Our neurological makeup and life experiences both have a major influence on our willingness to act boldly when the need arises, but with practice, we can actively develop our courage. You can start with small moves. Miniature acts of assertiveness can help us grow accustomed to going out on a limb. And when you are feeling an urge to pull back, imagine the worst outcome and what might happen if you don’t act at all. Such a scenario may help put the stakes in full context.
— Manfred Kets de Vries (Dutch management scholar and psychoanalyst, Professor of leadership development and organizational change at INSEAD, and consultant. His work focuses on leadership and the dynamics of individual and organizational change).
Building courage indeed. I can relate, big time. I used to be terrified of conflict and anger. My parents had a very tumultuous relationship and things flew, if you know what I mean, Lol. Honestly, shrinking to near invisibility was a successful strategy in my family of origin and continued into adulthood. At some point, however, I needed to come clean and learn how to speak up. This took years and some genius relationship counselling and workshops. I learned that it is possible to “address” relationship issues with kindness, understanding, curiosity and love. I also learned that it’s possible to react emotionally, own it and ask for clarity, explanation and perhaps different boundaries and actions. With someone who’s interested in this sort of connecting, the results are quite beautiful and game changing. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
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