Forgive yourself for not knowing…

Apologize to yourself. 

Take a moment today to apologize to yourself for how you treated yourself in the past. Apologize for not realizing that you were worthy of more, for not treating yourself with respect, for not accepting help, for being too hard on yourself, for not believing in yourself, for not speaking up, and for settling for less than you deserved. When you apologize to yourself and you find forgiveness, you will begin to release any remnants of shame associated with your previous unconscious actions, freeing you to start doing better and getting better.

— S G Ruddy 

I would add: forgive yourself for not knowing a different/better way. For me, I didn’t know how “perfect” a relationship could possibly be. My earlier relationships were far more peaceful, loving and respectful than my parents’ dynamic. So I thought I had chosen well. When my second marriage failed, I went back to the drawing board. Aside from therapy and life coaching, I conducted my own little experiment. I interviewed couples who seemed to have a fantastic, successful relationship. I asked them to rate their relationships out of ten. The couples I admired gave their partnership 8.5 or more out of 10. I also spoke to couples who seemed to struggle and they gave their unions 7/10 or below. I took this learning and set my heights on a better overall match. It worked. With a lot more in common and an easier relationship dynamic, I’ve found a sweet, loving life partnership that doesn’t crumble under life’s challenges. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl