Have your own back...

Be there for others, but never leave yourself behind.

— Dodinsky

A number of years back, my favourite therapist said “I think you’re on the right track. You just need to have your own back, all the way.” These words have had a lasting and profound impact on my life. I chose to revisit professional guidance after a particularly difficult break up. I was determined to NEVER go through that again, ever! In order to accomplish this, I had to figure out why my relationships were ending and even more importantly, how to choose a truly suitable partner. This journey led me to THE Aha moment of my life. There’s compromise and then there’s compromising oneself; compromising on what brings joy, compromising one’s values, compromising on passionate/ romantic love, compromising on having a family/choosing not to have a family. I learned that I would rather be alone than be in a relationship for the sake of companionship. From there, I put pen to paper and began defining the perfect match for me. My second Aha moment was giving myself permission to be completely honest about myself, my life, the things I like/love doing, the things I hate doing and never want to do again, the qualities I want in a partner (inside and out), my priorities now and in the future. I went a step further and wrote out a similarly detailed and transparent roadmap for my career and overall life. This was the proverbial turning point for me and I am grateful to report a glimmering and fulfilling outcome in love, life and career. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl