Responsive to change...

It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change.

— Charles Darwin

That’s interesting. We’ve always heard “survival of the fittest” which makes one think tough/strong/fearless, but in the business world for example, if you neglect the coming trend, you get left behind; manual vs automated manufacturing, typewriters vs computers, paper classifieds vs online markets (Amazon). So how do we as individuals evolve and progress in our lives? For me, learning new communication/relationship skills has transformed my personal and professional lives. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

On the other side of boundaries...

I help overachieving people-pleasers make themselves a priority... Everything you want is on the other side of setting your first boundary.

— Nancy Levin

My favourite therapist says we should not do things simply out of duty and obligation. He says we should take care of our own well being first and extend of ourselves if and when we have the extra energy and resources to extend. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Learning to love...

“Learning to love is difficult, and we pay dearly for it,” wrote the serious and somber author Fyodor Dostoevsky. “It takes hard work and a long apprenticeship,” he added. All that’s true, I think. To hone our ability to express tenderness and warmth, even when we’re not at our best, is the most demanding task on earth. It requires more courage than that of a soldier in the frenzy of battle, as much imagination as a poet, and diligence equal to that of an architect supervising the construction of a massive suspension bridge. And yet on the other hand—contrary to what Dostoevsky believed—sometimes love is mostly fun and inspiring and entertaining and educational.

— Rob Brezny, freewillastrology.com

My favourite therapist says that our ego’s often get in the way. He says the primary purpose of “Ego” is to protect us, however, as we age some of those protective instincts and strategies can be limiting and potentially damaging; needing to become rich/important/powerful at the expense of our relationships, finding ourselves isolated because we can’t trust, becoming paralyzed because we don’t feel safe. In my experience, with a little education education and sound guidance, it is more than possible to reinvent ourselves and our relationships. It’s not necessarily quick or easy, but wow, the results are exponentially rewarding. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Setting boundaries that stick...

Honour the space between no longer and not yet.

— Nancy Levin (Masters in Creative Writing and Poetics, Master Coach, creator of Levin Life Coaching Academy and best-selling author of The New Relationships Blueprint, Setting Boundaries will set You Free and many others. Levin guides clients to make themselves a priority and teaches individuals how to set boundaries that will stick).

We don’t necessarily learn people skills/communication skills/emotional capabilities at home or in school, but it’s never too late. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Top 10 New Year’s resolutions...

According to a survey of 2,000 people:

1. Diet or eat healthier (71%)
2. Exercise more (65%)
3. Lose weight (54%)
4. Save more and spend less (32%)
5. Learn a new skill or hobby (26%)
6. Quit smoking (21%)
7. Read more (17%)
8. Find another job (16%)
9. Drink less alcohol (15%)
10. Spend more time with family and friends (13%)

May your 2020 be filled with ease, joy, laughter, good friends and prosperity. Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

New Year’s resolution?...

Less sugar, more fruit.
Less meat, more veggies.
Less soda, more water.
Less worry, more sleep.
Less words, more action.

— extramadness.com

A savvy personal trainer advises that if we do nothing else, just drink more water and add a few extra veggies to our diet and we should be able to lose weight. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Change your mind...

Exercise not only changes your body. It changes your mind, your attitude and your mood.

— Unknown

According to medical experts “exercise is medicine.” Abundant evidence tells us that exercise is a key health indicator and reduces the risk of chronic disease. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Work with it...

Accept—then act. Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it... This will miraculously transform your whole life.

— Eckhart Tolle

My favourite therapist would also say accept yourself first, then act. (This involves quieting the internalized parent, that continues to judge us well into our adult years. Far too long). Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Level of honesty...

Getting your shit together requires a level of honesty you can’t even imagine. There’s nothing easy about realizing you’re the one that’s been holding you back this whole time.

— Averstu.com

My favourite therapist talks a lot about being honest with ourselves. I stepped into one of his relationship workshops and he began with a question that we all needed to answer publicly. “Why in truth are you here today?” I admitted I was there because my boyfriend thought I should go (because I was struggling with challenging family dynamics) and I really wanted the relationship to work. Turned out to be the best decision I ever made. What I continue to realize is that it’s never too late to learn new communication/relationship skills. (Ps. I don’t think we’re necessarily the ones holding ourselves back. I just think there are things we can do to help ourselves along the way). Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Battle of the mind...

Where there is great love,
there are always miracles.

— Willa Cather (Pulitzer Prize winning, American Author and teacher. Her novel Death Comes for the Archbishop was included on the Modern Library 100 Best Novels of the twentieth century as well as Time’s one hundred best English -language novels from 1923 to 2005).

They say what we focus on expands and so we should spend more time believing in and envisioning our dreams. Love instead of fear. Positivity instead of negativity. Possibility instead of doubt. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Inside job...

Happiness is an inside job. Don’t assign anyone else that much power over your life.

