Inner Battle

We all live with indecision at one time or another and perhaps on an ongoing basis, which can be troubling. We're often dealing with competing voices within us and it can be very difficult to determine the best course of action. Worse than that, we can have a tough time just figuring out how we actually feel. It gets pretty crowded in our minds with all the "shoulds" and internalized judgments we tend to carry around. Apparently, we end up internalizing opinions that we've picked up from parents, coaches, friends, society. Beyond that, supposedly, we have different thoughts or needs within us that we may not even be aware of. Huhhh?

According to Hal and Sidra Stone, in Embracing Our Selves, we begin shutting down or diminishing our true nature from a very early age. We learn how we need to behave in order to be approved of by those around us. Particularly with parents, we need to "adapt" in order to get our needs met or to be accepted and treated with love. That sounds so horrible... but our parents didn't do this intentionally - they just taught us according to what they learned growing up. Awareness is supposedly key in uncovering how our natural tendencies may be different from what we've been doing for many years. If we can observe the internal chatter, we may get closer to our authentic selves, which should allow us to make decisions that feel right and more comfortable for us. If we're doing things because we think we should, rather than wanting to, we can lead ourselves and others down a path with serious consequences. How many of us have gone through with marriages or obligatory responsibilities, only years later realizing we were never actually comfortable. Then we stay longer or keep doing something that doesn't feel right because it would be embarrassing and maybe costly to reverse everything. The kicker though is that going against our true selves can actually make us physically ill, let alone unhappy. We can also hold other people up for years as we either ignore or remain unaware of how we're betraying our "selves". This is pretty heady stuff, but the book does a great job of explaining how we can investigate and deal with the complexity of what's going on in our heads. Very worth it if we can find some much needed peace and joy in life.

Blessings,

Chatgirl