Saturday, February 29, 2020

Worry or faith?...

There is not enough room in your mind for both worry and faith. You must decide which one gets to live there.

— Unknown

When I was left treading water post-2008 financial crisis, I learned a lot about managing the mind.  Although I’m not religious, I set up a daily routine and relied heavily on spiritual practice; yoga, writing out my hopes and dreams, writing out reminders of my capabilities and past accomplishments. I still had a few sleepless nights, but I didn’t allow my mind to fixate on worst case scenario. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Friday, February 28, 2020

To be understood...

Have no fear of perfection; you’ll never reach it. Nothing in life is to be feared; it is only to be understood.

— Marie Curie (Polish and naturalized-French physicist and chemist who conducted pioneering research on radioactivity. She was the first woman to win a Nobel Prize, the first person and only woman to win the Nobel Prize twice, and the only person to win the Nobel Price in two different scientific fields. She was also the first woman to become a professor at the University of Paris. During World War 1 she developed mobile radiography units to provide X-Ray services to field hospitals. She died at age 66 from exposure to radiation in the course of her scientific research and in the course of her radiological work at field hospitals during World War 1).

Even more impressive, given Marie Curie’s humble beginnings. My favourite therapist says we each have a legacy. We cannot change where we were born, who we were born to and our earlier financial status. He says we do, however, need to pick up where our parents left off at some point and govern ourselves as best we can. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl






Thursday, February 27, 2020

Work on inner peace...

I’m slowly learning that even if I react, it won’t change anything, it won’t make people suddenly love and respect me, it won’t magically change their minds. Sometimes it’s better to just let things be, let people go, don’t fight for closure. Don’t ask for explanations, don’t chase answers and don’t expect people to understand where you’re coming from. I’m slowly learning that life is better lived when you don’t center it on what’s happening around you and center it on what’s happening inside you instead. Work on yourself and your inner peace.

— Unknown

My favourite therapist says if we focus on communication/emotional skills, we will enhance our capacity for healthy relationships and making beneficial choices. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl


Wednesday, February 26, 2020

The most misunderstood cause of human suffering...

Trauma is perhaps the most avoided, ignored, belittled, denied, misunderstood, and untreated cause of human suffering.

— Peter Levine (Trauma therapist, and creator of Somatic Experiencing, a form of alternative therapy aimed at relieving the symptoms of PTSD and other mental and physical trauma-related health problems. The treatment focuses on the client’s perceived body sensations, or somatic experiences, which promote awareness and the release of physical tension that remains in the aftermath of trauma).

My favourite therapist says that trauma, when left untreated, sits in the background, running our lives and sometimes running our lives into the ground. Luckily, there are treatment options and some of them seem to be quite effective. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl




Tuesday, February 25, 2020

Fat loss pyramid...

If you want to lose weight, this fat loss pyramid shows what’s most important, from least important to most important:

Cardio (least important, but still important)
Sleep (still important)
Lifting weights (still important)
Protein intake (still important)
Calorie deficit - eating less/fewer calories (most important)

— Unknown

Great info! Wishing us resolve and good health in this very personal journey. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl


Sunday, February 23, 2020

Emotionally challenged...

Please understand this, Narcissists are severely emotionally stunted, underdeveloped adults. Regardless of how high mentally functioning they appear to be, they have the emotional intelligence of an angry, irrational young child.

— Unknown

It is estimated that 10 percent to 13 percent of the world’s population suffer from some form of personality disorder. Most personality disorders begin in the teen years, when the personality further develops and matures. As a result, almost all people diagnosed with personality disorders are above the age of 18. According to the most recent study, obsessive-compulsive disorder is the most frequent disorder, followed by narcissistic and borderline personality. Possible causes include genetics and environmental influences, such as early childhood abuse, violence, inadequate parenting and neglect. Psychotherapy is considered the main way to treat such disorders. If a loved one is not willing to seek  treatment, setting boundaries is recommended; make clear the kinds of behaviour that will not be tolerated and remove yourself from the situation when needed. Joining a support group and education about the disorder can be very helpful. If a loved one continues to cross boundaries, we are advised to consider keeping a safe distance.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Friday, February 21, 2020

Stop trying?...

There comes a time to stop trying to make things right with people that won’t own their part in what went wrong.

— Unknown

What do you do when those people are family though? Personally, I’m not good at being estranged. Somehow it feels worse. Maybe some people just can’t do better in this lifetime.  Just sayin’ :) XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Thursday, February 20, 2020

Connected, yet lonely?...

Social media has us more connected than ever, but loneliness is supposedly at epidemic proportions. This is said to be a factor in depression and/or anxiety. A recent body of evidence suggests that loneliness is worse for health than obesity or smoking. Some people are acquiring blocking software to assist in curtailing online habits. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Wednesday, February 19, 2020

Character building...

Manure creates the most fruitful garden.

— Anonymous

It is said that challenges, heartbreaks, betrayals and failures may enrich our lives in profound ways. The Dalia Lama says our most painful experiences allow us to feel genuine empathy (and not just sympathy) for others. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Monday, February 17, 2020

You matter...

Please don’t ever get tired of being a good person with a good heart... I know, it sucks being taken advantage of and feeling like it’s better to be cold-hearted, but people like you matter and are so important for the world.

— Anonymous

Do we continue our acts of love and generosity, even though some have been unwilling, or unable to reciprocate? My favourite therapist says in our primary relationships it’s all about equal commitment. Both people need to have “ten toes in the circle” or the odds are not great. If one person is less committed, the other person cannot make up the difference. He says under-giving and over-giving are both not love. Just sayin’ :) Hugs, XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Saturday, February 15, 2020

People change themselves...

You Cannot Move on Until You Accept This

* You will not receive closure in every situation, but you can create it for yourself.
* Most of what other people do is about them, not you.
* Some things cannot be explained.
* Some people won’t apologize because they can’t.
* You cannot change people, no matter how much you think they need to change. People change themselves.

— @Nedratawwab

What I’ve noticed is that change is hard, even with the desire and with professional help. We’re so entrenched in our defence mechanisms from our upbringing. Adding to that, most of us were probably hurt early in love as well. From the work I’ve done, safety and creating healthy boundaries seems to be at the core. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Friday, February 14, 2020

Feel the love...

In the course of your life, how many people and animals have truly loved you? Three? Seven? More?
I invite you to try this Valentine experiment: write down their names on a piece of paper. Spend a few minutes visualizing the specific qualities in you that they cherished, how they expressed their love, and how you felt as you received their caring attention. Then send out a beam of gratitude to each of them. Honour them with sublime appreciation for having treasured your unique beauty. Amazingly enough, doing this exercise will magnetize you to further outpourings of love.

— Rob Brezny, freewillastrology.com

I tried this exercise and I’m kind of amazed at how good it felt. My favourite therapist says that (based on his 40 years of practice) a lot of us growing up may have felt the most love from an extended relative or pet, rather than our immediate family. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl



Thursday, February 13, 2020

How you feel...

How you feel about yourself is everything.

— Unknown

My favourite therapist would say that how we feel period, is everything. He says most of us stuff (or drown, or eat, or ignore, or avoid) our feelings because we don’t know what to do with them, or they’re too painful, or we don’t feel we can do anything about them for many reasons. We may feel that duty and obligation overrule our needs and wants. We may have to compromise for our relationships and this is non-negotiatable. Whatever the case may be, if we allow ourselves to feel what we’re feeling, and express it out loud, that may be catharsis enough. Who knows, maybe there’s a solution we hadn’t thought of. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Wednesday, February 12, 2020

These pains...

These pains you feel are messengers.
Listen to them.

— Anonymous

My favourite therapist would agree. He says we should “mine” our anger/frustration/sadness for information. How are we feeling and why? From there we can consider making changes, drawing new boundaries, putting ourselves first. saying no more often etc. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Tuesday, February 11, 2020

Excuses, excuses ;) ...

Excuses are for people who don’t want it bad enough.

— Unknown

My favourite therapist says we should not be afraid of negative emotions. Should we manage them as best we can and in a constructive, rather than destructive manner. Of course. Having said that, emotions like anger and frustration can provide critical information, and assist us in making healthy choices. So maybe our excuses are legit. It seems that a lot of us make decisions to please others; our partner, family/extended family, peer pressure. Maybe some paths are simply not for us. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Monday, February 10, 2020

Judge less and love more...

No one
in this world is pure and perfect.
If you avoid people for their mistakes
you will always be alone.
So judge less and love more.

— tinybuddha.com

I’ve done some group therapy and it’s quite enlightening. You get to know people on a deeper level and soon realize that everyone has a story. Everyone is struggling with something. Most people are doing their best and most importantly, we all come to the table with wounds and quirks from our upbringing/life challenges. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl


Sunday, February 9, 2020

Survival skills...

I helped myself.
Wiped my own tears.
Put balm over fresh wounds.
Plastered parts of my heart that were still hurting.
Gave myself time.
Read books that soothed my soul.
Heard music that calmed my nerves.
Watched movies that made me smile.
Bit by bit. Piece by piece.
I put myself back together again and I gave
myself a second chance.
Because I knew that if I didn’t
then no one else would.

— Ruby Dhal, (Best selling author. She is known for her life-affirming poems about love, heartbreak, and healing).

My favourite therapist says we tend to look for something external to fill us up, to offer comfort and safety. He insists that we are the only ones who can truly save ourselves. Once we do that, we will be in a wonderful position to attract the things (and/or partner) we want and need in life. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Saturday, February 8, 2020

Your personal power...

Self care is how you take your power back.

— ericalambertlifestyle.com

My favourite therapist says if we can learn to manage our ego’s and reconnect with our inner child, we’ll have a better chance of realizing the life of our dreams. Otherwise, there’s likely a silent program, from our family of origin, running the background, sabotaging our efforts. (If you’re interested in learning more check out joelbrass.com). Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Friday, February 7, 2020

Slow process...

It’s a slow process, but quitting won’t speed it up.

— Unknown

It seems that many things in life take time, courage, learning, failure. My favourite therapist says that meaningful change (especially healing from old wounds) takes time, and is not for the faint of heart. So maybe we need to cut ourselves some slack when we crap out temporarily or permanently. I guess the question is, is the “it” important enough to us to continue, or not. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Thursday, February 6, 2020

New habits, new life...

The habits you created to survive will no longer serve you when it’s time to thrive.
Get out of survival mode.
New habits, new life.

Unknown

My favourite therapist says our ego’s develop, to protect us, when we’re very young. As we age, our ego’s may remain in protect mode, even when the situation doesn’t warrant it. He says we need to consider our actions carefully (rather than auto pilot, fearing there’s threat) and develop new relationship/communication skills if we aim to have better quality relationships. Otherwise, our ego’s can “protect” us to the point of not trusting and not letting people in. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Wednesday, February 5, 2020

Perspective shift...

I hate when people ask me ‘Why are you so quiet?’
Because I am. That’s how I function.
I don’t ask others ‘Why are you so noisy? Why do you talk so much?’
That’s rude.

— Fuckology

That’s hilarious. I’ve never thought of it that way. Great point! ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Tuesday, February 4, 2020

Good Karma...

~ Note to Self ~

“What is my purpose in life? I asked the void.
“What if I told you that you fulfilled it when you took an extra hour to talk to that kid about his life?” said the voice.
“Or when you paid for that young couple in the restaurant? Or when you saved that dog in traffic? Or when you tied your father’s shoes for him?”
“Your problem is that you equate your purpose with goal-based achievement. The Universe isn’t interested in your achievements... just your heart. When you choose to act out of kindness, compassion and love, you are already aligned with your true purpose.
No need to look any further.”

— Anonymous

My favourite therapist says it’s all about connecting with our fellow man in a deeper way. To that end, he says group therapy can do more for us than any other pursuit or helping option. We realize we’re not alone in our issues and we also learn greater empathy and compassion for others. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Monday, February 3, 2020

Choices...

Choice is the most powerful tool we have. Everything boils down to choice. We exist in a field of infinite possibilities. Every choice we make shuts an infinite number of doors and opens and infinite number of doors. At any point we can change the direction of our lives by a simple choice. It is all in our hands, our hearts, and our minds.

— tinybuddha.com

From everything I’ve been reading, we may have a bigger impact on our lives than we realize. The main themes are; what we eat (vegetables/protein/healthy fats/lots of water vs burgers/fried foods/soda/sugar/salt/booze?), what we spend our time thinking about (wishes/dreams/hope/possibility vs negativity/anger/defeatist thoughts?) and activity level (getting out for a walk vs Netflix surfing?). The movie Brittany Runs a Marathon does a great job of depicting someone who starts making different decisions and transforms herself and her life in the process. True story! Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl


Sunday, February 2, 2020

Planting the seeds...

Read this slowly:
Imagine your mind like a garden and your thoughts are the seeds. You get to choose what seeds you plant in it. You can plant seeds of positivity, love and abundance. Or you can plant seeds of negativity, fear and lack. You can also spend time trying to take care of everyone else’s garden. Or you can attract other beautiful people to your garden.

— Unknown

If we are what we think, we should make make it good. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl




Saturday, February 1, 2020

No accident...

Success is no accident. It is hard work, perseverance, learning, studying, sacrifice, and most of all, love of what you are doing or learning to do.

— Unknown

Luckily we get to choose. Maybe creating a loving family, finding the ideal partner, or finding amazing clan friends is success enough? Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl