What sort of relationship are we in? What have we chosen and why? Are we mistaking "neediness" for love? Are we mistaking care-taking for love? Or are we in a solid relationship of two separate and complete individuals who choose to share their lives together in a fulfilling and meaningful way? Do we reflect on our past experiences and ask these questions? Maybe not, unless we've been deeply hurt. If we decide we don't ever want to feel "that way" again, we can choose to perform an emotional autopsy on our romantic track record. We can beat ourselves up, or we can be grateful that we have another shot at getting it "right" and finding greater joy and fulfillment. It's no fun looking back and feeling like a failure in love, but better that than remaining in a dead relationship, in my humble opinion. I've conducted such an autopsy and, as a matter of fact, it's quite illuminating. I managed to end up being extremely honest with myself about what I need, want, can't live with, can't live without etc. Past relationships are a wealth of information about what it is that we should be looking for moving forward. I managed to make quite the list for myself, including a level of minutia that could seem down right nutty? Thing is though, I found exactly what I specified on my list, right down to the seemingly crazy specific... and then some even. Just sayin' ;)
Blessings,
Chatgirl
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