Tired of where you are?...

To get somewhere new, you must first decide that you are tired of being where you are.

— Unknown

It took me far too long to act. I’m pretty sure I was emotionally out of my last relationship a year before it ended. I just couldn’t seem to make the call. I was worried about making the wrong decision because I wasn’t convinced that a better relationship existed? It was a crisis around what love really is, I think. While I was debating, the decision was made for me. Ouch. Moving forward, I know to be very, very honest with myself and make my own decisions. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Focus on the lesson...

If you focus on the hurt, you will continue to suffer.
If you focus on the lesson, you will continue to grow.

— e-Buddhism.com

My favourite therapist says if there’s something we can’t let go of, there’s usually an underlying issue. He says our Achilles heal tends to stem from childhood experiences, and things we were too young too understand, with emotions we were unable to process. He says if we’re willing to receive a bit of help processing these unresolved issues as adults, there is much waiting for us; better quality relationships, peace of mind and heart, more emotional availability, courage to pursue more of our dreams etc. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Priorities...

Make yourself a priority once in a while.
It’s not selfish.
It’s necessary.

— Unknown

My favourite therapist says we need to honour our own needs... which may mean saying no at times. He says it’s better for everyone in the end. We will likely have more to give, and certainly better quality time to offer. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Looking within...

Looking behind I am filled with gratitude.
Looking forward I am filled with vision.
Looking upwards I am filled with strength.
Looking within I discover peace.

— Q’ero Indians (The Q’ero are the last of the Incas. Their Panos or Shamans are considered the most knowledgeable and most powerful of the region. The Incas Predict an emergence into the golden age, a golden millennium of peace, which they say is a process of the heart).

My favourite therapist too says our personal healing and recovery from past hurts are a process of the heart. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Relax in the moment...

You’re not going to master the rest of your life in one day.
Just relax. Master the day.
Then just keep doing that every day.

I thought this was pretty revolutionary thinking when I read Eckhart Tolle’s The Power of Now. Who knew that thinking about the past and thinking ahead to the future could be such a source of stress. Thing is, I still catch myself fretting ahead. For example, I have to remind myself on Sundays that I’m not on the clock yet and I can relax all day and all night. (It’s called Smunday, Lol). Just sayin’ ;) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

I decided to forgive...

Today I decided to forgive you. Not because you apologized, or because you acknowledged the pain that you caused me, but because my soul deserves peace.

— Najwa Zebian (A celebrated Lebanese-Canadian poet, speaker and educator. Zebian talks about “building a home within ourselves; to live, love and create fearlessly.”)

I’ve struggled to forgive a few people in my life. I think logically I’ve understood the benefits of moving past anger and hurt, but a part of me couldn’t let go of the wrong doing. Striving for a peaceful soul, however, is a very worthy pursuit. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Change your life in one year...

8 Things that can change your life in one year:

1.  Stop complaining and appreciate how lucky you are every day.
2.  Embrace loneliness and reinvent yourself in the process.
3.  Say goodbye to the people that don’t bring positive energy into your life.
4.  Throw off the TV and set Internet controls.
5.  Pick one skill you want to cultivate and put all your effort into developing it.
6.  Commit to the goals you set and never look back.
7.  Sweat every day to boost your mood.
8.  Fail forward. Learn from every mistake you make.

— Unknown

One of my trusted coaches taught me about the “victim mentality” and fully owning my life. She said that if we’re willing to take responsibility for all of our choices and outcomes, we can manifest more of what we want. “Bad” things may happen to us she says, but we need to better manage our reactions and actions. Easier said than done actually. I’m grateful that I’ve welcomed the genius of key professionals who help me get out of my own way. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Get unstuck...

10 Ways to Get Unstuck in your life

1.   Change your song playlist.
2.   Start a new planner.
3.   Start working on a new habit.
4.   Move some furniture around in your room.
5.   Start a side hustle.
6.   Buy a new inspiring book.
7.   Start journaling for your mental wellness.
8.   Learn new things with online courses.
9.   Go on a trip (even a small one).
10. Change your style or hair color.

— Unknown

If I could go back in time, I would definitely pick one. It might have helped with the big change I needed to make. (I delayed ending a relationship and it cost me). Fortunately I turned a bad experience into a major turning point and the rewards keep coming. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Talk to yourself...

Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love.

— Brene Brown (An American research professor in The Graduate College of Social Work at the University of Houston. She has spent the past two decades studying courage, vulnerability, shame and empathy and is the author of five #1 New York Times best sellers: The gifts of Imperfection, Daring Greatly, Rising Strong, Braving the Wilderness and her latest book Dare to Lead, which is the culmination of a seven-year study on courage and leadership. Brown’s 2010 TED talk - The Power of Vulnerability - is one of the top five most viewed TED talks in the world, with over 35 million views).

My favourite therapist says we have to learn how to manage our Ego (Ego = identity/self-awareness) to allow for vulnerability and better quality relationships. Joel Brass teaches very enlightening seminars on this sort of thing. Changed my life, that’s for sure. Eternal thanks Joel.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Habits of Happy Women

12 Habits of All Happy Women

1.  They practice self-care
2.  They have a routine
3.  They are open minded
4.  They keep smiling
5.  They are kind
6.  They express gratitude
7.  They exercise
8.  They have passion
9.  They spend time alone
10. They are positive
11. They have accountability
12. They accept their flaws

— Unknown

My favourite therapist says accepting and honouring ourselves for who we really are is key. Just sayin’ :) Hug. XO

Your year...

