Why is denial not often talked about or admitted to? Perhaps we're in denial about being in denial;) The dictionary definition of the word is "refusal to believe a doctrine, theory or the like". So, what of it? What is so important about denial and why should we care? Therapists and support group systems will say that things we deny can be at the route of what troubles us. Even worse, denial can be at the route of things we're unwilling to look at that may be running and potentially f'ing up our lives. So, maybe this is something worth exploring...
Denial is no stranger to the addiction world. As the motto goes, "the first step is admitting there's a problem". If we don't have a problem, then all is good, right? Maybe not... what if there is a problem and we just don't want to see it... because if we admit there's a problem, what does that mean? Well, it might mean that we have to make a change, or even scarier, maybe there's a problem we can't fix... or there's something we need to fix and we don't know how or we just can't. That whole scary and potentially explosive time bomb can make a person pretty apprehensive and squirrelly. Makes sense for sure, but anyone who's gotten clean and sober will have a story about how life fell apart until there was nothing left, and in they end they had to deal with the whole denial thing anyway. So, maybe if we look under the hood once in a while and check for leaks, we may be able to prevent a whole lot of ugly fall out down the road. For instance, if we make believe that we're with the right partner all the way down the aisle and into family life, we can end up with a whole lot of pain, expense and potentially damaged children. Or if we keep telling ourselves we're "fine" when we're not, we can end up in a state of depression, job loss, unexpected break ups or any other number of devastating consequences. Why is it so hard to admit when there's a nagging issue? Not sure, but it seems that denial of our deepest truths may be our silent and/or hidden kryptonite.
Blessings,
Chatgirl
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