I know first-hand that taking yourself apart in an unflinchingly responsible and honest way to see where the real barriers lay to your experience of true and lasting intimacy can be difficult and painful. Yet there is only one alternative, and that, over time, proves to be more difficult and painful. It is to blame the other person; project the cause of all the frustrations and breakdowns of the relationship onto them; see yourself as their victim until you’ve had all that you can take; leave them; then begin the pattern all over again with someone new. Could a more foolproof formula exist for lifelong loneliness, alienation, confusion and dismay? I think not. When it comes to explaining the real cause of relationship breakdown this double-entendre maxim holds true: “If you don’t go within, you go without.”
— Joel Brass (Author, Individual, Relationship and Family Therapist and Seminar Leader)
I think he’s saying we’re either part of the solution or we’re part of the problem. I’ve learned a lot from Joel about taking responsibility for my end in things and building bridges in my relationships. The results are pretty miraculous. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
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