If you want 2019 to be your year;
Don’t sit on the couch and wait for it.
Go out. Make a change.
Smile more. Be excited.
Do new things. Throw away what you’ve been cluttering.
Unfollow negative people on social media.
Go to bed early. Wake up early.
Don’t gossip. Show more gratitude.
Do things that challenge you.
Be brave.

— Unknown

I took this advice a few years back after a bad break up. It was humiliating because I had been dragging my heels on breaking it off. I’m still surprised, amazed and pretty happy at my response. I realized that putting off the hard decisions served me badly and I made immediate and lasting changes. I quit eating sugar because I felt it was a tiny crutch and maybe not the healthiest (with the odd treat after three years of cold turkey), I do one extra task at work each day, I made a new “list” for my perfectly compatible life partner, and gave myself permission to say no when needed. The results are actually astounding. I’m living the life of my dreams. More money would be cool, but I don’t need “things” to fulfill me anymore. Quite the freeing place to be and great for the bank account. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

5 Things to quit right now...

1. Trying to please everyone.
2. Fearing change.
3. Living in the past.
4. Putting yourself down.
5. Overthinking

My favourite therapist says we need to honour ourselves more. He says we need to do things because we want and need to for our health and well-being, despite what others may think. It’s a bit of a  paradigm shift to move from feeling selfish to focusing on self-preservation and deeper personal fulfilment. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Richer than you think...

If you have a family that loves you, a few good friends, food on your table and a roof over your head, you are richer than you think.

— Unknown

Many worldly, wise people say that gratitude for what we already have is the key to feeling joyful and abundant. They say what we focus on expands and so if we focus on feeling abundant, we “attract” more abundance and joy our way. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Liking yourself...

Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it.

— Maya Angelou (American poet, singer, actor/director, memoirist and civil rights activist. She published seven autobiographies, three books of essays, several books of poetry, and is credited with lists of plays, movies and television shows spanning 50 years. She received more than 50 honorary degrees. She also worked with Martin Luther King Jr. and Malcolm X).

My favourite therapist says we have to have our own back, all the way. He says we have to accept and embrace all of who we are, flaws and all. We also have to honour our needs and wants, even if that means sometimes letting others down. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Real relationships that last...

Most people don’t want to hear this, but real relationships that last involve a lot of forgiveness. You have to accept the fact that your partner isn’t perfect and will hurt you, disappoint you, and upset you. You have to figure out if you’re willing to go through the ups and downs with them.

— Unknown

It took a few failed relationships to figure this one out. I finally realized (with some coaching and therapy, Lol) I needed better compatibility as a starting point. With the right partner, it’s way easier to make allowances for one another’s idiosyncrasies. I think you need to like your partner as much as you love them. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

The power that is within you...

Every night before you fall asleep, give a heartfelt thanks for the wonderful day you just had (no matter what kind of day you had). Think about the next day, and intend that it is going to be wonderful. Intend that it is going to be the best day or your life. Intend that it is going to be filled with love and joy. Intend that all good is coming to you and everything is going to flow perfectly, etc. Then when you wake in the morning, BEFORE you get out of bed, again declare your intentions for the day and give deep thanks as though you have received them all. As you do this, you will begin to create your life deliberately, and you will experience firsthand the power that is within you to create the life you want.

— The Secret

I’ve tried this and it can be quite miraculous. Things don’t always come in the time frame I’m hoping for, but when I stay with it, my “intentions” generally come true. The odd time I don’t get what I’ve envisioned, and something even better comes along. Fewf. Maybe someone’s looking out for us after all. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs. XO

Keep aiming...

An arrow can only be shot by pulling it backward. When life is dragging you back with difficulties, it means it’s going to launch you into something great. So just focus, and keep aiming.

— Unknown

I went through a rough patch for a few years and I can honestly say I’m the stronger for it. It was hugely stressful at the time, but it forced me to be more creative, resourceful and forward looking. I also learned how to keep myself entertained without spending money, which makes for infinitely better finances. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Note to self...

You can’t control how other people receive your energy. Anything you do or say gets filtered through the lens of whatever personal stuff they are going through at that moment. Which is not about you. Just keep doing your thing with as much integrity and love as possible.

— Unknown

My favourite therapist says we are all conditioned by our upbringing and life experiences, which can leave us with “triggers” and reactionary behaviour. With some effort and focus (and maybe courses or counseling?) we can improve on our relationship skills and smooth out a few wrinkles. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Life hack (overall health and weight loss)continued...

Life Hack # 1686

If you drink enough fluids in the morning, you will feel happier, sharper, and more energetic throughout the day.

— 1000LifeHacks.com

More water and especially in the morning, got it. A smart personal trainer also told me that if we do nothing else, just add one more vegetable each day, along with the fluids,  to aid in weight loss, improved energy level and overall good health. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Get luckier...

The harder you work, the luckier you get.

— Gary Player (South African professional golfer, widely considered one of the greatest golfers ever.  Over his career, he accumulated nine major championships on the regular tour and nine Championship tour major championship victories. At 29 he won the 1965 US Open and became the only non-American to win all four majors in his career, known as the career Grand Slam. He was inducted into the World Golf Hall of Fame in 1974).

Amazing to hear someone so accomplished, and obviously gifted, talk about luck. In my own world, I made a decision to work harder on a daily basis at my personal and career goals. Not a crazy change, but just an extra bit of effort each day. The results have been quite miraculous. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl