Where do we stand on living together these days? Are we opting for that trial run, or are we deciding it's better to make the commitment up front and head to the alter first? It's totally understandable to wanna test drive the day-to-day business of sharing a life together, but apparently, living together first does not guarantee a successful marriage down the road. Why is that??
Whether we're living together or going straight to marriage, the divorce rate continues to hover around the 50 % mark; 48% in Canada, 53 % in the US and as high as 71% in Belgium. Younger generations have opted to live together for a number of reasons, but often in the hopes of giving the relationship a trial run before marriage. Interestingly, the average age of divorce is 44 for men and 41 for women. In 1960 450,000 unmarried couples lived together and now the number is 7.5 million... and yet we're heading to divorce quicker and quicker, potentially younger and younger. So, statistics aside, why aren't we figuring things out a little better? According to Meg Jay, New York Times, we're not really communicating, Lol;) Couples often "slide" into cohabitation, rather than deciding on a committed move forward. One person may see moving in as a step toward marriage, where the other may see it either as a trial run or a way to push commitment further away. When couples start enjoying a lot of sleep overs, they may decide that it's both convenient and cost effective to share expenses... unfortunately breaking up can become very difficult - marriage or no marriage. There's nothing fun about dividing the shared possessions and mutual friends and then there are the hefty start up costs for a new place. Not enjoyable at all and so many people stay in troubled relationships, or stay too long because it's so unpleasant turning everything upside down. According to experts, we need to have a discussion up front. Not easy ... but maybe it's easier, and less costly overall, to have that awkward conversation at the beginning, rather than find our partner is not and was not thinking commitment. Apparently, if both people choose to live together, with long-term commitment in mind, the odds of success are high... but we all know how difficult these types of conversations are. Maybe we're afraid we're pushing the issue and that the other person will cut and run? Maybe we think the other person deserves a trial run and we can make things so great that we'll be loveable enough for the person to wanna stay;) Awww... ! Maybe we need to have more faith and love for ourselves. Maybe we need to know that we're a catch and that the right person would be totally cool with a conversation about the future... and if our person isn't cool with it, maybe we should be cutting and running ourselves, Lol;). Just sayin;) ... not easy to communicate, but it sure seems like we need to learn how if we're going to be happy in our relationships... and not waste a lot of time on the wrong ones. Hugs.
Blessings,
Chatgirl.
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