Lack of love...

Someone can love you desperately with their feelings and still not know how to love you correctly with their actions. 

— Unknown

My favourite therapist says we become “comfortable” (or used to or perhaps even programmed) with levels of love and affection based on our upbringing. He says, based on 40 years of individual/family practice and leading a multitude of seminars, that many of us likely received very little nurturing from our families. We learn about what love is not, rather than what love is and how to show it. So unless we evolve and grow, we may be doomed to more of the same. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO 

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Positive things will happen...

It takes the same energy to worry as it does to be positive.

Use your energy to think positive, and positive things will happen.

— Unknown

Positivity and gratitude are supposed to be super powers. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Dampened spirit?...

It doesn’t make sense to hire smart people and then tell them what to do,

We hire smart people so they can tell us what to do.

— Steve Jobs 

Here here. I must admit, I do NOT like being managed. Give me the target/goal and I’ll eat, sleep, dream it until I succeed. I’ll also welcome the opportunity to brainstorm with a superior or ask for help if I need it. Someone overseeing my every move tends to stress me out and sometimes dampens my spirit and possibly my performance. It feels good to express that out loud actually. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

We oscillate...

A balance that does not tremble cannot weigh. 

A person whose does not oscillate cannot live.

— Erwin Chargaff (Austro-Hungarian-born American biochemist, writer and biochemistry professor at Columbia University medical school. Through careful experimentation, Chargiff discovered two rules, called “Chargaff ‘s rules” that helped lead to the discovery of the double helix structure of DNA)

That makes me feel better about my decision making process, Lol. The actual definition of oscillate is: to vary or vacillate between differing beliefs, opinions, conditions, etc... so makes sense that we would change our minds, depending on our mood that day, what’s happening around us, learning new information, our past experiences. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Do what you have to do...

Do you what you have to do until you can do what you want to do.

— Oprah Winfrey

I’ve also heard “do your absolute best at what you’re doing now until you can do what you want to do.” I was basically scared sh- -less into doing just that. I’ve always had a killer day job, but my feet start going to sleep without new challenges. I’ve also been wanting to work for myself for a very long time. I am a very self-motivated, determined person and I tend to excel, so I don’t really like being managed. Being self-employed would allow me to passionately dive in, without companies/managers breathing down my neck. Unfortunately, becoming an entrepreneur has not been an overnight sensation and in the middle of all that, I was road kill post 2008 financial crisis. After floundering for a few years and narrowly escaping bankruptcy, I discovered a newfound gratitude for the security and freedom of my day job/career. I have since enjoyed the best, highest earning years of my career and received a few high profile awards. A VIP client noticed and I now have a very exciting entrepreneurial opportunity to consider. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl   

Passionate purpose...

Without self-discipline, success is impossible.

Period.

— Unknown

I just wonder... if we can’t bring ourselves to step up, maybe the goal isn’t in line with our passion and/or purpose? Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Remembering when...

Remember when you wanted what you currently have?

— @shehaus

I was remembering back to my early career days and what it took to get my very first job (through someone we knew in the end), and then what it took to get my first job out of college (checked the education box, but kept hearing I lacked experience. Thank you J.C. for taking a chance on me) and then moving up the ladder (kept hearing about lack of experience in that particular role!). Yup, it’s been a lot of striving and persisting. I remember well. We deserve kudos for all we’ve accomplished. Cheers to us! Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Celebrating inconvenient discomforts...

Poet Wendell Berry says “it’s the immemorial feelings” he likes best: “hunger and thirst and their satisfaction; work-weariness and earned rest: the falling again from loneliness to love.” Notice that he doesn’t merely love the gratification that comes from quenching his hunger and thirst. The hunger and thirst are themselves essential components of his joy. Work-weariness and loneliness are not simply inconvenient discomforts that he’d rather live without. He celebrates them, as well.

— Rob Brezny

This sounds much like the “too much of a good thing” notion. With the persistent Covid restrictions, I’m itching for face-to-face work meetings, work travel and rigorousness. Before Covid I would have given everything for a slow down and added rest. Now I tire of the rest, Lol. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

In progress...

Failure is success in progress.

— Albert Einstein

What continues to surprise me is the importance of communication and relationship skills, and not just in romantic relationships. Although my marriage didn’t work out, we both individually benefitted from counselling and life coaching. We learned about establishing a division of labour at home and agreeing on budget items. This coaching has been a blessing in all of my relationships. I’ve also realized that I need to keep refining how I say things, so that discussions are respectful, compassionate and collaborative. The effort is worth the beautiful outcomes. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

We mature...

