Is it enough?...

Do we ask for enough in our lives? Do we come from a place of "not enough" and so we're used to doing without? Do we enter into and stay in relationships that are decent or just ok? Therapists talk a lot about cycles and how when we're used to certain things, we tend to find ourselves "allowing" more of the same because the familiar is somehow comforting, even when it may be toxic for us. The reason I bring this up is I've had a few major epiphanies post-betrayal break up. Most importantly, I was way off on my wants and needs. Somehow I wasn't honest with myself about the "musts" and the deal breakers. I was suffering in silence, not realizing I could ask for so much more. Clearly I was unaware of the degree of joy, tenderness, kindness, warmth, generosity and consideration available out there with the right person. So I middled along with decent relationships thinking "work"  and "communication" were necessary and that I needed to be "realistic." This is what we hear, right? I say, not so much! First and foremost, we can be clear about what we truly want and be willing to hold out for it. Then there's the issue of the right "match." We can probably hang out with a lot of different people, but in the long run a great partnership requires a whole lot more than some attraction and a few common interests - and I'm speaking from way too much personal experience, frankly. There may also be some validity to the saying "as within, so without." When we envision the kind of relationship/life we want to be living and hold onto that picture, odds are we're going to end up with what we want. Just sayin'....

Blessing,

Chatgirl