Forget doctors - use these life hacks…

Forget doctors… Use these tricks

• Drink warm water before meals - boosts digestion and detoxes your gut
• Sleep before 11 PM - heals your brain and balances hormones
• Walk 30 minutes daily - strengthens heart, brain and bones
• Sit in the sun for 15 minutes - natural vitamin D = stronger immunity 
• Eat slowly, chew properly - improves digestion and prevents overeating
• Don’t use phones for 1 hour after waking - keeps mind calm and focused
• Have 1 fruit on an empty stomach - cleanses your system and energizes you
• Practice deep breathing for 5 minutes - reduces stress, anxiety, and blood pressure
• Keep your gut clean - your gut controls your mood, skin and immunity 

— Unknown 

I’m sure I can manage to incorporate a few of these. Why not! Just sayin’ ;) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessing,

Chatgirl 

Boundaries are essential for mental health…

Some thoughts on boundaries from a therapist:

• You are allowed to say no and still be a kind person.
• How someone reacts to your boundary speaks loudly.
• Boundaries are essential for your mental health.
• You shouldn’t be made to feel guilty for setting a boundary.
• Boundaries may be fluid and need regular editing.
• You are within your own rights to set a boundary.
• Boundaries should be respected.
• You do not need to over explain your boundary.
• Those who react negatively are often the reason why the boundary was needed.

— Unknown 

Well, I can tell you I didn’t learn a thing about boundaries growing up. My parents taught me some useful skills, but emotional intelligence and healthy relationship skills were not among them. I had to seek out such valuable skills via therapy and relationship workshops. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Be selective in your focus…

Energy is the currency of the universe. 

When you “pay” attention to something, you buy that experience. So when you allow your consciousness to focus on someone or something that annoys you, you feed it your energy, and it reciprocates the experience of being annoyed. Be selective in your focus because your attention feeds the energy of it and keeps it alive; not just within you, but in the collective unconscious as well.

— Unknown 

I’ve heard this expressed in many ways. For example, you hear “What you focus on expands”. So whatever we think about, and potentially ruminate about, can leave us stuck in negative and harmful thoughts and feelings. I certainly needed help getting past my final break up. I was stubbornly entrenched in anger and hurt when I discovered an affair, and big big betrayal, with someone from our inner circle. Even worse, I had actually betrayed myself. In truth, I had been moving away from the relationship for about a year, but just didn’t tell my partner, and I didn’t move out. So the person I was most angry with was me. My favourite therapist helped me understand why I dragged my heels on the break up. He also helped me understand that my choice of partner wasn’t a sound match from the get go. Yikes. Fortunately, I was able to readjust my compass, and understand what sort of person would fit well into my life. I ended up finding the love of my life about a year later, and we just had our 10 year anniversary this week. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Rescuing your self-worth…

Never get your sense of worth from outside yourself. Never fall into the trap of thinking that who you are isn’t enough, and that you need other people’s approval, love and validation in order to feel that you’re of value.

Never allow external things, places, people and circumstances to determine or tell you how much you’re worth. 

It’s called self worth for a reason.

— Luminita Saviuc/Power of /Wordz/ig

Unfortunately, my self-worth was legitimately compromised by my family of origin. Even though I was a top performer; Honour Roll student, Captain of the basketball team, scholarship winner, employee of the month twice at work, worked two jobs and tutored through high school and college, soloist for the bands and choirs, etc., I was tragically short on praise at home. My parents were highly focused on tough love, believing this was most important in raising high quality adults. I don’t mind tough love actually. I think it teaches a lot of accountability and ownership. But I wish there could have been more balance, with love, compassion and praise when fairly earned. This somewhat military upbringing left me feeling not good enough, regardless of the multitude of kudo’s I received outside the home. It’s taken a lot of therapy to overcome the lack of acknowledgement and appreciation I grew up with. And even still, I love my atta girls. So clearly self-worth is complicated, with deep roots and takes care and cultivation. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Let go of…

• Needing to have it all “figured out.” Embrace the reality of not having all the answers.
• Dwelling on what could have been. Focus on the opportunities and paths in front of you.
• Trying to please everyone. What’s most important is that you’re happy with yourself. 
• Being overly self-critical. Acknowledge your mistakes with a compassionate perspective.
• Trying to avoid mistakes. Failure is a natural part of learning, growth and success.
• Holding grudges. They hinder your happiness.

— Saba Powell, M.A., LPC, @curly_therapist 

My favourite line is “Failure is a natural part of learning, growth and success.” I also like “Acknowledge your mistakes with a compassionate perspective.” Personally, I’ve been beating myself up for not being further ahead financially, in career, and in lifestyle. I just thought I’d have more “success” and financial freedom at this point. However, I was also road kill during the 2008 financial crisis, which profoundly set me back. I’ve also been willing to take a LOT of calculated risks in pursuit of the ultimate entrepreneurial endeavour. And for that, I’ll give myself a big credit. I don’t give up! And I’m keeping my dream and vision of the perfect life close to my heart and soul. Wish me luck! Just sayin’ : ) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Are you a giver?…

If you are a giver, please know your limits

because the takers don’t have any.

— Unknown 

I’ve had to learn to take responsibility for over-giving, actually. My favourite therapist says this is a coping strategy that can be shifted. It feels good to take better care of myself, and to have life in better balance. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

 

Be clear…

Focus less on what you need to do, and more on what you need to be. 

Be clear.

Clarity is one of the most important keys to manifesting what you want. 

If your thoughts aren’t clear, then the Universe doesn’t know how or what to give you. 

— Unknown

Another thing I wish I could go back and tell my younger self. I can see where I wasn’t clear in my needs and wants in relationships. I can see where I wasn’t clear at work, in presenting a sound, and compelling business case for resources needed. I can see where I wasn’t even clear with myself about what I wanted and needed. Once I figured this out, wow. Game changer. I began to get exactly what I asked for, and then some. It’s sort of miraculous actually. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl