In recovery circles, I’ve heard this described as “going to the hardware store for oranges.” In this case, the hardware store is your parents and the oranges are the love and support you rightfully wish they could give you. Unfortunately, the hardware store simply doesn’t stock oranges. And we save ourselves a world of hurt when we learn to stop going to people for things they aren’t capable of giving us.
— Unknown
My favourite therapist taught me about the heart vs the brain. We can understand something logically, and try to lower our expectations, but the heart is another matter entirely. The “Inner Child” deeply craves love, affection and acceptance from parents and suffers without it. Of course you can create your own family with a loving partner, children, good friends and even colleagues. But the void of family is something to contend with. I’ve found group therapy (where most attendees are struggling with similar issues) to be quite helpful, given the unconditional acceptance and togetherness I’ve experienced. Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
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