You have to learn to care about people without taking on all their problems.
— Unknown
My favourite therapist advises checking in with ourselves on a daily basis as a self-care routine. He starts every session by asking what are you feeling today - top three emotions? Beyond that, he strongly advises writing to/for ourselves each day, so that we’re in touch with our thoughts/feelings/needs. Once we’re clear on our needs, we may choose to assess our boundaries and make changes and/or requests of those around us. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Tuesday, March 31, 2020
Monday, March 30, 2020
Temptation to run away...
I don’t know about you, but I’ve thought about running away more as an adult than I ever did as a child.
I can relate. I run away all the time, Lol... to a matinee, to a work out, to a friend, to something mindless like solitaire, to shopping for a beautiful new garment, to the Catfe where I can play with kittens.. and then I remember the saying “no matter where you go, there you are.” My favourite therapist says the only way out is the way through, meaning at some point we may want to consider the benefits of professional guidance in unloading some those heavy bags we’ve been carrying around for a lifetime. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
— Rebel Circus
I can relate. I run away all the time, Lol... to a matinee, to a work out, to a friend, to something mindless like solitaire, to shopping for a beautiful new garment, to the Catfe where I can play with kittens.. and then I remember the saying “no matter where you go, there you are.” My favourite therapist says the only way out is the way through, meaning at some point we may want to consider the benefits of professional guidance in unloading some those heavy bags we’ve been carrying around for a lifetime. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Sunday, March 29, 2020
Have your own back...
Be there for others, but never leave yourself behind.
— Dodinsky
A number of years back, my favourite therapist said “I think you’re on the right track. You just need to have your own back, all the way.” These words have had a lasting and profound impact on my life. I chose to revisit professional guidance after a particularly difficult break up. I was determined to NEVER go through that again, ever! In order to accomplish this, I had to figure out why my relationships were ending and even more importantly, how to choose a truly suitable partner. This journey led me to THE Aha moment of my life. There’s compromise and then there’s compromising oneself; compromising on what brings joy, compromising one’s values, compromising on passionate/ romantic love, compromising on having a family/choosing not to have a family. I learned that I would rather be alone than be in a relationship for the sake of companionship. From there, I put pen to paper and began defining the perfect match for me. My second Aha moment was giving myself permission to be completely honest about myself, my life, the things I like/love doing, the things I hate doing and never want to do again, the qualities I want in a partner (inside and out), my priorities now and in the future. I went a step further and wrote out a similarly detailed and transparent roadmap for my career and overall life. This was the proverbial turning point for me and I am grateful to report a glimmering and fulfilling outcome in love, life and career. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
— Dodinsky
A number of years back, my favourite therapist said “I think you’re on the right track. You just need to have your own back, all the way.” These words have had a lasting and profound impact on my life. I chose to revisit professional guidance after a particularly difficult break up. I was determined to NEVER go through that again, ever! In order to accomplish this, I had to figure out why my relationships were ending and even more importantly, how to choose a truly suitable partner. This journey led me to THE Aha moment of my life. There’s compromise and then there’s compromising oneself; compromising on what brings joy, compromising one’s values, compromising on passionate/ romantic love, compromising on having a family/choosing not to have a family. I learned that I would rather be alone than be in a relationship for the sake of companionship. From there, I put pen to paper and began defining the perfect match for me. My second Aha moment was giving myself permission to be completely honest about myself, my life, the things I like/love doing, the things I hate doing and never want to do again, the qualities I want in a partner (inside and out), my priorities now and in the future. I went a step further and wrote out a similarly detailed and transparent roadmap for my career and overall life. This was the proverbial turning point for me and I am grateful to report a glimmering and fulfilling outcome in love, life and career. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Saturday, March 28, 2020
Self-care strategies...
I’ve been through many terrible things in my lifetime and some of them have actually happened.
— Mark Twain
Though strict and thoughtful measures are required to protect our physical health and well-being and those of our loved ones, another critical part of this crisis is the absolute need to take care of our mental and emotional health. Emotional healing work and spiritual practices such as mind-training and self-relaxation (breathing and meditation) and self-care strategies can be extremely useful in not allowing ourselves to succumb to our own, significant others’ and the collective’s (i.e. newscasters) fears, anxieties and panic.
— Joel Brass (Individual, Relationship and Family Therapist, Seminar Leader, Author of Healing Your Relationship With Yourself, which is available on Amazon Kindle and Kobo)
Thank you Joel for your genius and tireless generosity of spirit in guiding so many people to peace, emotional/health and well being, and often glimmering relationship and career success.
Blessings,
Chatgirl
— Mark Twain
Though strict and thoughtful measures are required to protect our physical health and well-being and those of our loved ones, another critical part of this crisis is the absolute need to take care of our mental and emotional health. Emotional healing work and spiritual practices such as mind-training and self-relaxation (breathing and meditation) and self-care strategies can be extremely useful in not allowing ourselves to succumb to our own, significant others’ and the collective’s (i.e. newscasters) fears, anxieties and panic.
— Joel Brass (Individual, Relationship and Family Therapist, Seminar Leader, Author of Healing Your Relationship With Yourself, which is available on Amazon Kindle and Kobo)
Thank you Joel for your genius and tireless generosity of spirit in guiding so many people to peace, emotional/health and well being, and often glimmering relationship and career success.
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Friday, March 27, 2020
The law of nature...
Change is the law of nature. Nature loves change because it itself is changeable. Since nature is changeable so this entire world keeps changing. Like a tree shedding its old and dried leaves, then becoming laden with new ones. Similarly, a man must also change. Irrespective of how intelligent and wise he be, if he doesn’t change according to the changing nature, he perishes or lags behind in the race of life.
— Unknown
It’s amazing what can be accomplished and how we can adapt when people come together. Fingers crossed that the globe is able to flatten the curve sooner than later. Stay safe and best wishes everyone. Hugs. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
— Unknown
It’s amazing what can be accomplished and how we can adapt when people come together. Fingers crossed that the globe is able to flatten the curve sooner than later. Stay safe and best wishes everyone. Hugs. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Thursday, March 26, 2020
A gentle life...
What if I accept that all I really want is a small, slow, simple life. A mediocre life. A beautiful, quiet, gentle life. I think it is enough.
— Unknown
I like the idea of giving ourselves permission to be who we are, to like what we like, to do things that make us happy. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
— Unknown
I like the idea of giving ourselves permission to be who we are, to like what we like, to do things that make us happy. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Wednesday, March 25, 2020
Close quarters...
In these challenging times, a lot of us are working/living at close quarters with our partners/family/friends. I read a great article on how to manage the friction that inevitably comes with our particular habits and quirks. The therapist recommended creating and naming a fictional roommate/colleague and using this person to air grievances. For example, a couple named their roommate/colleague Judy and anytime something came up they’d blame it on Judy. “Can you believe Judy keeps leaving dirty coffee cups all over the house.” Ha ha ha. “I didn’t realize Judy was such a chocoholic. I noticed all the wrappers.” Lol. I think that’s hilarious. My partner and I have totally adopted this suggestion. The first thing he said was “I don’t know if everyone in the office was consulted on turning up the music.” He he. He was joking of course, but we both agreed it was funny and worked like charm. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Tuesday, March 24, 2020
The sky is clearing...
Yes there is fear.
Yes there is isolation.
Yes there is panic buying.
Yes there is sickness.
Yes there is even death.
But, they say that in Wuhan after so many years of noise
you can hear the birds again.
They say that after just a few weeks of quiet
The sky is no longer thick with fumes.
But blue and grey and clear.
They say that in the streets of Assisi
People are singing to each other across the empty squares,
keeping their windows open so that those who are alone
may hear the sounds of family around them.
They say a hotel in the West of Ireland is offering free meals
and delivery to the housebound.
Today a young woman I know is busy spreading fliers with her
number through the neighbourhood
So that elders may have someone to call on.
Today churches, Synagogues, Mosques and Temples are preparing
to welcome and shelter the homeless, the sick, the weary.
All over the world people are slowing down and reflecting.
All over the world people are looking at their neighbours in a new way
All over the world people are waking up to a new reality
To how big we really are
To how little control we really have.
To what really matters.
To love.
So we pray and we remember that
Yes there is fear.
But there does not have to be hate.
Yes there is isolation.
But there does not have to be loneliness.
Yes there is panic buying.
But there does not have to be meanness.
Yes there is sickness.
But there does not have to be disease of the soul.
Yes there is even death.
But there can always be a rebirth of love.
Wake to the choices you make as to how to live now.
Today, breathe.
Listen, behind the factory noises of your panic.
The birds are singing again.
The sky is clearing,
Spring is coming,
And we are always encompassed by love
Open the windows of your soul
And though you may not be able to touch across the empty square,
Sing.
