Let it out...

You can’t be strong all the time. Sometimes you just need to be alone and let your tears out.

- Unknown

My favourite therapist says we need to feel what we’re feeling in order to have a healthy relationship with ourself and others. Once we realize how we truly feel, we can make requests and say no when we need to. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Managing criticism...

There is only one way to avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.

- Aristotle

Giving feedback is a sensitive matter, even when it’s constructive? They say we’re supposed to be mindful of what we say and how we say it. For example, we can make a request for a different behaviour rather than complaining about something we don’t like. It’s interesting how we can critique others without a second thought, and then be devastated when we hear somthing unflattering about ourselves. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Be proud...

Don’t wait until you’ve reached your goal to be proud of yourself. Be proud of every step you take toward reaching that goal.

- Unknown

Big goals can be so intimidating. We don’t know how or if we can get through it. When I was in university, I used to give myself little milestones with treats at the end to get through a long weekend of study ahead. It helped a lot. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Open to change...

The measure of intelligence is the ability to change.

- Albert Einstein

We can become very set in our ways, can’t we. I definitely have a touch of the OCD, which becomes apparent when cooking or cleaning with my sweetheart. I don’t know whether it’s genetic, a means of controlling our environment, conditioning/auto-pilot from our upbringing or all of the above? I do know that it’s a revelation to learn new and easier ways of doing things. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

No is ok...

Learn to say “no” without explaining yourself.

- Unknown

My favourite therapist says we need to take care of ourselves and our word. He says we should refrain from doing things out of duty and obligation, unless we’ve made the thoughtful and generous decision to put someone else first on this particular occasion. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

The ironic...

Life is too ironic.
It takes sadness to know what happiness is,
noise to appreciate silence
and absence to value presence.

- Unknown

I would add “not love” to appreciate love. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

What you are...

The law of attraction is this: you don’t attract what you want. You attract what you are.

- Dr Wayne Dyer

My favourite therapist says we need to be prepared to take a lot more responsibility for what happens in our lives. He says if we want our lives to improve, we need to look at ourselves and make real changes to our mentality, our actions, our commitments/effort. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Freeing ourselves...

Fools take a knife and stab people in the back.
The wise take a knife, cut the cord, and free themselves from the fools.

- Unknown

Words to live by. I am somewhat embarassed to admit that I do struggle with the high road at times.
Although I own much of the responsibility for a past shitty break up (dragging my heals for faaaar too long on walking away from a mismatch), I still grapple with the bad after taste. For example, I avoid a chunk of my precious city because I don’t want to run into said cheaters ;) If I was in a formal confessional, I would also have to admit that a number of derogatory names and swear words come to mind when I look back on my humiliating experience. Having said all that, I also know what a waste of my usually sunny demeaner and outlook this is. Truly, I have better things to do with my time and energy. So! Moving on... for real. I’m determined! Just sayin :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Pebble in your shoe...

It isn’t the mountains ahead to climb that wear you down. It’s the pebble in your shoe.

- Muhammad Ali

My favourite therapist would agree. He says the trauma of our past (upbringing) is like a program in the background, running (or ruining) our most important relationships. He also says we can’t change where we come from, but we can certainly learn to better manage our “stuff.” The catch is, we may need to re-live that old crap somewhat before getting a handle on it. The journey of recovery tends to involve a waterfall of tears and discombobulation for a while. A road less traveled for sure. I learned how to invest properly in myself and my life choices. It was a subtle transition that produced sweeping and glorious changes; I am making more money than ever, I love my career, I met the love of my life and most importantly I feel content in and of myself, which takes the pressure off career/relationships/financial status/needing. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Capacity to love...

The capacity to be alone is the capacity to love.
It may look paradoxical to you, but it is not. It is an existential truth: only those people who are capable of being alone are capable of love, of sharing, of going into the deepest core of the other person - without possessing the other, without becoming dependent on the other, without reducing the other to a thing, and without becoming addicted to the other. They allow the other absolute freedom, because they know that if the other leaves, they will be as happy as they are now. Their happiness cannot be taken by the other, because it is not given by the other.

- Osho, Being in Love

This made no sense to me when I was younger. Only after a scary career free fall and relationship failures did I explore a deeper relationship with myself. I didn’t choose the experience, but I am profoundly grateful for the evolution. Don’t get me wrong, the journey was terrifying. Thing is, I can now proudly wear the badge of having overcome huge adversity and ending up at my dream life. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

It’s okay...

To protect your energy...
It’s okay to cancel a commitment.
It’s okay to not answer a call.
It’s okay to change your mind.
It’s okay to want to be alone.
It’s okay to take a day off.
It’s okay to do nothing.
It’s okay to speak up.
It’s okay to let go.

- Unknown

I think we’re conditioned to do things out of duty and obligation, perhaps right from childhood. We grow up having to do all kinds of things for our parents, for teachers, for employers, for friends and family. We’re taught that putting ourselves first is selfish. It’s a paradigm shift, but I think we end up with a lot more to give when we allow ourselves the time to rest and rejuvenate. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

The wonders...

We carry inside us the wonders we seek outside us.

- Rumi (a 13th-century poet whose influence transcends national borders and ethnic divisions. Rumi has been described as the ‘most popular’ poet and the ‘best selling poet’ in the US.)

When tested, we can be more innovative, creative, resourceful and resilient than we could have imagined. I have been in the position of having to prove this to myself. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

The strongest factor...

The strongest factor for success is self-esteem: Believing you can do it, believing you deserve it, and believing you will get it.

- Unknown

Someone recommended a great book called “Ask and it is Given” by Esther Hicks. The big take-away for me is the importance of believing. When I observe my thoughts, I see how often my mind worries. My brain gets tripped up in not being able to see the possibility. Luckily, I remember to replace doubtful/fearful thoughts with optimistic and faith-based ones. For example “hmm, what I want seems a bit pie in the sky, but I’m going to leave it up to the stars/luck/Universe and believe in miracles.” For some reason I have to work at maintaining strong faith. I should always believe, because I’ve experienced so many miracles in my life. So be it. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Tears...

Tears are words the heart can’t say.

- Unknown

My favourite therapist says we have to allow ourselves to feel what we’re feeling. From there we can extract important information to guide us. Just sayin’ :)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

The power of energy...

Energy is the currency of the universe. When you ‘pay’ attention to something, you buy that experience. So when you allow your consciousness to focus on someone or something that annoys you, you feed it your energy, and it reciprocates the experience of being annoyed. Be selective in your focus because your attention feeds the energy of it and keeps it alive. Not just within you, but in the collective consciousness as well.

- Emily Maroutian

This is easier said than done. The mind wants to review the list of fears and concerns. Our gut/heart may have all the faith in the world, but when our brain can’t reconcile the how, we can get hung up. They say to keep working at it; replace fear with optimism, “surrender” to a higher power or luck, replace negative thoughts with creative ones about how good things can happen. Just sayin’ :)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Setting intentions...

A very wise coach did me a huge favour about ten years ago. I was on a free fall in my career and finances after the 2008 crash and I was experiencing ongoing panic and anxiety. I’ll give myself credit for having decent coping skills. I would wake up early every morning, regardless of my work status and being paid half of my usual salary. I treated the coffee shop as my place of business and for a couple of bucks I could feel a sense of purpose. I would read the paper and write in my journal (something I’ve been doing since I was ten years old and what a lifeline). I worked out every day, another lifeline I’ve had throughout my life. My struggle went on a while and so I found a life coach who could help pull me out of this mess. I benefitted from the most simple and critical piece of advice, which brought me back to life. The coach said “you have to set your intentions. Every day write out how you want your life to look and feel. Write out how much money you want to make, what kind of relationship you want with your boss, what kind of schedule you want. You get the idea.” Now, I’m not going to say my miracle happened overnight, but it happened within the year. I found my dream job and began making more money than ever and in a very relaxed and joyful way. I was able to apply this advice to my romantic life as well, by the way, and an even bigger miracle happened in love. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Our difficulties...

Our difficulties and our dangers will not be removed by closing our eyes to them.

- Winston Churchill

In the spirit of Gary Oldman’s inspiring, Oscar winning performance in Darkest Hour, I thought I’d honour one of Churchill’s wise quotes. I’m a film junkie and I am in awe of Churchill’s critical roll in defeating Hitler. Just sayin’ :)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

To not think...

Sometimes the best thing you can do is not think, not wonder, not imagine, not obsess. Just breathe, and have faith that everything will work out for the best.

- Unknown

Easier said that done at times (like meditating for the first time). It’s pretty freeing and peaceful when it happens. Just sayin’:)

Blessings,

Lorna

Be a magnet...

You are a magnet.
When you become a magnet of wealth, you attract wealth.
When you become a magnet of health, you attract health.
When you become a magnet of love, you attract love.
When you become a magnet of joy, you attract joy.
You must become the magnet of whatever it is you want, to bring it to you.
Magnet comes first - manifestation is second.
Manifestation is the effect of the magnet of you.

- The Secret

I never understood this in my younger years and I still find it challenging to “put it out there” and hope for the best. Spiritual teachings instruct us to “surrender” to “God” or “Universe” and trust that we will be taken care of. I read a quote the other day that said something like “express your wishes and accept the Universe response of ‘not yet’ or ‘I have something better in mind.’” I really don’t know how this works, but I have experienced this “Universal Law” on more than one occasion and I would say it is nothing short of miraculous. I still have to work at it for some reason, but it’s worth it. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Vacation...

Ahhhhhh vacation. I’m in Hawaii indulging in the medidative waves, warm sun and distance from home-related stressors. It reminds me of how healing a get-away can be. We’re so “connected” all the time; work, bills, family obligations, our devices and social media. I wonder how much down time we’re getting. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl