overall it's probably manageable, time-wise. Things get more complicated when a relationship happens. To continue managing our own world and our own happiness can be a challenge, given new, and exciting additions to our calendar. I have to say, I've learned about all of this the hard way. In the past, I think I pretty much failed at taking great care of myself and owning my needs, let alone wants. A good therapist will tell us that we can easily revert back to old family of origin type paradigms when we open our heart to someone new. If we've been starved for love and affection in our early years, we may find ourselves almost over-functioning and giving too much. Sounds kinda sad when you say it cold and out loud like that. Ouch!.. but hey, better to be more aware and make a good change, than hide from our past mistakes I think, Lol ;) But, seriously, my favourite therapist says that for those of us who have abandonment/rejection/neglect issues, we have to be even more vigilant about checking in with ourselves and meeting our own needs... then the new romance can function separately and on it's own merit. It may just take some focus, attention and practice. There's a great book called Keeping the Love You Find, by Harville Hendrix that explains all of this. The book includes interesting and enlightening exercises that reveal patterns in our romantic relationships and the pitfalls we struggle with. For example, if we grew up neglected, we'll probably be a little frightened when faced with too much space in a relationship because we'll need more assurance. Conversely, if we grew up a bit suffocated and over-protected, we'll need more space and feel hemmed in if there is too much contact in our relationship. The book recommends practicing getting outside of our comfort zone, so that we can alter our potentially unhealthy tendencies and achieve a more natural and fulfilling balance in our relationship.... for the courageous warriors out there, of course... because I get that not everyone is into this sort of thing :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Saying good-bye and letting go...

There are so many cliche sayings that are supposed to help us cope and make us feel better, like letting something go (or being ok with losing something) so that something better can come along etc. I don't know if that stuff actually makes us feel better in the moment. When we're upset and struggling, maybe we just need to feel what we're feeling. What's so interesting though, is realizing how many of these so called cliche sayings have actual merit. I've suffered much disappointment over the years, particularly in relationships, and luckily I can see now that those experiences were not the end all-be all. I've learned a lot and I've shared wonderful time with good people, but truly when things don't line up, there's just nothing to be done about it (and I know for sure that a "match" needs to be "right" for us. In my experience, "settling" is not a road to fulfillment). My favourite therapist tells me good-bye's are a fundamental part of living and that rather than be sad, we should just do them well. Give due care and attention to the letting go process, be grateful for the valuable time with that person, wish them well and look forward to more meaningful and aligned connections to come. I like that :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Taking care of number one...

Taking care of number one sounds either selfish or self help'y. There is seriously something to this though... If we're good, content, grounded in who we are and what we're doing, chances are we're drawing good boundaries and we're doing a decent job of communicating in our relationships. If we're able to express what we need and want, there is so much less drama and we're probably minimizing doing things we don't wanna do out of duty or obligation. It's not always easy to pull this off because other people in our lives need things too, but at least we can think about it and decide whether we want to be obligated in that way or if our own best interest is more important. I've learned a lot about this recently and although I've had to let people down here or there, I have found a new sense of peace and calm. I think people understand when we need something for our health and well-being and things seem to work out somehow. Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Test of endurance...

What drives us? Life is a complex array of long term wants/goals and daily to-do's. It seems that in order to continue striving we probably need to find a way to detach and forget about the ongoing, long term battles we fight for our hopes and dreams (that frankly seem pie in the sky at times). I wonder how we do it? To keep hacking way with no sign of progress can be crazy making. I guess this is when we know something deep inside of us just has to succeed or manifest whatever it is that we really, really want and need in our lives. I think there's comfort in knowing we're in it together. These two quotes say it well.

"Endurance: It is the spirit which can bear things, not simply with resignation, but with blazing hope. It is the quality which keeps a man on his feet with his face to the wind. It is the virtue which can transmute the hardest trial into glory because beyond the pain it sees the goal."

- Anonymous

"Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.

- Arnold Schwarzenegger

Let's keep trying :)

Blessings,

Chatgirl