- Wouldn't it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes; come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller.
- Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven't met yet!
- I don't trip over things, I do random gravity checks!
- I don't need anger management. I need people to stop ticking me off!
- Old age is coming at a really bad time!
- When I was a child I thought nap time was a punishment .. Now, as a grown up, it just feels like a small vacation!
- The biggest lie I tell myself is ... "I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."
- Lord grant me the strength to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the friends to post my bail when I finally snap!
- I don't have gray hair. I have "wisdom highlights". I'm just very wise.
- My people skills are just fine. It's my tolerance for idiots that needs work.
- If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would've put them on my knees.
- The kids text me "plz" which is shorter than please. I text back "no" which is shorter than "yes".
- I'm going to retire and live off of my savings. Not sure what I'll do that second week.
- Even duct tape can't fix stupid ... But it can muffle the sound!
- Why do I have to press one for English when you're just going to transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?
- Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice.
- Oops! Did I roll my eyes out loud?
- At my age "Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.
Let's find reasons to laugh this year. They say it's really good for our health;)
Blessings,
Chatgirl
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Have you ever gone to a laughing yoga session? If not you should go; it's a unique experience :)
ReplyDeleteOh and I can totally relate to the one about not needing to write things down. It's so annoying when you can't remember that 'brilliant idea' you had 10min prior.