— Unknown

My favourite therapist insists that if we clean out some of the old skeletons in our closet, life will be much brighter. Most certainly, our primary relationships stand to improve dramatically. But he also says this is the road much less traveled. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

You get in life...

You get in life what you have the courage to ask for.

— Oprah Winfrey

I read a great book called Ask and it is Given, by Esther Hicks and Jerry Hicks. It helped me with fear and doubt, especially in those unknown times. I now direct my mind to focus on the dream as much as possible, and then turn to hope and faith. By faith, I mean just believing it’s possible and being open to opportunities and assistance in getting there. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

If you want it...

If you want it,
work for it

— Unknown

They say what we focus on expands. So if we want something, we need to be thinking about it, probably writing out particulars, and taking planned and committed action almost daily. If we’re not doing these things, then maybe we don’t want it badly enough, or deep down. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Adjust the sails...

We can’t direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails.

— Unknown

My favourite therapist says it all starts and ends with us. If we’re willing to deal with some of our old baggage, we’ll have greater capacity to face what life brings. We’ll be “triggered” less and have healthier relationships. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

For yourself...

Prove yourself to yourself.
not others.

— Unknown

My favourite therapist says our biggest priority should be our own health and well being. This means we may have to, with love and best wishes, say not to friends and family at times. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

The truth about soulmates...

A soulmate

Usually only comes once in your life to shake things up, show you true love, and stand up to you in ways no one else ever has. They adore you, and yet challenge you to your fullest potential. A soulmate relationship isn’t only peaches and cream, it’s roses and thorns.

— Unknown

My favourite therapist says the success of a relationship hinges largely on our emotional/communication skills. Are we able to overcome the inevitable obstacles together? Are we equipped to navigate difficulties as they arise? If we’ve cultivated healthy relationship skills, we will take the time to listen and invite the sharing of each other’s experience/thoughts/feelings/needs/wants. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

The best guy...

The best guy you’ll ever have is not the best looking, the funniest, or the richest. He’s the one that makes you feel gorgeous, hilarious, and like a million dollars. He makes sure you know you’re loved.

— Unknown

Actually, the guy who makes sure you know you’re loved may also be the best looking the funniest and and/or the richest. One of my trusted coaches taught me about writing down intentions. She says to write out everything you want. Ask for every little thing you need and want, in writing, and trust that this is possible. (Ps. It worked for me!). Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Time to move?...

If you don’t like where you are, move.
You are not a tree.

— Steve Maraboli (Decorated Military vet, Consultant, Motivational Speaker, best selling Author, Behavioral Scientist. Maraboli is the creator and developer of “Psycho-Neuro-Actualization” (The Maraboli Method); a breakthrough influence methodology that has gained worldwide attention for its effectiveness in Behaviour Modification, Habit Reconstruction and Personal/Group Mindset Enhancement. He has been featured in Inc. Magazine, Fortune, Success, Forbes, The Huffington Post, Psychology Today, CNN, Oprah Magazine, Reader’s Digest, Entrepreneur and many more. He was dubbed “The Most Quoted Man Alive” by Inc. Magazine in 2016).

All things seem to point to a mindset shift and then the possibility for evolution and greater fulfillment. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Love yourself...

Love yourself more.

— Unknown

My favourite therapist says there are a few things we can do to support our health and well-being; check in with ourselves regularly, determine what we’re feeling and take action when needed (such as saying no and/or drawing protective boundaries), and most importantly, accept ourselves for who we are. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Schedule it...

If you talk about it, it’s a dream.
If you envision it, it’s possible.
But if you schedule it, it’s real.

— Anthony Robbins

One of my coaches talks about intentions. She says if you’re hoping for a certain outcome, envision and write it out. Write out every tiny detail you can imagine. For example, for the dream job; yearly salary, what each day looks like, how you’ll feel each day, the kind of boss you’ll have, the corporate culture and how you’re treated there, and every other specific request you can think of. And aim high! (Ps. It worked for me. Every detail came to life). Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

The heart and the mind...

Sometimes your heart needs more time to accept what your mind already knows.

— Unknown

One of the most important things I learned from my favourite coach is that our hearts, rather than our minds, are often the key in managing our woes. In other words, we cannot simply intellectualize our feelings away. He says we need to feel what we’re feeling and mine those feelings for information. Are there new boundaries we need to draw, changes we need to make, for our health and well-being? Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

The secret of your future...

The secret of your future is hidden in your daily routine.

— Mike Murdock (American Contemporary Christian singer-songwriter and pastor. He preaches around the world and is best known for his promotion of prosperity theology. He hosts the School of Wisdom with Mike Murdock television program).

This seems to be a familiar theme from experts and motivational speakers. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Decide your habits...

People don’t decide their future,
they decide their habits and their habits decide their future.

— Unknown

Personally, I think it’s all about inspiration and motivation. What gets us out of bed in the morning? What gets us off the couch and away from Netflix, Lol? Just sayin’ ;) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl