Making boundaries can feel impossible as a trauma survivor. Interpersonal abuse can teach you that disappointing others is dangerous, and pleasing others (at all costs) is the only way to achieve safety.
— Unknown
This explains a lot. I grew up in a pretty scary environment, and learned to duck for cover early on. My sister rebelled straight up and faced a lot of backlash (and some violence, which was hard to watch), and my brother did what he wanted, knowing the shit would hit the fan regardless. I was the youngest and felt that going along to get along was the safest route. I think this strategy served me pretty well at home, as I avoided the worst of it. As I got older, however, I settled into a chameleon’ish approach to relationships, trying to minimize conflict and friction. Needless to say, this did not serve my relationships, as I denied parts of myself. I was so set against anger that I handicapped myself and my relationships. Fortunately my ex husband forced therapy on us both, which set me on a brilliant path in life and love. Thank you ex! Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
No comments:
Post a Comment