Our love/hate relationship with love

Everyone wants to be loved. Sure, we want to be liked by others too, but what we all crave from a very deep place is to be loved (and accepted) unconditionally. Right? Why is there so much drama in romance then? Sure, some people are looking for short term recreational and/or variety, but most people will admit, if pressed, that a true and wonderful love would be great. So why the drama??

Well, this takes us down a road beyond self-help, life coaching or the support of friends. Joel Brass, relationship therapist, would say that we are actually shit scared of love. Most of us have come from difficult homes and this has settled in like a relentless rash, Lol;)... only this is sooo not funny. The modelling from our childhood tends to have a profoundly lasting and damaging impact on how we engage romantically. Getting down to the nitty gritties, apparently we are terrified of being vulnerable and open because "love" hasn't gone so well in the past. When we're in an emotional relationship, we can be brought to the brink of cracking -which may explain that joke on the internet about women being a crazy of at least 4 on a scale of 1 to 10. (Ha ha, funny guys;) ). We desperately want to trust and enjoy our special someone, but something inside of us says "holy shit, don't open up, we could seriously get hurt here. This person could annihilate us on a very deep level". How incredibly sad is that.. and it's not like we have any rational or conscious awareness of feeling this way... but we can engage our defence mechanisms in a hurry when we're feeling affected by a new romantic interest. So, much as we may wish to fall in love and go to that place of reckless abandon, we may be in our own way... ugh. How un-romantic is that??? Good news is, maybe we can dislodge the old crap and find our way to that special someone. Most people have less than zero interest in looking at that old crap though... and that makes sense because it's not pretty;) ... but if we can embrace that wonderful person we're smitten with, shit, why not give it a try;) Just sayin'! Hugs.

Blessings,

Chargirl.