It is so basic in us to feel that things should go well for us, and that if we start to feel depressed, lonely, or inadequate, there’s been some kind of mistake or we’ve lost it. In reality, when you feel depressed, lonely, betrayed, or any unwanted feelings, this is an important moment on the spiritual path. This is where real transformation can take place. As long as we’re caught up in always looking for certainty and happiness, rather than honoring the taste and smell and quality of exactly what is happening, as long as we’re always running away from discomfort, we’re going to be caught in a cycle of unhappiness and disappointment, and we will feel weaker and weaker.
— Pema Chodron (An American Tibetan Buddhist, ordained nun and graduate of Berkeley, California. Chodron has written several dozen books and audiobooks, and is principal teacher/director at Gampo Abbey, the first Tibetan Buddhist monastery in North America for Western men and women).
I stumbled across the idea of an “inward” journey toward peace and fulfillment when I was young and had no idea what this meant or how to do it. I was certainly intrigued. I learned that seeking happiness and fulfillment in the external world (money, goodies/baubles, a loved one, security) is a trap because things can change and/or go away. Post-2008 financial crisis, I experienced deep loss and ended up going “within” because I had nowhere else to go. Funds were tight, but I still had a pen, a few pieces of paper and a cup of coffee every morning. I could also lose myself in stories and know that I wasn’t alone. I still find it amazing that such a terrifying time, with no security in sight, could lead me to the stability I now feel. Don’t get me wrong, this strength did not happen overnight. I struggled for more than a few years before righting the ship and then arriving at greater peace and prosperity. I think the changes are fairly invisible, but I just know that I am a survivor and I am capable of digging as deep as I must in order to survive and then thrive again. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
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