Who do you have to talk to about this stuff?…

Those fated words set me out on my path to mental, emotional and spiritual healing. And now I’m sort of addicted to “the work”, so that I may manifest even more joy, meaning and fulfillment in my life. Let me back up. I started dating a guy in my early thirties. I was very compelled by his vibrant energy and spirituality right from the start. He was reading all of these revolutionary books (more than just self-help or personal development. Very spiritual and profound) and he was working with a therapist on a regular basis, who he revered. We had a great time together, but it was more than that. He was deep and soulful. As the relationship progressed, we talked about our goals, dreams and desires for the future. Then we got into families and our upbringing, and this got sticky. There’s always been much drama in my family of origin and this is where my Achilles heel always has been, and remains, but to a lesser and lesser degree the more work I do. Fewf. My boyfriend quickly realized there were much deeper issues at play in my relationships and he drew a line in the sand. He made it clear that he was not going to be my sounding board with this deep drama and he recommended that I see the therapist he so valued. Fortunately, I agreed. I enrolled in a weekend workshop with this therapist and was instantly mesmerized. It was as though he could see right through every one of us in the room. Within the first hour, he had each of us taking a turn explaining why “in truth” we agreed to this weekend workshop. I immediately felt naked. When it was my turn he asked if he could coach me and I meekly said “ok.” I just knew this was gonna cut straight to my heart and soul. He diagnosed that I had a father issue, which meant that I had men issues in general and therefore I had relationship issues. Boom. He went further to say that I had love-ability issues from growing up in a household that was short on love, affection and appreciation. Pin drop. Needless to say, I was scared shitless. I was also hooked 100%. I dove as far into the deep end as a person possibly could and I’ve never looked back. The healing has been a long and drawn out process and the work will continue until my death because I value it so utterly and completely. I’ve learned to value and enjoy the relationship with my self above all others and this has led to a quality in my relationships that I couldn’t have imagined way back when. Just sayin’ :) I wish you the same gorgeousness in your relationships. Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl