Happiness that works for you…

The truth is, self discovery isn’t this comfortable, miraculous thing. It can get ugly, it can get confusing. It’s gritty, it’s hard. It’s difficult to confront yourself sometimes, it’s difficult to be the person who does things differently, who doesn’t settle. But it’s the greatest gift you will ever giver yourself. It will push you towards figuring out what your own personal version of happiness looks like; and when you grow on your own terms, when you figure out what actually matters to you, and when you carve out your own path, you live on your own terms. You love on your own terms. You become the person you always wanted to be, rather than the person you were always told to be, and that is beautiful. Because when it comes down to it — life is about making yourself proud on your own terms. It’s about finding a happiness that works for you.

— Bianca Sparacino 

My own journey of self-discovery happened somewhat by accident (although I am a psychology major with a passion for human nature and a coachable demeanour). My partner at the time, (and future ex-husband, Lol), had a voracious appetite for personal development. He was a willing sounding board (mostly family/relationship drama) for a bit, but inevitably said “who do you have to talk to about this stuff.” Line drawn. I really wanted this relationship to work, so I enrolled in a weekend workshop he recommended. I sat in an unfamiliar room with 15 strangers and wondered what the hell I was doing there. I was very uncomfortable, but most importantly I was scared shitless. As soon as the therapist (now my favourite therapist) introduced himself, I just knew he was gonna see right through me. It took about an hour, Lol and frankly I became mesmerized. I wanted to learn everything he had to teach. I followed, and still follow, this “work,” which is about understanding how we show up in our relationships and are either a part of the solution or a part of the problem. I can’t tell you how many new skills I’ve learned, but my biggest take away is being clear about my needs/wants and making requests, if/when needed, of those most important to me. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl