The inability to receive support from others is a trauma response.
Your “I don’t need anyone, I’ll just do it all myself” conditioning is a survival tactic. And you needed it to shield your heart from abuse, neglect, betrayal, and disappointment from those who could not or would not be there for you.
From the parent who was absent and abandoned you by choice or the parent who was never home from working three jobs to feed and house you.
You learned along the way that you just couldn’t really trust people. Or that you could trust people. But only up to a certain point.
— Unknown
Early in my healing journey, my favourite therapist said “I have a feeling I am the first person, particularly first man, that you will ever trust.” He was right. The second person I had to learn to trust was myself. My therapist diagnosed me with a “broken compass.” He said “The issue is that you are avoiding the so called negative emotions, which are very important in making decisions and taking proper care of yourself.” I grew up with a lot of anger and violence, and not much resolution. Needless to say, I did not witness healthy communication/relationships skills. Fortunately, I was able to learn how to experience anger and frustration positively, to draw healthy boundaries and to act on my own behalf. It’s never too late to learn important people skills. It’ll change your life. Just sayin’:) Hugs and good luck. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
No comments:
Post a Comment