Avoiding your triggers isn’t healing. Healing happens when you’re triggered and you’re able to move through the pain, the pattern, and the story — and walk your way to a different ending.
— Vienna Pharaon
I learned about “triggers” in group therapy/relationship skills weekend seminars (recommended by a couples counsellor, for a past marriage), by observing myself and others respond to in-the-moment friction. In a nutshell, I learned that my biggest reactions tend to be inexplicably linked to past trauma. For example, if someone tells me I’m “missing the point” in a discussion, this is like nails on a chalkboard for me. My Dad used to say it all the time (RIP pop. You were also brilliant in many ways and I thank you for arming me for success and happiness in life as well), and it was a confidence bruiser. After all the educational seminars, I can now kind of laugh off the whole “you’re missing the point thing,” rather than brim with anger. I still don’t like it, but it’s not going to derail me into the stinging emotion of the past and compromise my current relationship. (Ps. The seminars didn’t save that marriage, but they are certainly contributing to a fantastic relationship now, with the love of my life and awesome mate). Just sayin’ ;) Hugs. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
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