— Richard Hendricksen (Brother Richard in Ireland, March 13th 2020)
Beautifully said. Thank you Richard Hendricksen. Be safe everyone. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Yes there is isolation.
Yes there is panic buying.
Yes there is sickness.
Yes there is even death.
But, they say that in Wuhan after so many years of noise
you can hear the birds again.
They say that after just a few weeks of quiet
The sky is no longer thick with fumes.
But blue and grey and clear.
They say that in the streets of Assisi
People are singing to each other across the empty squares,
keeping their windows open so that those who are alone
may hear the sounds of family around them.
They say a hotel in the West of Ireland is offering free meals
and delivery to the housebound.
Today a young woman I know is busy spreading fliers with her
number through the neighbourhood
So that elders may have someone to call on.
Today churches, Synagogues, Mosques and Temples are preparing
to welcome and shelter the homeless, the sick, the weary.
All over the world people are slowing down and reflecting.
All over the world people are looking at their neighbours in a new way
All over the world people are waking up to a new reality
To how big we really are
To how little control we really have.
To what really matters.
To love.
So we pray and we remember that
Yes there is fear.
But there does not have to be hate.
Yes there is isolation.
But there does not have to be loneliness.
Yes there is panic buying.
But there does not have to be meanness.
Yes there is sickness.
But there does not have to be disease of the soul.
Yes there is even death.
But there can always be a rebirth of love.
Wake to the choices you make as to how to live now.
Today, breathe.
Listen, behind the factory noises of your panic.
The birds are singing again.
The sky is clearing,
Spring is coming,
And we are always encompassed by love
Open the windows of your soul
And though you may not be able to touch across the empty square,
Sing.
— Richard Hendricksen (Brother Richard in Ireland, March 13th 2020)
Beautifully said. Thank you Richard Hendricksen. Be safe everyone. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Monday, March 23, 2020
Life is a juggling act...
Imagine life is a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air. They are Work, Family, Health, Friends and Spirit and you’re keeping all of these in the air.
You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. It you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls - Family, Health, Friends and Spirit - are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for it.
Work efficiently during office hours and leave on time. Give the required time to your family, friends & have proper rest.
VALUE HAS A VALUE ONLY IF IT’S VALUE IS VALUED.
— Shortest speech by CEO of Coca Cola (30 second speech by Bryan Dyson, Former CEO of Coca Cola)
My favourite therapist would say if we take care of health and spirit, all areas of our life will improve. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. It you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls - Family, Health, Friends and Spirit - are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for it.
Work efficiently during office hours and leave on time. Give the required time to your family, friends & have proper rest.
VALUE HAS A VALUE ONLY IF IT’S VALUE IS VALUED.
— Shortest speech by CEO of Coca Cola (30 second speech by Bryan Dyson, Former CEO of Coca Cola)
My favourite therapist would say if we take care of health and spirit, all areas of our life will improve. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Sunday, March 22, 2020
Write your future...
You can’t re-write your past, but you can grab a clean sheet of paper and write your future.
— Unknown
I worked with a powerful life coach who followed the principles in A Course in Miracles (by Helen Schucman). She taught me about overcoming the “victim mentality.” In a nutshell, although we may have been victimized in our childhood, this is now, unfortunately, our stuff to deal with. If we want to live a healthy and happy life, we need to pick up where our parents left off and be the strong and capable adult in our lives. There is absolutely no shame in asking for help. The right professional just might save one’s life, or at least be a trusted guide through the healing and recovery process (which can be quite long). Personally, there’s no way I’d be living the life of my dreams without my treasured coaches (traditional therapist, EMDR specialist, Body Talk/Cranialsacral practitioner). Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
— Unknown
I worked with a powerful life coach who followed the principles in A Course in Miracles (by Helen Schucman). She taught me about overcoming the “victim mentality.” In a nutshell, although we may have been victimized in our childhood, this is now, unfortunately, our stuff to deal with. If we want to live a healthy and happy life, we need to pick up where our parents left off and be the strong and capable adult in our lives. There is absolutely no shame in asking for help. The right professional just might save one’s life, or at least be a trusted guide through the healing and recovery process (which can be quite long). Personally, there’s no way I’d be living the life of my dreams without my treasured coaches (traditional therapist, EMDR specialist, Body Talk/Cranialsacral practitioner). Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Saturday, March 21, 2020
Changing the world...
Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.
— Leo Tolstoy
My favourite therapist says working on ourselves (emotional/relationship/communication skills) is the road less travelled. People tend to seek professional assistance in this area only when absolutely necessary. I was one of those people way back. I wanted my relationship to work and was willing to do anything to save it. Interestingly, couples counselling did not save the relationship, but it certainly saved me. Our therapist offered a disclaimer right off the top. He said that couples therapy allows each individual to be more true to themselves, which will either strengthen the relationship, or highlight the problematic differences. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
— Leo Tolstoy
My favourite therapist says working on ourselves (emotional/relationship/communication skills) is the road less travelled. People tend to seek professional assistance in this area only when absolutely necessary. I was one of those people way back. I wanted my relationship to work and was willing to do anything to save it. Interestingly, couples counselling did not save the relationship, but it certainly saved me. Our therapist offered a disclaimer right off the top. He said that couples therapy allows each individual to be more true to themselves, which will either strengthen the relationship, or highlight the problematic differences. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Friday, March 20, 2020
Novel or ingenious solutions...
You will be surprised to know how far you can go from the point where you thought it was the end.
— Unknown
Plato has been credited with the phrase “Necessity is the mother of invention.” Being a glass half full person, I have a feeling novel or ingenious solutions will prevail. Hugs. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
— Unknown
Plato has been credited with the phrase “Necessity is the mother of invention.” Being a glass half full person, I have a feeling novel or ingenious solutions will prevail. Hugs. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Thursday, March 19, 2020
Adaptable to change...
It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is most adaptable to change.
— Charles Darwin
History certainly shows us that; the industrial revolution (which replaced workers with machinery and automation), the information revolution (computers, replacing manual methods), and now the technological revolution (in which one or more technologies is replaced by another in a short period of time, causing an abrupt change in society). Looks like we need to be prepared for anything and everything these days. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
— Charles Darwin
History certainly shows us that; the industrial revolution (which replaced workers with machinery and automation), the information revolution (computers, replacing manual methods), and now the technological revolution (in which one or more technologies is replaced by another in a short period of time, causing an abrupt change in society). Looks like we need to be prepared for anything and everything these days. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Wednesday, March 18, 2020
Accept - then act...
Accept—then act. Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it.
Always work with it, not against it... This will miraculously transform your whole life.
— Eckhart Tolle
In these unprecedented times, we have no choice but to work within the safety guidelines set out for us by the WHO and governing bodies. If we pull together, hopefully we can bring about the best possible outcome for the global community. Stay Safe! Hugs. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Always work with it, not against it... This will miraculously transform your whole life.
— Eckhart Tolle
In these unprecedented times, we have no choice but to work within the safety guidelines set out for us by the WHO and governing bodies. If we pull together, hopefully we can bring about the best possible outcome for the global community. Stay Safe! Hugs. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Tuesday, March 17, 2020
Miracle of surrender...
Forgive yourself for not being at peace. The moment you completely accept your non-peace, your non-peace is transmuted into peace. Anything you accept fully will get you there, will take you into peace. This is the miracle of surrender.
— Eckhart Tolle
I figure this is a good time to read some inspiring and calming words. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.
Blessings,
Chatgirl
— Eckhart Tolle
I figure this is a good time to read some inspiring and calming words. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Monday, March 16, 2020
Surreal times...
Empathy has no script. There is no right way or wrong way to do it. It’s simply listening, holding space, withholding judgment, emotionally connecting, and communicating that incredibly healing message of ‘you’re not alone.’
— Brene Brown
These are unprecedented times. Perhaps all we can do is stay connected, in whatever way we are able. Stay safe everyone! Hugs. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
— Brene Brown
These are unprecedented times. Perhaps all we can do is stay connected, in whatever way we are able. Stay safe everyone! Hugs. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Sunday, March 15, 2020
Home sweet home...
Home is not where you are from, it is where you belong.
Some of us travel the whole world to find it.
Others find it in a person.
— Beau Taplin
My favourite therapist would agree, I think. He says our family of origin may not feel much like home to us because a lot of us experienced “not love” rather than love and this offers little to no safety for children. Furthermore, we may end up feeling “comfortable” with a limited amount of love and affection because it’s what we’re used to. Apparently we can change this with some education and perhaps counselling and/or group therapy? Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Some of us travel the whole world to find it.
Others find it in a person.
— Beau Taplin
My favourite therapist would agree, I think. He says our family of origin may not feel much like home to us because a lot of us experienced “not love” rather than love and this offers little to no safety for children. Furthermore, we may end up feeling “comfortable” with a limited amount of love and affection because it’s what we’re used to. Apparently we can change this with some education and perhaps counselling and/or group therapy? Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Saturday, March 14, 2020
Do whatever brings you joy?...
People are going to talk about you, no matter what you do. So you might as well do whatever brings you joy and live your best life.
— Unknown
I think I’m torn on this one. In my experience, it gets way more complicated with families and the older generation. Our elders seem to disapprove and/or worry about us. Perhaps we’ll end up doing the same? Change is hard, Lol. Maybe we can switch it up and allow the younger kids their new way of living. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
— Unknown
I think I’m torn on this one. In my experience, it gets way more complicated with families and the older generation. Our elders seem to disapprove and/or worry about us. Perhaps we’ll end up doing the same? Change is hard, Lol. Maybe we can switch it up and allow the younger kids their new way of living. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Friday, March 13, 2020
Thursday, March 12, 2020
Changing things...
I am no longer accepting the things I cannot change.
I am changing the things I cannot accept.
— Angela Davis (American political activist, philosopher, academic and author. She is the author of over ten books on class, feminism, and the U.S. prison system. Davis holds an MA from University of California and a PhD from Humboldt University of Berlin, East Germany. She was a awarded the Lenin Peace Prize).
My favourite therapist says we can make changes in our own world by learning to draw healthier boundaries. Personally, I needed help “changing the things I cannot accept.” I seem to revert to a bit of a five year old when I’m back in the old family “system” around my siblings and parent. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
I am changing the things I cannot accept.
— Angela Davis (American political activist, philosopher, academic and author. She is the author of over ten books on class, feminism, and the U.S. prison system. Davis holds an MA from University of California and a PhD from Humboldt University of Berlin, East Germany. She was a awarded the Lenin Peace Prize).
My favourite therapist says we can make changes in our own world by learning to draw healthier boundaries. Personally, I needed help “changing the things I cannot accept.” I seem to revert to a bit of a five year old when I’m back in the old family “system” around my siblings and parent. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Wednesday, March 11, 2020
Braver, stronger, smarter...
You are braver than you believe
Stronger than you seem
Smarter than you think
& Loved more than you know
— Unknown
I learned a LOT about myself when the chips were down. I never imagined the proverbial rainy day would land on me, given my line of work where jobs are a plenty. I floundered for a number of years and had no choice but to get creative and bold. I can’t say I’d wanna do that again, EVER! I had far too many sleepless nights and was prone to getting sick. Pretty cool stuff came out of that period though and I’m still amazed that such a rough experience managed to launch me into a new stratosphere financially and professionally. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Stronger than you seem
Smarter than you think
& Loved more than you know
— Unknown
I learned a LOT about myself when the chips were down. I never imagined the proverbial rainy day would land on me, given my line of work where jobs are a plenty. I floundered for a number of years and had no choice but to get creative and bold. I can’t say I’d wanna do that again, EVER! I had far too many sleepless nights and was prone to getting sick. Pretty cool stuff came out of that period though and I’m still amazed that such a rough experience managed to launch me into a new stratosphere financially and professionally. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Monday, March 9, 2020
Live inspired...
Be fucking fearless.
Have a vision.
Stay hustling.
Keep your focus.
Get motivated.
Get shit done.
Live inspired.
Live unfuckwithable.
— Fuckology
I’m interested in what motivates and inspires each of us. Clearly we each have a unique path and maybe being true to ourselves is fearless enough (for example, doing or being something our parents or grandparents can’t understand). Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO
Have a vision.
Stay hustling.
Keep your focus.
Get motivated.
Get shit done.
Live inspired.
Live unfuckwithable.
— Fuckology
I’m interested in what motivates and inspires each of us. Clearly we each have a unique path and maybe being true to ourselves is fearless enough (for example, doing or being something our parents or grandparents can’t understand). Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO
Sunday, March 8, 2020
Yours alone...
It’s your road, and yours alone.
Others may walk it with you,
but no one can walk it for you.
— Rumi
My life dramatically changed when I became brutally honest with myself and began making decisions just for me. I went through a bad (and humiliating) break up and rather than nursing my wounds, took ownership of the situation. First off, in truth I had been wanting out of the relationship for about a year, but wasn’t certain that my ideal partner actually existed. Second, I pretty much left the relationship, but didn’t move out. (Not fair to my partner that’s for sure). Third, I have always found change very difficult, even though it’s typically a breath of fresh air. Fourth, moving sucks, Lol. Okay, so once I got through all of that, I made four big commitments to myself and stuck to them. The results continue to be astonishing in every way; I’m making more money than I’ve ever made, my relationship is perfect even when it isn’t perfect, I make time for myself every morning as a reality/sanity check (I love writing and/or working out, as both relieve stress and generally make me feel good, so that’s what I do). I’m still committed to drawing healthy boundaries, but this one is a bit more work (and I lean on professional help), especially when it comes to longer term relationships (family!), with complicated history. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Others may walk it with you,
but no one can walk it for you.
— Rumi
My life dramatically changed when I became brutally honest with myself and began making decisions just for me. I went through a bad (and humiliating) break up and rather than nursing my wounds, took ownership of the situation. First off, in truth I had been wanting out of the relationship for about a year, but wasn’t certain that my ideal partner actually existed. Second, I pretty much left the relationship, but didn’t move out. (Not fair to my partner that’s for sure). Third, I have always found change very difficult, even though it’s typically a breath of fresh air. Fourth, moving sucks, Lol. Okay, so once I got through all of that, I made four big commitments to myself and stuck to them. The results continue to be astonishing in every way; I’m making more money than I’ve ever made, my relationship is perfect even when it isn’t perfect, I make time for myself every morning as a reality/sanity check (I love writing and/or working out, as both relieve stress and generally make me feel good, so that’s what I do). I’m still committed to drawing healthy boundaries, but this one is a bit more work (and I lean on professional help), especially when it comes to longer term relationships (family!), with complicated history. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Saturday, March 7, 2020
Carrying pain...
Be careful. There are people out there who will look at your love only as a place to put their pain.
— Beau Taplin
My favourite therapist says we tend to carry baggage from our family of origin and we may be completely unaware of this silent system running in the background. Furthermore, our emotional reactions may at times be completely out of proportion with a current issue because our past trauma has been involuntarily triggered. The good news is, we can choose to unpack some of those bags, with professional assistance, at any time and ease our pain. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
— Beau Taplin
My favourite therapist says we tend to carry baggage from our family of origin and we may be completely unaware of this silent system running in the background. Furthermore, our emotional reactions may at times be completely out of proportion with a current issue because our past trauma has been involuntarily triggered. The good news is, we can choose to unpack some of those bags, with professional assistance, at any time and ease our pain. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Friday, March 6, 2020
Safe haven...
Family is supposed to be our save haven. Very often, it’s the place where we find the deepest heartache.
— Iyanla Vanzant
Supposedly, we inherit not just physical characteristics, but personality traits and some of the generational family dynamics as well. In other words, our parents tend to parent the way their parents did and so on. Maybe it’s up to us to buck the trend and forge a new, healthier path. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
— Iyanla Vanzant
Supposedly, we inherit not just physical characteristics, but personality traits and some of the generational family dynamics as well. In other words, our parents tend to parent the way their parents did and so on. Maybe it’s up to us to buck the trend and forge a new, healthier path. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Thursday, March 5, 2020
The power of understanding...
We’re all so desperate to be understood, we forget to be understanding.
— Beau Taplin, Quotes and Notes (Author of Worlds of You and many others)
A friend of mine taught me how to invite a relationship building conversation. He simply asked if I would share my thoughts/feelings/needs and then he shared in kind. So simple. So effective. So loving. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
— Beau Taplin, Quotes and Notes (Author of Worlds of You and many others)
A friend of mine taught me how to invite a relationship building conversation. He simply asked if I would share my thoughts/feelings/needs and then he shared in kind. So simple. So effective. So loving. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Wednesday, March 4, 2020
Be gentle...
A reminder:
Be gentle with yourself, you’re doing the best that you can.
— journeystrength.com (Author is Rachel Adams, Olympic Medalist. Adams talks about her personal journey, including failures, struggles, dealing with burnout/fear/doubt and wanting to quit. She says adversity helped guide her to being present and paying attention to thoughts/mind/body/soul and learning to nourish herself).
My favourite therapist talks a lot about the internalized parent, that critical, judgmental voice within that tells us nothing is good enough. Once we become aware of it, we can debate the thoughts and hopefully replace them with more encouraging, uplifting and helpful messages. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Tuesday, March 3, 2020
Thought or feeling?...
I’ve read a lot about mind power and managing our thoughts. How about our emotions and mood though? Sometimes we’re just tired, or it’s raining on our good hair day, or the service light just went on in our car and we have no time for this. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Blessings,
Chatgirl
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