Thursday, May 18, 2017

A bit about sulking (basically, not good)....

Having a wee tendency to sulk a bit myself, I thought I'd do some research on the topic. I was suprised at how negatively this behaviour is viewed. The sulker's passive-aggressive tendendies are described as a manipulation in order to get other people to conform to their wishes. Woops!

Some details about the sulking type:
1. Tend to avoid conflict by being silent, hiding away or putting on a "look" for a specified period that they deem appropriate. (The worst is when they warm up when other people come around and then revert to frosty again when they leave).
2. The advice is - don't take it to heart. The sulker is trying to make you take responsibility for their emotional immaturity. If you engage the behaviour, you'll have to keep dealing with this dynamic until (or if) you change it. See this an an issue of their hurt self being unable to reconcile itself. Leave their emotions with them and wait out the rudeness.
3. Don't put up with it. Don't let the sulker's hurt self control you or you will forever walk on eggshells. Ignore the behaviour and let the sulker do the appropriate soul searching and then take responsibility for their emotions. (Of course, take responsibility for your part in things, if need be).
4. Once the sulker sees that their sulking isn't working, they'll have to deal with their emotions in a different way.
5. If the sulker continues with their adult-child tactics, consider that this person has a control issue and may never stop. You can choose whether to live with this or not.

- Compliments of Wikihow.com (How to Deal With a Lover Who Sulks).

Wow, I feel sufficiently schooled! An alternative to sulking is expressing feelings and making requests. I have found that this takes practice. Powerful emotions can temporarily paralyze a person. Just sayin' :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl


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