Entertain a thought?…

It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.

— Aristotle 

I’m just thinking it’s so nice to be around someone who is open-minded and curious. Sometimes the info may be surprising and revealing, and other times perhaps perplexing. Either way, it’s refreshing to share ideas… in my opinion anyhow. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Even positive change can cause stress…

Change—even “positive” change—can trigger the hell out of trauma survivors.

We’re wired to be hyper vigilant about things we can’t predict and control—and our nervous system dosen’t much differentiate between whether a new thing is “good” or not.

— Dr Glenn Patrick Doyle (Psychologist, director of Doyle Practice and author of the blog UseYourDamnSkills)

Well that may explain why I don’t like change, Lol. Even getting a new wifi modem stresses me out. You have to change all your passwords and re-sign in, ugh. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

 

Watch how quickly your life upgrades…

Want to throw a glitch into the matrix?

When you get sad, listen to music you normally listen to when you’re happy.

If you get your heart broken, throw a party.

Didn’t get the promotion? Thank them as if you did and work as if you did.

Stop feeding the emotions of your environment. 

Your behaviour is coded and memorized through habitual patterns from your past. 

If you start to break them, you will break them. 

Your energy responds to you, not your circumstances.

Watch how quickly your life upgrades.

— Unknown 

I like it. I’m going to celebrate the couple of yucky things that just happened, and act as though I chose this new direction. Yucky or not, I have a feeling I’ve landed on the right path. (Some old, draining energy was jettisoned from my life. I was finding it hard to close the chapter, due to some nostalgic history, so I’ll thank the Universe/stars/fate or whatever for the assist). Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO 

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

 

Sit with it because healing happens by feeling…

Sit with it. 

Sit with it.

Sit with it.

Sit with it.

Even though you want to run.

Even though it’s heavy and difficult.

Even though you’re not quite sure of the way through.

Healing happens by feeling.

— Unknown 

My favourite therapist would agree. So today I’m letting the dust settle. (I’ve had a couple of crappy things happen lately). I’m letting the various emotions wash over me. It’s not super fun, but I do believe that feeling what you’re feeling is the way through. Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Things you don’t always have to be doing…

* Healing. Take a break. Put some of that emotional baggage down and rest.

* Changing. There will be dormant seasons. Let them be.

* Figuring out what’s next. Practice being present and in the moment. Even if we try to plan for tomorrow, it can turn out differently. Relax a little.

* Trying to fix things. Some things are what they are— more acceptance, less forcing.

* Working on yourself. It’s okay to be a work in progress, and it’s also fine not to be.

* Worrying. I know it’s hard not to worry. Take a deep breath and let ease find you.

* Being positive. Sometimes life and circumstances are hard AF. You don’t always have to “look on the bright side.” Feel all of your feelings versus trying to bypass them with toxic positivity.

— Alex Elle (Washington based bestselling author, wellness educator and podcast host. Writing came to Elle by way of therapy and the exploration of healing through journaling and mindfulness. Her newest book, How We Heal, provides a roadmap for tapping into your inner child). 

I don’t know about you, but this is the perfect wisdom for me today. In this moment, and on this particular weekend (at least), I am going to relax into taking a break, not fixing, and not planning. Just sayin’ ; ) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Don’t personalize other people’s behaviour…

Don’t personalize other people’s behaviour. What they do is not a reflection of you.

Their actions represent them and where they’re at in their growth.

Just observe instead of getting caught up and overreacting emotionally.

— Unknown 

I don’t know about you, but I’ve experienced some difficult post-pandemic fall out. To vaccinate or not to vaccinate was quite the polarizing issue, among other things. At one point, I decided to add vaccination to the list of things not to talk about, like politics and religion. But fractures happened none the less. So in honour of today’s quote, I’ll try to offer the space mentally and emotionally for others to be on their own path, which may be different from my own. Wishing you well, departed souls. Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Old things carry old energy…

Remove clutter as soon as possible.

There’s a reason you feel so good after cleaning

Your home is an extension of your aura.

Get rid of old belongings that aren’t aligned with who you are anymore. 

Old things carry old energy.

Broken things carry stuck energy.

Release them all.

— TheMindsJournal 

I’m all over this. I just tried on every garment I own and ended up giving three huge bags of clothes to good will. And I “found” a whole bunch of items I forgot I even owned. I feel like I bought a new wardrobe. Go figure, Lol ;) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

What we regret most…

I believe that what we regret most are our failures of courage, 

whether it’s the courage to be kinder,

to show up, 

to say how we feel, 

to set boundaries, 

to be good to ourselves.

For that reason, regret can be the birthplace of empathy.

— Brene Brown 

I don’t know about you, but for me, boundary setting has been a process. My parents were pretty overwhelming and we were not afforded boundaries. So fast forward to primary love relationships, a lack of knowledge and experience with boundaries, and you’ve got yourself a lot of bumps under the rug. Fortunately, I pursued relationship skills education (beyond my psychology degree), and figured out how to have meaningful and productive discussions with my partner. We invite each other to share what we’re going through, what we need, and what might be lovely. These conversations allow us to understand one another (creating much empathy) and deepen our bond more and more over time. Fewf! Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck. XO

Chatgirl 

Some things aren’t meant to be fixed…

I used to think I could fix anything in my life

if I just tried a little harder or gave it more time.  

But, some things aren’t meant to be fixed. 

Sometimes, all you can do is make peace with it and move forward,

knowing you did the best you could. 

— Unknown

Yes, a time to lay down the arms so to speak. I wish I could go back and tell my younger self. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

People who don’t feel safe…

I’m learning to re-identify people I don’t like as people with whom I don’t feel safe. 

It’s changed my entire perspective. 

— Michael Rupp

I like that. I’m going to do the same. Just sayin ;) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

 

Tone of voice sets the mood for what is said…

Tone can refer to both the use of words, and the style of communication:

1. Pitch - High/Low

2. Volume - Loud/Quiet

3. Pace - Fast/Slow 

4. Timbre - Attitude you bring (Quality)

Our style of communication sets the mood. We can also consider our style of internal communication. Are our thoughts loud (nagging), high pitch (anxiety causing), running around and around in our heads (stress provoking)? 

Taking a moment to observe our own tonality can help us become better communicators, and likely enjoy  better engagement with others. 

— paraphrased from “How your tone can change the mood of transformation” by Mel Ross (Scott-Taylor), Transformation Accelerator/Modern Leadership Mentor/Speaker

So, when my was Dad yelling, a lot, his message probability wasn’t always received, Lol. (Sorry, and RIP, Dad. You were actually a phenomenal teacher, anger and all). But seriously though, it makes you think doesn’t it? I’ve never seen “tone” broken down like that. “Pitch” and “timber” stand out for me. Are the words thrown out in anger and blame? Worth pondering for sure. Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

20 Changes to improve yourself…

1. Wake up early each day

2. Make a plan for the day

3. Eat health (LOTS of veggies)

4. Do something to sweat

5. Meditate/pray

6. Do one kind act

7. Do one creative action

8. Get outside for one hour

9. Organize one area

10. Put away your laundry

11. Tidy up your home

12. Engage in a conversation

13. Throw away1unused item

14. Work hard

15. Write down your goals

16. Disengage with toxic people

17. Write a gratitude journal

18. Read/listen to a podcast

19. Get adequate sleep

20. Drink LOTS of water!

— LOWDOWNLIFE.COM

I’ll take the spring cleaning items. I’m going to purge some unused items and better organize my closets one at a time. I feel freer already, Lol. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Life changes…

Life changes. 

You lose love. You lose friends.

You lose pieces of yourself that you never imagined would be gone.

And then, without you even realizing it, these pieces come back.

New love enters. Better friends come along.

And a stronger, wiser you is staring back in the mirror.

— MyPositiveOutlooks.com

I don’t know about you, but there’s been much trial and error in my relationships, friendships and career. I finally managed to nail down my deal breakers, priorities/needs and compatibility. Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Energy givers…

Sunlight

Dance

Whole foods

Hydration

Consistent sleep pattern

Nature

Music

Movement

Resting

Fresh air

Decluttering

Future planning

— Unknown

So, I’m noticing there’s no smart phone surfing on the list, Lol. I challenge myself to focus more on the above list. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

 

Deep inside, you know what you want…

Listen to your own voice, your own soul

Too many people listen to the noise of the world, instead of themselves

Deep inside, you know what you want, let no one decide that for you.

— Unknown

I think my favourite therapist would say, listen to your heart and soul, and quiet the noise inside as well. We all have a brain/ego, sort of vs the heart/soul. This is what I’ve learned anyhow. I absolutely know that what my ego wants (bigger, better, more) doesn’t necessarily fulfil my heart and soul (fulfilling friendships, a more peaceful, zen life, way more time off for fun adventures). I’ve been told I have a city brain, but a country heart. Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

You can be twice as rich…

You can be twice as rich 

by deciding you need half as much.

— Sahil Lavingia (Author, investor, Founder and CEO of Gumroad, an e-commerce platform that allows creators to sell products, such as e-books, music, video’s, software and physical goods, directly to their audience. Lavingia started designing websites in high school and became financially independent at 15. In 2021 Lavingia published his first book The Minimalist Entrepreneur: How Great Founders Do More With Less, drawing from his Gumroad start-up journey of ups and downs. At one point he went from 25 employees to 1, himself, and persevered to profitability). 

I learned this lesson the hard way ;) When you have to live on less (job loss), you find a way. Once I learned to live on less, I kind of never went back. I now live hugely below my means. It’s amazing how your bank account grows, and the freedom this brings. Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

 

Put an end to what is toxic to our well being…

If your heart hurts a little after letting go of someone or something, that’s okay. 

It just means that your feelings were genuine. 

No one likes endings.

But sometimes we have to put things that were once good to an end after they turn toxic to our well being.

Not every new beginning is meant to last forever.

And not every person who walks into your life is meant to stay.

— Najwa Zebian (Currently pursuing her Doctorate in Educational Leadership, Zebian is a Lebanese-Canadian activist, author, poet, educator, and speaker, based in London, Ontario. Zebian rose to fame on Instagram through sharing her instapoetry and gained popularity during the Me Too movement along with her subsequent TEDx talks and interviews on Canadian news outlets such as CBC, Entertainment Tonight, among others. Zebian draws from feelings of displacement and heartbreak, and addresses themes of love, friendship, honesty and identity. Some of her works are; Mind Platter (initially self-published), The Nectar of Pain, and Sparks of Phoenix, a recounting of her journey in healing from abuse and rebuilding). 

I’m not very good at endings, even when I know it’s absolutely for the best. I guess you just have to go through the painful mourning process, and know you’ll get to a better place. Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

5 foods that increase anxiety (and cause health/gut issues)…

If you can get the nervous system to relax, you can calm the overthinking and lower anxiety/stress levels.

Your gut is responsible for creating neurotransmitters that alter your mood, serotonin in particular. If your gut is bogged down by junk food or inflamed it can be difficult for it to make those happy neurotransmitters. Food has the ability to affect your mood. 

5 foods to help shut off that fight or flight nervous system response:

1. High histamine foods (alcohol, aged meats and cheeses, leftover meat, vinegar)

2. Caffeine (increases blood pressure and doubles the stress hormone cortisol. Weaning off caffeine is better than cutting altogether, as the body needs time to adjust)

3. Sugar and carbs (spikes glucose, which doubles adrenaline. Has been shown to cause erratic behaviour in children and anxiety in adults. Sugar also feeds bad gut bacteria, and can have detrimental effects on your health). 

