The healthiest of emotions...

Gratitude is the healthiest of all human emotions.
The more you express gratitude for what you have,
the more likely you will have even more to express gratitude for.

— Zig Ziegler (American author, salesman and motivational speaker. He was a charter member of the establishment of American Salesmasters in 1963. The company’s objective was to raise the image of American sales people. Ziegler wrote over 30 books in his lifetime. His first book See You at the Top was rejected 39 times before it was published in 1975 and remains in print).

39 nine rejections and Ziegler kept at it. Interesting that he speaks of gratitude after such an experience. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Peace and happiness...

I’m at a place in my life where my peace and happiness are my top priorities. I avoid placing myself around negative energy.

— Unknown

When I was younger, I used to vent a lot more and I have to admit, it felt kinda good. Sometimes you just gotta let off some steam. As life would have it though, my boyfriend at the time wasn’t super impressed. He led, or rather, pushed me toward better coping strategies. I ended up pursuing all kinds of avenues; spiritual healing, traditional therapy, energy work, relationship skills seminars, paradigm shifting books and more. I learned from all of these disciplines and I am soooo much the better for it. I’m not gonna lie. Taking a closer look at some of the emotional pit falls required a great deal of time, money, tears, humility, courage, effort, and then some. I gave up a lot of weekends going back in time, trying to repair some of the old foundation. I’ll tell you what though... for me at least, I found a proverbial pot of gold (materially, emotionally and all) on the other side of it all . Just sayin’:) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Stop thinking...

Dear Mind,

Please stop thinking
so much at night,
I need to sleep.

— Unknown

I know, right?! The following breathing exercise sometimes works; breath in for four seconds, hold your breath for four seconds, breath out for four seconds, hold your breath for four seconds, repeat. Yoga, meditation, mindfulness in general (or rather, calming and emptying the mind as best we can) are supposed to help reduce stress and anxiety. It’s not as easy as one might imagine. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

To save you...

No one is coming to save you. This life is 100% your responsibility.

— Unknown

The idea of “owning” everything that happens to us, or “the victim mentality” was quite the paradigm shift when I first heard it. As I understand it, we may have been victims in our lives, and surely this was not our fault, but once we become adults, it’s all on us, gulp. There really is no one coming. Our parents have done their jobs, as best they could, we’ve graduated high school, and now we are left to deal. We’re allowed to be upset and angry about the bag we’re left holding, but anger is not going to solve our issues or make our lives better. I resorted to therapy, life coaching and relationship skills courses for assistance because I wasn’t remotely equipped for stellar relationships coming from my family of origin. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Not perfect...

Life isn’t always perfect. Life isn’t always easy. Life doesn’t always make sense. But that’s the beauty of life.

— Unknown

My brain totally gets this. Not so much with my emotions, reactions and resolution of things that go “wrong”. Sometimes I feel like a big baby :/ Just sayin’ ;) Hugs xo

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Plant the seed...

The day you plant the seed is not the day you eat the fruit.

— Unknown

They say “savour the waiting”. This is a lot harder than it sounds, especially for an impatient girl like myself. I decided a while ago to clearly outline my wishes (and on paper), hold these wishes dear to my heart and then try my best to set them free for now. Amazingly enough, most of these wishes have come true. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

No-lose guarantee...

“Security is not having things; it’s handling things. Thus, when you can answer all your ‘what ifs’ with ‘I can handle it’, you can approach all things with a no-lose guarantee, and the fear disappears.”

— Susan Jeffers (Author of Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway)

I read Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway many years ago and it’s always stuck with me. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Richer than you think...

If you have a family that loves you, a few good friends, food on your table and a roof over your head,  you are richer than you think.

— Unknown

I’m not sure I would have agreed with this quote ten years ago. Then I lost my job and life got tough for a painful and terrifying number of years. The silver lining... I now realize how important gainful employment is. My goal at work these days is to be indispensable (and I love the work, go figure). I also learned how to enjoy a few drinks with friends, or coffee with my writing, or a peaceful yoga session because these things were my life line. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Elimination diet...

Remove anger, regret, resentment, guilt, blame and worry.
Then watch your health and life improve.

— Dr. Charles F Glassman (Author of The Breakthrough That will Change Your Life).

Dr Glassman’s goal is to “prevent illness and to practice healthcare rather than focus on ‘sick care,’” He says that “to heal our bodies, we must properly use our minds.” In a nut shell, he offers seven steps to help us gain more control over our unnecessarily fear-based, stressful and harmful thoughts. Might be worth checking out! Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Nothing changes...

Nothing changes if nothing changes.

— Unknown

Simply put, it’s up to us. We need to find a way through; learn something new, do something new, if we can’t seem to make a change, then accept our scenario and find peace and happiness within. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Relationships are murdered...

Relationships never die a natural death..

They are murdered by Ego, Disrespect, Selfishness or Disloyalty.

—e-Buddhism.com

These are strong words. They’re probably true, but when I look back on my younger self, I feel my relationship woes stemmed from; lack of knowledge (parents had a world war three type relationship, which sadly taught me nil about solving issues), lack of awareness (friendship or family-type love vs being in love/passionate/romantic love), uncertainty about just how good a relationship one can expect (I mean, does perfect really exist?), and on and on. I contributed to the death of my past relationships, no question. What a journey it was learning to understand myself and then define and “attract” my perfect partner. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

When people give advice...

It’s one of my theories that when people give you advice, they’re really just talking to themselves in the past.

— Mark Epstein (American author and psychotherapist, integrating both Buddha’s and Freud’s approaches to trauma. Known for The Trauma of Everyday Life).

I used to tire of my Dad’s never ending advice, especially when I was a teenager. I finally told him “Dad, I think some things I need to learn for myself.” Funny thing is, he was right about a lot of things (he passed away many years ago now, and I often thank him for taking the time to help me. I hope he can hear me). There’s something to be said for life experience. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Is it love?...

If it’s destroying you, then it isn’t love, my dear.

— Unknown

I learned this one the hard way. Thankfully, I took a time out after my last relationship malfunction and spent about a year defining my ideal partner (with the help of genius coaches). I hunkered down and knew I’d wait as long as I needed to. Honestly, I just couldn’t go through another mismatch and then crappy break up. It paid off and it paid off huge. I am eternally grateful. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

The perfect lifestyle (and then partner)...

Chances are, you won’t find the right love until you find the lifestyle you love.

— Lebo Grand (Author of The art of seductive living).

After trying to “fit a square peg into the round hole” I went back to the drawing board on my love life. I’m not sure what inspired me to do it, but I sat down and got really honest with myself. I thought about the things I love doing, the things I never want to do again and then I wrote out my perfect life. I gave myself permission to be not cultured enough, or not outdoorsy enough. I finally realized I couldn’t do it anymore. I couldn’t pretend I enjoyed sitting on a bike all weekend, leaving the car behind (I’m a city girl. Hello?!). It took almost a year of tweaking my vision of my perfect life and then my 13/10 amazing man walked into my life. We saw each other from across the room, found our way over to each other, talked deep into the night and never looked back. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Embracing criticism...

Accept both compliments and criticism. It takes both sun and rain for a flower to grow.

— Unknown

My favourite therapist teaches weekend relationship workshops. I’ve learned my most valuable lessons from him. He talks a lot about the importance of listening carefully to our loved ones. He says if he were to interview five of our closest friends/family members, they would have very similar experiences of being in relationship with us, and they are allowed to be “right.” It took me a long time to welcome such feedback. I tended to feel judged and hurt. Valuing the other person’s experience (what they think and how they feel), has deepened my most important relationships. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Within our control...

Today I will not stress over things I can’t control.

— Unknown

It’s not easy, is it? Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Bumpy ride...

Nothing goes to waste on the journey of life. Both good and bad experiences shape your mind and heart for what is to come.

— Unknown

Life is a ride, that’s for sure. My favourite therapist observed that I want everything to be “sunny or sunnier.” He says we need some of those darker moods and emotions, so that we may be guided in the right direction. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Walk away in peace...

It’s so empowering to say “This isn’t serving me” and walk away in peace.

— Unknown

I think we’re taught that “taking care of #1” is selfish. My favourite therapist says, however, we need to understand why we’re doing certain things. If we are choosing to do something for a loved one out of duty and obligation, that’s ok. Otherwise, we should think carefully and honor ourselves enough to decline at times, in support of our own health and well-being. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Types of intelligence...

80% of billionaires don’t have a college degree.

— @motivated.mindset

Actually, 9 different types of intelligence have been identified:
1. Naturalist Intelligence:
Think botanist or chef, or the ability to discriminate among consumer goods products.
2. Musical Intelligence:
The ability to discern pitch, rythm, timber and tone. A link with emotion and/or math.
3. Logical-Mathematical Intellgence:
Patterns, categories and relationships, games, experiments.
4. Existential Intelligence:
Deep questions about human existence, meaning of life, why we die, how we got here.
5. Interpersonal Intelligence:
Understand and interact effectively with others, entertain multiple perspectives (teachers, social workers, actors, politicians).
6. Bodily-Kinesthetic Intelligence:
Manipulate objects and use a variety of physical skills through mind-body union (Athletes, dancers, surgeons, crafts people).
7. Linguistic Intelligence:
Think in words (order and meaning) and use language to express and appreciate complex meanings.
(Poets, novelists, journalists, public speakers). Young adults with this kind of intelligence enjoy writing, reading, telling stories, doing crosswords.
8. Intra-personal Intelligence:
Capacity to understand oneself, one’s thoughts and feelings and to use knowledge in planning and directing one’s life. Appreciation for the human condition. (Psychologists, spiritual leaders, philosophers).
9. Spatial Intelligence:
Ability to think in three dimensions. (Sailors, pilots, sculptors, painters, architects).

So in other words, we’re all good at something, and we don’t necessarily have to go to college to “succeed.” Just saying’ :) Happy Friday!

Blessings,

Chatgirl

What mentally strong people do...

18 Things Mentally Strong People do

1.   They move on.
      They don’t wast time feeling sorry for themselves.
2.   They keep control.
      The don’t give away their power.
3.   They embrace change.
      They welcome challenges.
4.   They stay happy.
      They don’t complain. They don’t waste energy on things they can’t control.
5.   They are kind, fair and unafraid to speak up.
      They don’t worry about pleasing other people.
6.   They are willing to take calculated risks.
      They weigh the risks and benefits before taking action.
7.   They invest their energy in the present.
      They don’t dwell on the past.
8.   They accept full responsibility for their past behaviour.
      They don’t make the same mistake over and over.
9.   They celebrate other people’s success.
      They don’t resent that success.
10. They are willing to fail.
      They don’t give up after failing.
      They see every failure as a chance to improve.
11. They enjoy their alone time.
      They don’t fear being alone.
12. They are prepared to work and succeed on their own merits.
      They don’t feel the world owes them anything.
13. They have staying power.
      They don’t expect immediate results.
14. They evaluate their core beliefs
       — and modify as needed.
15. They expend their mental energy wisely.
      They don’t spend time on unproductive thoughts.
16. They think productively.
      They replace negative thoughts with productive thoughts.
17. They tolerate discomfort.
      They accept their feelings without being controlled by them.
18. They reflect on their progress every day.
      They take time to consider what they’ve achieved and where there they are going.

— Forbes.com

Change is the toughest one for me. Why is the unknown sooo scary? And what is it about disruption and disorganization that is so uncomfortable? I’m gonna work on being more comfortable with the work in progress phases of life. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

It’s not the answer...

I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it’s not the answer.

— Actor Jim Carrey

Thank you Jim Carrey for being willing to be authentic and vulnerable. My favourite therapist says this is the beginning of true happiness. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Strongest factor for success...

The strongest factor for success is self-esteem. Believing you can do it, believing you deserve it and believing you’ll get it.

— Unknown

The more I read and research, the more I hear this sentiment (across all walks of life). Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl