Is it just me, or do we seem to end up with the same drama in our relationships, however we may strive for a loving and healthy dynamic. We do a proper post mortem, think carefully about making a better choice next time and make that better choice, or so we think.... until we start to see things we don't like... and before long we're in the same sort of dynamic as the last relationship and the one before that?? What the hell?
According to Jed Diamond, The Conscious Person's Guide to Love Everlasting, we are at the mercy of our subconscious mind and our family of origin... ugh :( How much does that suck... If you check out this article, you'll find out more .... but this is it in a nutshell... we work with our conscious mind - we make our lists, we read books, consult a counsellor, do yoga, meditate etc - check! All good stuff. But!! Then there's the subconscious mind, which throws the hugest wrench into our well laid-out plans. Apparently, the subconscious mind has such sway over our conscious mind that it's the equivalent of a flea trying to move an elephant.. and our subconscious mind seeks to find what is familiar in order to correct the old "stuff"... so, if our father was critical and judgmental, leaving us feeling unloved and our mother MIA so that we felt neglected, we will end up recreating this in our love life! Seriously?!? ... I don't think anyone wants to believe this... but if we take stock, we may find some truth in the theory.... What do we do about it?? We are supposed to pursue "help" that can tap into our subconscious and heal some of the old, troublesome wounds (for example, EMDR is a treatment option that claims to achieve this)... so we can consciously choose well. Yikes... pretty scary stuff, but maybe a life saver if we're brave enough to face our old crap and get a handle on it. Hugs.
Blessings,
Chatgirl
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