Toxic family rarely apologize. They would rather carry their denial to the grave than face the damage they’ve caused. In their minds, the pain they created was somehow your fault.
Sometimes healing means accepting the apology you’ll never get.
— Unknown
My favourite therapist helped me with “complicated grieving” after my mother’s passing. My mother was unwell physically and mentally during my upbringing, which left the bulk of household responsibilities to me and my sister. And from a very young age as well. I have pictures of us standing on chairs washing dishes at 5/7’ish years old. Into our adult years my sister and I got busy with our own lives, and my brother took a turn (he also lived at home until 30 years old). Shockingly, whey my mother died, she pretty much left everything to my brother, as though our work camp-like childhood never happened. This was a crushing moment with no possible resolution. Fortunately, I learned that there are ways of dealing with such cases. So I followed my therapist’s guidance and wrote various letters to my mother. We went a step further and wrote a bio, with an eye on her vantage point. It was a most pleasant turn to find empathy for my mother and her unique challenges. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs and good luck. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
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