If you say this, they’ll actually listen..

 If you say this during a fight, they’ll actually listen:

• I’m not saying you did this on purpose, I just want to talk about the impact it had on me. 
• I know you didn’t mean to hurt me, but this is how it felt on my end.
• Can we pause for a second? I want to talk with you, not against you.
• I get that this is hard to talk about, but I don’t want to brush it under the rug.
• I don’t want us to be on opposite sides. I want us to figure this out together.
• I get that this is hard to hear, and I appreciate you listening.
• I’m bringing this up because I care, not because I want to blame you.

— Unknown 

A most unexpected outcome from therapy was the acquisition of new, transformational skills; the importance of addressing disagreements, how to gently, respectfully frame a difficult conversation, how to invite the other person to open up and be part of the solution. Fortunately, my favourite therapist teaches weekend seminars, and even a year long course, on communication/emotion and relationships skills (JoelBrass.com, and he coaches virtually, if you’re interested). Every aspect of my life improved because of these learnings. Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck. XO 

Blessings,

Chatgirl