Good for my health...

I’ve decided to be happy because it is good for my health.

— Voltaire

One of my trusted coaches taught me about breaking free from a “victim mentality.” In a nutshell, she says that if we own absolutely everything in our lives, we arm ourselves with the control (capacity) to make healthy changes and live a healthier, happier life. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Trust the vibes...

Trust the vibes you get,
energy does not lie.

— Unknown

My favourite therapist says check in with how the body feels. If we feel relaxed and comfortable, things are probably copacetic. If we’re tense with a niggle in our tummy, we may need to address something that’s happening around us. For example, if our boundaries have been crossed, he says we should have our own back and kindly make the necessary request. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Inner turmoil...

Even the different parts of the same person do not often converse among themselves, do not succeed in learning from each other.

— Rebecca West

My favourite therapist contends that much of our conflict stems from our family of origin and the resulting turmoil within. He describes four parts of us (often competing) from within; our Adult responsible self, that shows up to the office/public, our Spirit or Highest Self who would forgive wrongs or help someone in need, our very sensitive and often fearful Inner Child who would rather play and not go to work, and the very unrelenting Ego who wants to win, perhaps at all cost. He recommends writing to these parts of ourselves, in support of inner harmony and making making positive and healthy life choices. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Struggles develop strengths...

Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths.
When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.

— M. Gandhi

My favourite therapist says something similar about relationship challenges. He says when we commit to sharing our thoughts, feelings and experiences with one another, we deepen our level of understanding and expands our capacity for intimacy. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Fall in love...

Fall in love with the process of becoming the very best version of yourself.

— Unknown

I found myself on such a path a number of years ago. I didn’t choose this path per se. I managed to learn from one too many bad relationships and made the decision to never, EVER, go through that again. I took a time out and focused on my own life. I became very clear about what kind of life I want to live and what kind of partner would match that vision. I also made the decision to invest more fully, and on a daily basis, in my self and my well being; limit sugar and carbs + add more yoga (which is calming for me), do a little extra at work each day, save money for the future and create separate funds for trips and extra’s, plus continue finding new ways to become my very best self. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

10 ways to love...

Listen without interrupting.
Share without pretending.
Speak without accusing.
Enjoy without complaint.
Give without sparing.
Trust without wavering.
Pray without ceasing.
Forgive without punishing.
Answer without arguing.
Promise without forgetting.

— Unknown

My favourite therapist emphasizes relationship skills above all. He says it’s never too late to invite one another to share our feelings and experiences, so that we may understand each other better, cultivate compassion and better accommodate one another. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

No regrets (but let’s learn)...

In order to love who you are,
you cannot hate the experiences
that shaped you.

— Unknown

I catch myself reviewing the past and beating myself up for bad decisions; less than stellar relationship match ups, lagging at work sometimes, resentment over my upbringing, disappointment over challenging familial relationships and on and on. My favourite therapist says all we can do is get better and better at being in the present and acting on the information we have at hand. He says if we look back we can learn about where we’ve ignored our instincts, intuition and outright signs. He says, with regard to choosing romantic partners, odds are we saw telling signs within the first two weeks of dating. (For example, in one of my relationships there was extreme lateness and an overall lack of consideration, which are hands down deal breakers for me. I let that relationship go on for 6 years. Oy vey). Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl