Fear is an incredibly powerful and potentially debilitating emotion. Little do we know, fear is generally at the root of every relationship break down and romantic mishap. Unchecked, fear runs our love lives. The kicker of it is that we have no frickin' idea that fear is festering like a sliver, preventing us from happiness and fulfillment.
Try this exercise, if you're curious:
* Write down the names of every significant partner in your life
* Ask yourself if you chose each of these partners.
* If you did choose them, why? Was it because of how you felt, or some external desire, like how they looked, the money they made, not wanting to be alone, time for kids etc.
* Were you fully committed to these partners and them to you?
If after this exercise we realize that we are falling into romance without fully choosing and then we're not fully committed anyway, then we may have some work to do.
Joel Brass, relationship therapist contends:
1. We all have a Love Code (what we're used to from our upbringing- the amount of love re received)
2. We all have a Love Map (we will veer toward people who give us the same experience with love that we received as a child).
How scary is that?? But apparently, we can change this with some attention to our patterns. (Joel Brass offers profound relationship workshops in Vancouver and South Surrey - or check out his book Healing Your Relationship With Yourself).
Blessings,
Chatgirl
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