Magnet for miracles...

A grateful heart is a magnet for miracles.

— Unknown

They say when we’re feeling down, or defeated, think of all that is good in our life. Remember the special friends and loved ones (and maybe pets) who continue to be there for us, remember that we’re still alive and that our next miracle may be just around the corner. Above all, don’t give up. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Chemistry can be deceptive...

What attracts people, initially, is sometimes what breaks them apart in the end... A human being’s need to remaster attachment-trauma is profound, yet, because it is an unconscious tendency, people are not always aware that the attraction they feel for another person may be fuelled by a desire to heal painful childhood wounds. For example, if a person’s father was emotionally unavailable—meaning he constantly fluctuated between dismissive and rejecting to idealizing and controlling—the person may be drawn to a partner who operates similarly. The unconscious promise of remastering a painful childhood dynamic is exhilarating and intoxicating. Winning the love of a partner who unconsciously reminds a person of a rejecting parent offers a chance to eradicate the original pain.

— Erin Leonard, PhD, Why a Hot Relationship Can Quickly Turn Cold

My favourite therapist says that we will tend to attract suitors who are equally as capable and incapable of giving and receiving love, and it’ll always look like they’re the D student and we’re the B student. He goes so far as to say that if we go to a party, we’ll be attracted to a person who has a similar level of issues. We’ll think the more emotionally capable type is actually boring. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

A subtle leadership superpower...

We often associate leadership with qualities like charisma and bravado. But a body of research suggests that another, often quieter trait can pack a sizeable leadership punch: Humility. Students who were rated as humble outperformed even those with higher intelligence scores, reports BBC Worklife’s David Robson. And managers who display humility inspire greater satisfaction, engagement and collaboration among their staff. What gives humility such power? It opens our eyes to what we don’t know and pushes us to seek out new information. It also sends a message to others that it’s okay to do the same.

— Scott Osler, Editor at LinkedIn

A senior leader in my world has provided detailed information and transparency during Covid. He has also shown much patience, compassion and attentiveness during this challenging time. Personally, this has made me feel factored in, cared for and motivated to give back. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Home is where you belong...

Home is not where you are from, it is where you belong.
Some of us travel the whole world to find it.
Others, find it in a person.

— Beau Taplin

My favourite therapist talks a lot about how many of us did not grow up feeling safe. Our parents most certainly the best they could, and still we likely did not receive the unconditional love, protection and encouragement we needed. This can lead to our pursuit of connection and safety outside the family home. My favourite therapist also says our best friend and safe place growing up may well have been the family dog or cat. Explains the challenge finding a dog to bring home right now, Lol. Just sayin’ :) Hugs, XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Multitasking causes stress (on top of Covid!)...

According to research from the University of Houston, multitasking dials up stress levels, which can compromise our happiness and create fear. These feelings also tend to be contagious, so a one-thing-at-a-time approach is strongly recommended for the benefit us all. Personally, I’m finding this Covid time busier than ever, despite working from home. There also seems to be a constant layer of anxiety with the teenage-like grounded feeling and looming unknowns. When will there be an effective treatment? Will we find a vaccine and if so, how long will it take? 12 - 18 months is apparently optimistic and that’s a long way off, to say the least. I’m an optimist to a fault and yet I find myself a bit rattled. When will we get to hug people again? When will be get to travel again? Of course safety is first. Goes without saying. But the losses are real and they are significant, with industries and businesses in trouble. This is all quite intimidating, even for a glass-half-full girl like myself. Having said that, I keep thinking “this too shall pass.” We’ve survived 911, we’ve survived the financial crisis of 2008 and earlier generations endured frightening wars. So, I say, we can do this. We’re gonna get through this. Together. Hang in there everyone. Be strong. Love and lots of virtual hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Laughing is actually good for our health :) ...

According to J. Stewart Black, when we laugh, our brains produce endorphins and dopamine, which improve mood, relieve stress, and can provide a much-needed boost in motivation. As we are more inclined to laugh when others are around, creating interactions with friends/colleagues/loved ones may offer a welcome break from the seriousness we continue to face in these times. Just sayin’ :) Hugs, XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Willingness to show up...

The willingness to show up changes us.
It makes us a little braver each time.

— Brene Brown (Research Professor, Author, Public Speaker, Licensed Master Social Worker, PhD. Brown has spent her career studying courage, vulnerability, shame and empathy and has authored multiple books including five New York Times best-sellers: The Gifts of Imperfection, Daring Greatly, Rising Strong, Braving the Wilderness and Dare to lead).

In the sales world, they say half the battle is showing up. Come to think of it, the same is said about school and showing up to class. Reminds me of a summer course I took at college one year. I needed to work full time and so missed most of my classes. I studied like hell and pretty much memorized the text book, only to show up at the final exam and see a section devoted purely to in class lecture content. Whoops! I managed to pass decently well, but had I gone to class, an extra 20% was up for grabs. So, exactly what are we missing in our personal lives when we shy away? Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl