“What matters most”...

One of the greatest paradoxes in American life is that while, on average, existence has gotten more comfortable over time, happiness has fallen... There’s nothing new about the idea that consumption doesn’t lead to happiness—that concept is a mainstay of just about every religion and many philosophical traditions as well... A group of my colleagues at Harvard show in their research that to get happier as we prosper, we need to change the choices we make with our financial resources. In an extensive review of the literature, they analyze the happiness benefits of at least four uses of income: buying consumer items, buying time to pay for help (by, say, hiring people to do tasks you don’t enjoy), buying accompanied experiences (for example, going on vacation with a loved one), and donating charitably or giving to friends and family. The evidence is clear that, although people tend toward the first, much greater happiness comes from the other three... subjects who reported having the happiest lives were those with strong family ties, close friendships, and rich romantic lives. The subjects who were most depressed and lonely late in life—not to mention more likely to be suffering from dementia, alcoholism, or other health problems—were the ones who had neglected their close relationships.

— Arthur Brooks (from the Atlantic article Are We Trading Our Happiness for Modern Comforts?)

I think I learned this most valuable lesson out of necessity. I survived the financial crash of 2008, just barely. I was a paycheque away from moving in with my Mum or sister. Jobs were scarce and the ones I could find were paying half of what I was used to. I had not choice but to stop spending for about three years. Quite the deal. Funny thing is, it kinda stuck. Many, many years later I still tend to not spend. I also think carefully about my purchases. Actually, even more importantly, I don’t even really think about shopping anymore. I still like to consignment shop, but I tend to sell/buy and end up mostly level. I spend more time on writing, thinking/daydreaming, reading, exercise, visiting with animals, communing with my sweetheart/friends/family/the locals at my coffee shop. I would say I work more, but in a different way. I focus on being of service to colleagues and customers. It feels good and there’s nothing missing. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl