Are we sabotaging our relationships with neediness?

Falling in love is a universally powerful experience. This exciting new person opens us up to a whole new level of love, beauty and passion within. Our hearts open wide, we feel alive and we experience a blissful phase of "enlightenment". This is an intoxicating and thrilling experience and of course we want to hold onto it forever. We focus on this engaging person and how wonderful he/she is because we feel so great when we're with them. Fantastic! Happily ever after on the way, right? Whah!... We wish and hope, but in general, this phase gives way to a much less magical reality. Such a drag... really! Why, why, why???

Experts in the matters of love tell us this... We get lost in the "in love" feelings and begin to give our power away. We start to put our source of happiness outside of ourselves. Our love interest becomes something we want to hold onto and "possess". The relationship becomes a form of addiction, and as with a drug, we want/need more and more to maintain our romantic high. We focus on the personality and physical presence of the other person, rather than maintaining the feelings within us. The minute we do this, the energy in the relationship gets blocked. When we hold onto the experience this tightly, we actually strangle and close off the beautiful and energizing connection. Passion brings us together, but our neediness for that initial romantic "hit" takes over. When this feel good energy diminishes, we usually panic and hold on even tighter. We can spend years trying to recreate the falling in love euphoria... but the harder we try, the more it eludes us. Here's the good news... apparently, if we can let go, that precious and exhilarating love energy may begin to flow again, allowing us to experience that heightened level of passionate abandon again;) (For more info check out Living in the Light by Shakti Gawain).

Blessings,

Chatgirl