Everyone judges. It seems almost involuntary and a good therapist will say this is purely ego. A part of us never stops judging ourselves, everyone else and everything else. So! It's universal and normal. Doesn't mean it's cool or healthy to live there though, especially if there's ill intent ;)
Gregg Henriques, Ph.D., says in Psychology Today, there are eight dynamics in considering our judgments and that being judgmental has to do with being overly critical in an problematic, harmful and/or negative way. Here are the eight dynamics:
1. The empathy dynamic - it is crucial to understand where someone is coming from; their perspective, history and experiences.
2. The value-frame dynamic - respecting that others may not share our values.
3. The power dynamic - consider the influence we have on the person we're judging and the impact of our judgment(s).
4. The person vs. situation dynamic - we should consider potential variables that may justify someone's actions, even if the behaviour may seem unreasonable or imprudent.
5. The person vs. the act dynamic - a person may demonstrate a problematic act, but that doesn't mean this defines who they are.
6. The open vs. closed dynamic - to remain open because new information
may alter the way we judge a person/situation.
7. The shallow vs. expert knowledge dynamic - we may want to be better informed, rather than make snap and/or shallow judgments.
8. The optimistic vs. pessimistic dynamic - a balance of both is probably best.
So there you have it. If we're making fair judgments, rather than being judgmental, we're probably carefully considering all sorts of relevant stuff before digging into the negative... something most of us can probably work a little harder at :)
Blessings,
Chatgirl
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