We mature with the damage, not the years.

— Unknown

The painful moments stand out, don’t they. My favourite therapist says we should extract all the good information possible from those difficult times, as they help us refine our boundaries and make healthier decisions moving forward. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO 

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Our responsibility...

Your wound is probably not your fault.

But your healing is your responsibility.

— Unknown

I remember hearing something similar from a life coach I was working with and I found the notion somewhat shocking and unsympathetic actually. I remember feeling sort of abandoned, and by someone I was paying to support and guide me through emotionally tender times. I soon learned about the “victim mentality” however and my life changed overnight. In a nutshell, I learned that at some point we have to become the adult in our lives. We have to pick up where our parents left off and guide ourselves toward healthy and rewarding decisions. Personally, I’ve found checking in with a professional once in a while very helpful and worth every penny spent. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Your best teacher...

Your best teacher is your last mistake.

— @Motivating Force

Judging our past follies is unfair really. It’s a whole lot easier to make decisions with the pertinent information at hand. We typically have to choose flying blind. My favourite therapist says the key to a healthier, happier life is to focus on red flags and act earlier. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

 

Never give up...

IT’S HARD

TO BEAT

A PERSON WHO

NEVER GIVES UP.

— Babe Ruth 

Words to live by. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Social media and comparing...

Social media is training us to compare our lives, instead of appreciating everything we are. No wonder why everyone is always depressed.

— Bill Murray

I think a lot of us end up comparing ourselves to more successful/well off people ... we’re only human after all. Most people I know feel they should be further ahead and some feel they’re not living the life they imagined at all. Social media brings all of this into living colour, that’s for sure. But as my favourite therapist says, “some things are just our legacy. We cannot change where we were born, who our parents are and our socioeconomic beginnings.” I think we should cut ourselves some slack because I have a feeling we’re doing the best we can. We have feelings and emotions, past challenges/trauma’s and a general unfairness of life to contend with. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Kind to others...

Those who are going through hell and are kind to others..

they are my favourite kind of badass.

— Fuckology

Some people get bitter and angry, while others develop a profound sense of compassion and empathy. I too think the kind ones are hero’s. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Having our own back...

After suffering a humiliating and painful break about seven years ago, I went back to the relationship drawing board. My favourite therapist said, “actually, I think you’re almost there. You just need to have your own back — all the way.” In hindsight, I don’t think I completely understood what having my own back meant. I’ve come to realize that my upbringing left me unprepared in terms of setting healthy boundaries. (No offence Mum and Dad, I’m sure you did the best you could). Even just recently I had to take stock of what should stay on the to do list, what should go, and what should be added to support my energy level and nurture my soul. I ended up booking a weekend get away in my city with my sexy soulmate. Given promising vaccine roll outs, we also decided on an additional weekend get away as soon as quarantines give way, plus a Mexico Xmas. I also made the big decision to cook and clean less. What I spend on dining out is worth the mental health gain. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Listen...

There is a voice that doesn’t use words.

Listen.

— Rumi

Woman’s intuition, gut instinct, spiritual beliefs, blind faith, whatever your wanna call it. I’ve definitely found the little voice inside to be more genius than all the experience, knowledge, facts and figures put together. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

“The noblest weapon”...

Kindness is the noblest weapon to conquer with.

— Thomas Fuller 

I need to remember this notion on my grumpier days, Lol! I don’t know about you, but I kinda hit the wall late February. I’m not a fan of winter and the restrictions are really strangling my mojo. I think spring will help a lot. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Scars tell a story...

My scars tell a story. They remind me of when life tried to break me but failed.

— Unknown

I don’t know about you, but I feel my past experiences, particularly the “bad” ones, are now the building blocks of elevated confidence, self-esteem and capability. I got to see what I’m made of. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Covid pet peeves...

I don’t know about you, but I’m beginning to hit the wall. We have no choice, of course. All of these rules are in place for good reason. It doesn’t mean we can’t express our frustrations though! Aside from the big restrictions (no travel, no movie theatres, no socializing with friends/family!, no live events etc.), I’m finding some little things are starting to get to me as well; you can’t add your own milk in your coffee/tea, so you end up with either too little or too much,  you have to walk in a certain direction in the grocery store or you get scolded by staff or a cranky fellow shopper (I absolutely hate being policed by some random person), or you have to stand waiting right on the big dot on the floor, or again, some random person scolds you. Grrrrr. No wonder we’re all getting pretty cranky about now. Just sayin’ !!! Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl