I was my mother’s scapegoat.
I morphed into my family’s black sheep.
Eventually, I realized that the problem was not what kind of goat or sheep I was,
but rather, the sickness of the herd itself.
— Devon Carter, NarcissistandEmotionalAbuse.com
“Family Systems Theory” (introduced by psychiatrist Dr Murray Bowen in the 50’s) views the family as a complex system of interconnected and interdependent individuals, functioning as one emotional unit. What one family member does affects the rest. A child growing up in a loving and supportive household typically progresses to become an emotionally stable and socially prosperous adult. Conversely, a child in a dysfunctional family will likely develop antisocial behaviour and face numerous obstacles (and relationship issues!). I haven’t focused on Family Systems therapy per se, but the individual/couples therapy and group relationship workshops I’ve completed all highlighted the dysfunction in my family of origin. It’s been super hopeful understanding key psychological theories (and I have a psychology degree as well), but if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that factual information is great, but the emotional world is whole other ball game. Tackling long standing hurt, and a level of stress that holds up in the body, is very hard work. It’s a long game, and requires a wealth of time, consuming energy, and tangible cash. My favourite therapist always says this work is not for the faint of heart. Having said that, my healing journey led straight to the love, and perfect partner, of my life, my dream job, and more earnings than I could have imagined. Absolutely worth all the tears, weekends in a room with twelve plus other troubled souls, while others are out playing and relaxing, and the hard earned dollars that could have been spent on warm trips and fun filled adventures. Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
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