4. Gluten (causes inflammation, stimulates the nervous system and can cause leaky gut, allowing for autoimmune disorders and gut infections)

5. Dairy (up to 10% of people are lactose intolerant. Can cause inflammation, gut irritation and kick the nervous system into high gear. Can cause brain fog and sinus infections as well). 

— thehealthyconsultant.com (excerpt, paraphrased from March 22 2023 article) 

Interesting, and some new information for me. I’ve had gut/digestive issues my entire life and have absolutely noticed a sensitivity to all the above. It’s not easy avoiding these yummies! But I know I feel a million times better even just reducing consumption. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Believe in miracles…

Stay strong and believe in miracles.

Your blessings are coming.

Claim it with faith.

— Unknown

I’m not religious per se (sporadic Catholicism growing up, depending on my mother’s mood, and ability to get out of bed Sunday morning, Lol), but I do believe in having faith. I also choose to believe in miracles. I think I’m ok with a bit of pie in the sky thinking because it makes me feel hopeful and happy. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

You kept going…

May you never forget that when it was hard, and you were overwhelmed, and felt afraid, and walked alone, and felt invisible, and didn’t have the answers, and couldn’t see the way, and wanted to give up… 

you kept going.

— Nakeia Homer (Social worker, best selling author, Life Purpose Coach and wellness and trauma-informed educator). 

I’m all about inspiration and pep talks. (Sometimes I let myself sulk a bit too, Lol). Just sayin ;) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

 

Haven’t clearly expressed yourself?…

If I did something wrong, communicate. 

If I hurt your feelings, make me aware of it.

If I didn’t listen well enough, tell me again in a way I’ll understand.

If I’m insensitive to your needs, to your desires, 

or to your thoughts, tell me so I can consider them.

However, don’t ever hold an attitude with me because you haven’t clearly expressed yourself.

I’m not a mind reader.

— Sylvester McNut 

I’m feel fortunate, and very grateful, to have learned how to clearly and respectfully communicate in a treasured relationship. Just in time for my perfect partner! Fewf. It wasn’t always this way, which may explain my two divorces, Lol. I used to sulk silently, or get defensive and/or sit in a hurt place for a while. I now understand how to “invite” a great discussion, so that both people can share their experience, their thoughts, their feelings, their needs and their desires. Having said that, some relationships just seem at odds, at the core. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

I choose…

To live by choice, not chance

To be motivated, not manipulated

To be useful, not used

To make changes, not excuses

To excel, not compete

To choose self-esteem, not self-pity

I choose to listen to my inner voice, 

not to the random opinions of others

— Unknown

Boy did I learn the first point the hard way. I left important aspects of my life somewhat unattended and paid dearly. My previous relationship was flailing and I sat idling. In my defence, I wasn’t 100% positive I should throw the baby out with the bath water. But, in truth, I knew the relationship was emotionally unfulfilling. In career, same thing. I was in a pretty secure, well paying job, but the company culture was a bad fit for my personality and disposition. Again, in my defence, I can appreciate why I put off the whole job search/interviewing/new position learning curve ordeal. Problem is, when you don’t act on your own behalf, life has a way of just happening TO you, and not in the way you would want or choose. I’m proud, and relieved, that I know how to have my own back. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

 

Faith leaps over hope…

I don’t believe in hope. 

Hope is a beggar. 

Hope walks through fire. 

Faith leaps over it.

— Jim Carrey 

Personally, I love hope. It makes me feel good. But I love the idea that faith leaps over hope. And thinking back, when I’ve been absolutely certain about achieving something, I’ve succeeded. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Three Life Rules…

1. If you don’t go after what you want, you’ll never have it.

2. If you don’t ask, the answer will always be no.

3. If you don’t step forward, you will always be in the same place.

— Unknown

Agreed. Having said that, I’ve been pursuing entrepreneurial endeavours for a loooooong time now. So far, no success. But I’ll keep trying, in the hope that I can, at some point, achieve the laptop lifestyle (working from a beach during winter) that I’ve always envisioned. Keepin’ the dream alive. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl