Hardest Life Lessons People Have Learned in Their Lives
1. Not everybody likes you but that doesn't mean everyone dislikes you.
2. Not all things will work out the way you planned.
3. Sometimes they just don't love you back... And most of the time is has nothing to do with you. You're not worthless because someone you loved doesn't love you back.
4. No matter how much you love the person if they aren't right for you then you should leave.
5. Listen to people who tell you what you don't want to hear.
6. Don't take people for granted. You never know when they could be gone. You never know how much they mean to you until they're gone.
7. That sometimes being courageous is going to bed and saying "I will try again tomorrow."
8. Family isn't always family. Sometimes family is never family. Your family are the people you care for and who care for you. Your family could be your close friends or your pets, anyone.
- Compliments of @Lifehack
Some of these things run pretty deep. We can develop "loveability issues" according to my favourite therapist. Our parents will certainly have done their best, but sometimes we come away feeling flawed and unworthy and we don't even know it. They say we have to learn to love and accept ourselves first and foremost. Just sayin' :) Hugs.
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Monday, May 22, 2017
Sunday, May 21, 2017
The Success Indicator...
Compliments of MaryEllen Tribby
Successful People: Unsuccessful People:
Have a sense of gratitue Have a sense of entitlement
Compliment Criticize
Forgive Others Hold a grudge
Give others credit Take all the credit
Read everyday Watch TV everyday
Talk about ideas Talk about people
Share information Hoard information
Exude joy Exude anger
Keep a to-do/project list. Never set goals
Transformational mindset Fear change
Keep a "to-be" list. Don't know what they want to be
Want others to succeed Secretly hope others fail
Accept responsibility Blame others
Keep a journal Say they keep a journal, but don't really
Continuously learn Think they know it all
For what it's worth... Just sayin' :)
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Successful People: Unsuccessful People:
Have a sense of gratitue Have a sense of entitlement
Compliment Criticize
Forgive Others Hold a grudge
Give others credit Take all the credit
Read everyday Watch TV everyday
Talk about ideas Talk about people
Share information Hoard information
Exude joy Exude anger
Keep a to-do/project list. Never set goals
Transformational mindset Fear change
Keep a "to-be" list. Don't know what they want to be
Want others to succeed Secretly hope others fail
Accept responsibility Blame others
Keep a journal Say they keep a journal, but don't really
Continuously learn Think they know it all
For what it's worth... Just sayin' :)
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Saturday, May 20, 2017
Inside voice...
Ever feel kinda crazy? One part of you says it's all cool, but another part says fuck that? I mean really... if we can't even manage our own feelings, what can we expect of others? My favourite therapist says there are four potentially competing parts of us; the inner child (I want what I want when I want it), the ego (typically critical and unrelenting), spirit (all love, acceptance and forgiveness) and the adult (the rational front we show the world). Might explain a lot of the drama and confusion in relationships. The "I'm fine" situation comes to mind, Lol. Just sayin' ;)
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Friday, May 19, 2017
What motivates us?...
How is it that some people are able to maintain a very regulated routine, when so many others struggle with even basic to-do's? Do genetics and/or conditioning from childhood dictate our drive?
Daniel Ping, author of Drive, contends that human motivation is largely intrinsic and can be divided into autonomy (a desire to be self-directed), master (an urge to get better skills) and purpose (to do something that has meaning and feels important). "Carrots & Sticks are so last Century" says Ping, who argues against old models of motivation, driven by rewards and fear of punishment."
In summary, intrinsic motivation (which is the strongest motivator) drives us to do things for the fun of it, or because we believe it is a good or right thing to do. Most people's hobbies are instrinsically motivated, however few people have that amount of passion at work :( So I guess it's up to us to pursue things we can get excited about, whether personally or professionally. And hey, if not, we're still ok. We have the right to choose. Just sayin' :) Hugs.
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Daniel Ping, author of Drive, contends that human motivation is largely intrinsic and can be divided into autonomy (a desire to be self-directed), master (an urge to get better skills) and purpose (to do something that has meaning and feels important). "Carrots & Sticks are so last Century" says Ping, who argues against old models of motivation, driven by rewards and fear of punishment."
In summary, intrinsic motivation (which is the strongest motivator) drives us to do things for the fun of it, or because we believe it is a good or right thing to do. Most people's hobbies are instrinsically motivated, however few people have that amount of passion at work :( So I guess it's up to us to pursue things we can get excited about, whether personally or professionally. And hey, if not, we're still ok. We have the right to choose. Just sayin' :) Hugs.
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Thursday, May 18, 2017
A bit about sulking (basically, not good)....
Having a wee tendency to sulk a bit myself, I thought I'd do some research on the topic. I was suprised at how negatively this behaviour is viewed. The sulker's passive-aggressive tendendies are described as a manipulation in order to get other people to conform to their wishes. Woops!
Some details about the sulking type:
1. Tend to avoid conflict by being silent, hiding away or putting on a "look" for a specified period that they deem appropriate. (The worst is when they warm up when other people come around and then revert to frosty again when they leave).
2. The advice is - don't take it to heart. The sulker is trying to make you take responsibility for their emotional immaturity. If you engage the behaviour, you'll have to keep dealing with this dynamic until (or if) you change it. See this an an issue of their hurt self being unable to reconcile itself. Leave their emotions with them and wait out the rudeness.
3. Don't put up with it. Don't let the sulker's hurt self control you or you will forever walk on eggshells. Ignore the behaviour and let the sulker do the appropriate soul searching and then take responsibility for their emotions. (Of course, take responsibility for your part in things, if need be).
4. Once the sulker sees that their sulking isn't working, they'll have to deal with their emotions in a different way.
5. If the sulker continues with their adult-child tactics, consider that this person has a control issue and may never stop. You can choose whether to live with this or not.
- Compliments of Wikihow.com (How to Deal With a Lover Who Sulks).
Wow, I feel sufficiently schooled! An alternative to sulking is expressing feelings and making requests. I have found that this takes practice. Powerful emotions can temporarily paralyze a person. Just sayin' :) Hugs.
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Some details about the sulking type:
1. Tend to avoid conflict by being silent, hiding away or putting on a "look" for a specified period that they deem appropriate. (The worst is when they warm up when other people come around and then revert to frosty again when they leave).
2. The advice is - don't take it to heart. The sulker is trying to make you take responsibility for their emotional immaturity. If you engage the behaviour, you'll have to keep dealing with this dynamic until (or if) you change it. See this an an issue of their hurt self being unable to reconcile itself. Leave their emotions with them and wait out the rudeness.
3. Don't put up with it. Don't let the sulker's hurt self control you or you will forever walk on eggshells. Ignore the behaviour and let the sulker do the appropriate soul searching and then take responsibility for their emotions. (Of course, take responsibility for your part in things, if need be).
4. Once the sulker sees that their sulking isn't working, they'll have to deal with their emotions in a different way.
5. If the sulker continues with their adult-child tactics, consider that this person has a control issue and may never stop. You can choose whether to live with this or not.
- Compliments of Wikihow.com (How to Deal With a Lover Who Sulks).
Wow, I feel sufficiently schooled! An alternative to sulking is expressing feelings and making requests. I have found that this takes practice. Powerful emotions can temporarily paralyze a person. Just sayin' :) Hugs.
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Wednesday, May 17, 2017
Believe you can....
Believe you can and you're halfway there.
- Theodore Roosevelt, the 26th (and youngest) President of the United States, was a driving force for the Progressive Era. He was born a sickly child with debilitating asthma, but successfully overcame his health issues by embracing a strenuous lifestyle. Roosevelt, who's image stands on Mount Rushmore, is generally ranked one of the five best presidents, winning a landslide victory based on a platform of peace, prosperity and conservatism. He promised the average citizen fairness. He also won the Nobel Peace Prize in 1906 for brokering the end of the Russo-Japanese War.
They say "what you focus on expands," so if we spend our time hoping for and pursuing the things we want, we might surprise ourselves. Miracles can happen. Just sayin' :) Hugs.
Blessings,
Chatgirl
- Theodore Roosevelt, the 26th (and youngest) President of the United States, was a driving force for the Progressive Era. He was born a sickly child with debilitating asthma, but successfully overcame his health issues by embracing a strenuous lifestyle. Roosevelt, who's image stands on Mount Rushmore, is generally ranked one of the five best presidents, winning a landslide victory based on a platform of peace, prosperity and conservatism. He promised the average citizen fairness. He also won the Nobel Peace Prize in 1906 for brokering the end of the Russo-Japanese War.
They say "what you focus on expands," so if we spend our time hoping for and pursuing the things we want, we might surprise ourselves. Miracles can happen. Just sayin' :) Hugs.
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Tuesday, May 16, 2017
Tip toe if you must...
Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the biggest step of your life. Tip toe is you must, but take the step.
- Unknown
It occurs to me that my biggest blessings have come from decisions I made very consciously.
1. Giving up sweets - cravings for protein and vegies instead, weight control, better energy level, clothes fit better, feel sexier.
2. Writing a blog - daily learning and acceptance of personal foibles and perceived weaknesses.
3. Working harder every day - more bonus, recognition, feeling of value with customers.
4. Choosing a nicer/more giving partner - more joy and love than I thought possible.
5. Learned to say no - less concern over what people think, less quilt and pressure to do things out of duty and obligation, more peace, calm, energy, positivity.
6. Saying no to drama/negativity filled people - feeling free and not weighed down, peace, calm.
Just sayin' :) Hugs.
Blessings,
Chatgirl
- Unknown
It occurs to me that my biggest blessings have come from decisions I made very consciously.
1. Giving up sweets - cravings for protein and vegies instead, weight control, better energy level, clothes fit better, feel sexier.
2. Writing a blog - daily learning and acceptance of personal foibles and perceived weaknesses.
3. Working harder every day - more bonus, recognition, feeling of value with customers.
4. Choosing a nicer/more giving partner - more joy and love than I thought possible.
5. Learned to say no - less concern over what people think, less quilt and pressure to do things out of duty and obligation, more peace, calm, energy, positivity.
6. Saying no to drama/negativity filled people - feeling free and not weighed down, peace, calm.
Just sayin' :) Hugs.
Blessings,
Chatgirl
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