“Negative thinking” was never the problem, and “positive thinking” was never the solution.
DISTORTED thinking - - thoughts & beliefs about ourselves that have been mangled by what we went through or what we were told - - is what we have to chip away at to feel & function better.
— Dr Glenn Patrick Doyle (Psychologist in Illinois and the District of Columbia, and director of The Doyle Practice. Doyle equates emotional trauma with a dam being overwhelmed by flood water. “Our nervous systems fail when flooded by trauma… Floods happen. Trauma responses happen. No blame. No shame. We redesign and rebuild — as many times as we need to.”)
I found something particularly interesting in the individual and relationship weekend workshops (intensive group therapy sessions really) I participated in. My favourite therapist always managed to evoke big responses in all of us. He has his ways. For example, one of the exercises was to list the names we were called when we were growing up; your actual name, the name they called you when we were in trouble and any pet names. Just that alone would unearth experiences, good and bad and set the tone. From there, he would help us “chip away” at the old stuff, in an effort to reduce reactionary, and potentially relationship damaging habits. It worked for me in a big way. I bought in to soothing old wounds and acquiring new skills and my life has radically improved across the board. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
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