What to say to a friend or loved one who is suffering.... not easy to know what someone needs when they're struggling. For that matter, we may not even know what we need in times of trauma.
According to Andrea Bonior, Ph.D. (Psychology Today and author of The Friendship Fix), here are the top 4 things not to say:
"I know how you feel" - even if we've experienced something similar, we will never be able to get inside someone else's thoughts and feelings ... and we want to avoid talking about ourselves at a time like this;)
"This is God's plan" - this can be confusing, unhelpful and even enraging to someone who's at a loss.
"If you need anything, give me a call" - apparently this is too vague and puts the burden of effort on an already burdened person. Instead, we could offer to do some simple chores, like grocery shopping, cooking, laundry etc.
"Perhaps the worst thing to say is nothing" - the disappearance of friends is common and is said to be the most painful response of all - probably because people just don't know what to say and don't want to say the wrong thing.
Blessings,
Chargirl
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