Those wounds that were forced upon you were not your choice, but if you put them under a microscope, study them and learn from them, they can become a source of strength, wisdom, and empathy as unique as your fingerprints. You can use them to touch the lives of others.
— Unknown
My favourite therapist says some things are just our legacy and cannot be changed; where we were born, the kind of upbringing we had, the socioeconomic status of our beginnings, advantages or lack there of. I find this profoundly comforting. When I get “triggered” and spend time reliving the past, I remind myself that this was my reality, but I now have free will. I put the lid back on the box, set it up on the shelf and come back to the present moment. I say quietly, “sure, it’s sad that I didn’t have a touchy-feely relationship with my parents. Although this past is etched in stone, I can make choices, set goals and take the necessary steps to achieve them.” I’ve been able to create the kind of family I would have wanted by taking ownership of my past choices (analyzing the marital breakdowns), making the effort to learn new communication/relationships skills (being a part of the solution and learning to make requests) and choose a better suited mate for my nature, personality and lifestyle (no more outdoorsy guys because I don’t like camping or hiking, Lol). Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
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